I noticed the date on this laptop charger just now at work while I’m waiting for some emails to come through. 2023. 09. September 2023. That was the time I was writing my undergrad thesis. My thesis partner and I were working on a dataset to find the relationship between regional gini coefficient and regional minimum wage. We were supposed to run a panel regression since we were planning to interpret the data from the 70’s to 2023. I was so lost. I wasn’t aware that our runs would be statistically insignificant and we had to do three major revisions for our thesis: change the topic including the whole dataset, change the dataset year, and change the variable of interest.
My graduation got delayed by a sem. I still have to complete two classes: thesis and law econ. My parents were asking me of my plans when I graduate in January the next year. I just told them, “I’ll try my best. I’ll apply to Econ grad school, UP Law, and some banks for employment.” Being delayed was so depressing. I kept on comparing myself to my classmates who graduated in July that year. “If not for my CRS enlistment bad luck (or perhaps, budget cut), if not for that urban econ prof declining my request to waitlist on her class, if not for that econometrics forced drop, if not for my mental illness, I would’ve graduated on time…” I had a lot to blame, but in the end I just chose to accept that things don’t always end as planned and it’s not the end of the world if the worst I could expect had happened. There were times I didn’t want to come to class anymore because the ride from Bulacan to QC is so tiring, and for what? For an hour and a half lecture thrice a week? I was bumping Hev Abi songs to cope. There was no single day I didn’t listen to Hev Abi’s entire discography. I know, it sounds so unserious hahaha. Unironically, it helped me because upon listening to some of his lyrics, some things don’t make sense. Then a realization dawned on me, “Maybe some things don’t need to make sense. I vibe what I vibe to.” Just like that, being delayed became a phase of respite and reflection to me, while still listening to Hev Abi, of course. Though it took me a while to accept that I would not graduate on time, I just reminded myself that everything will work out for the best. Things will fall into places and there is no rush. I will take my time.
Funny enough, I spent my whole 2024 figuring out what I wanted to do. Prepared my application to different banks and had some offers, reviewed for UP LAE and passed, and worked on my requirements for Econ grad school and also got accepted. I tried grad school for a sem just to realize that it is not my time yet for this kind of commitment. By then, my employment already was delayed by a sem and almost a year. I was frustrated more than I used to be in the previous year. Who wouldn’t be? I kept on being rerouted and rerouted. So I applied to a lot of jobs on LinkedIn, resume-blasted, spammed a lot of employers with my application. “Please. I badly need this! I need to have a job before the year ends. The clock is ticking!” I was ugly-crying every night and lowballing myself left and right but still to no avail, I was also “we regret to inform you”-blasted.
Thankfully, the universe knew I shouldn’t settle for less. I had a job offer from a Big 4 US bank and the compensation exceeded my expectation (I was really THAT desperate). Now, I am almost six months into this work. I just finished my account for this month that’s due end of July. Just like how I struggled yet enjoyed the beauty of writing my thesis, I couldn’t ask for a better job. I love writing! This is a different one though — underwriting. Every day, I am learning and thanking my manager, for giving me a chance to prove myself even though I never had any internship experience, my parents, for never giving up on me and encouraging me to push myself beyond my limits (true A+sian parents hahaha), and the universe, the supreme overseer, the divine power, for acknowledging that the grit and determination in me will always be in my core, wherever I go and whatever I do.
09. 2023. September 2023.
I never even knew this niche job exists but the laptop and the charger were already waiting for me.
- Ali | July 17, 2025 | 5:59 PM
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