sorry your boyfriend died in a barfight, on some nameless backwater asteroid . yeah, after countless lifetimes of carving through every sensation its possible to feel, he was stabbed clean through the heart, and this time, for some reason, it stuck. yeah and when he realized what happened, he laughed for the first time in a millennia . witnesses said that they've never before seen someone so viciously excited to die. sorry
sorry your partner died, drunk as a skunk at the very end of time. yeah they were cast forward by a freak accident, and they watched as the stars winked out, and then they lit a cigar, the last point of illumination in the universe, and dropped the match into the gasoline as a final fuck you.
sorry your girlfriend's research became monotonous and her observations dull, she decided to partake in one final experiment. yeah she took a fragment of the ship once known as aurora, and she casted herself into that black hole. yeah beyond the event horizon there, maybe to die, maybe to learn something new one last time.
sorry your boyfriend felt the end coming for a while . his aim wandered by nanometers and his explosions seemed somewhat... lacklustre. yeah and he returned to a planet that he'd been saving up for a very special occasion . yeah the one that built the largest gunship existence would ever see . and he went on a final rampage . stars shattered at the thunder of his guns until, at last, he crashed into a space station. yeah sorry he wasnt wearing his seatbelt.
sorry your girlfriend tried to retire, and spent her final centuries on a small library planet with those books that meant so much to her . yeah unfortunately, the library did what they are so prone to and burnt in a pointless war . and she fell launching an escape pod piled high with ancient texts that scholars said were actually... quite a dull read.
sorry your boyfriend always approached the concept of immortality with a little bit more skepticism than the rest of them, so his end came as less of a surprise. yeah one day, at something of a loose end, he decided to check on the octokittens . unfortunately, the purring horde hadnt been fed in ... many decades , and devoured him . head to toe . in 11.7 seconds . at least, by my watch.
sorry your boyfriend missed his first beat, he knew exactly what it meant . he considered briefly the fire and bloodshed on his compatriots , but in the end the only thing that felt right was to complete the cycle . and he casted himself into the void . yeah his body will float there forever, far beyond the warmth of any stars .
sorry your partner, of course, well... it was never real to begin with . and, when all its friends were finally gone, it decided to stop pretending.