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[Harry Potter theme plays]
pizza-your-heart
me today
hello vonnie

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
Xuebing Du

Product Placement

tannertan36

@theartofmadeline
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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Today's Document
art blog(derogatory)

blake kathryn
Not today Justin
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

oozey mess

Kaledo Art

Origami Around
occasionally subtle
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@thearborealgirl
cc-videos:
[Harry Potter theme plays]
pizza-your-heart
me today
the only topic i am 100% a centrist about is cats vs dogs because they’re both good and theres no argument they both love you so dont fight
that was no accident, ronald.
I can’t believe this is actually canon.
Build-a-Bear Employee: please,,, I can’t fit any more stuffing into this pikachu
Me: You fool….. Make Him Fatter
i worked at build-a-bear in downtown disney and one time a guest came with a grinch and had me force 6 custom sounds into him which was just him breathing really hard and saying “MERRY CHRISTMAS” into each one the thing is, he had me stuff them into the arms, which were stick-thin so the seams were coming up and i was having to repair his now lumpy grinchy arms this took like 45 minutes and all the while the kid was legit trying to remove my kneecaps, his mom was even telling me that she warned someone this would happen and they sent her straight to me ROFLMAO after he was stuffed to the brim and i could hear the soul of the plush screaming at me for what would be the next eternity the kid dressed him up like batman but his mom was like “NO HE HAS TO BE CHRISTMAS” so he put a santa hat on him and also a little plush gingerbread that smelled like actual gingerbread and it ended up looking like this
i clocked out an hour and a half late it was like 1 am
if mark hamill ever talked about me like this id fucking kill myself
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other.
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”
This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay” says the lawyer, “your turn.”
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?” The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?” Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Yooooooooooo now THIS is the kind of blonde jokes I’m about
straight dude poets are so easy and fun to make fun of
she had stars in her eyes
and planets in her nose
her boogies were asteroids
and when
she looked at me she looked at me like I was
Johnny cash
and touched me like I was johnny cage
she looked at the sun and
I
went blind
and when she get naked my pee pee go up
big time peener when I see the boobie
and
she smelled like cigaregrettes and caprisun
like my English teacher
and left my heart
like a broken thing
she was my queen and
I was
her queens toilet
because I was the royal flush.
and she was the queen
sweet.
You Are Going To Have So Much Success In 2018 (pass it on)
idea: bath bombs but when they r done doing a fizzle, there’s a tiny sea monster/creature instead of the prizes they sometimes do
ive never even used or eaten a bath bomb before thank you so much
Imagine showing this video to someone 6 months ago
Imagine showing this video to someone 1 year ago
oh my god.
This would literally be a closing shot in Black Mirror
what a time to be alive
yeah its called good versus evil which r…diametrically opposed to each other? but something something opposites attract hetero bullshit i guess
The Incredibles. 🤗