@theartofmadeline
shark vs the universe
PR's Tumblrdome
Sade Olutola
Origami Around
Noah Kahan
No title available
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
cherry valley forever
Cosmic Funnies
gracie abrams
No title available
tannertan36
bliss lane
No title available
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Game Changer & Make Some Noise
blake kathryn
seen from United Kingdom
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seen from Paraguay
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@thebirdsthebeestheotps
If I see one more post saying 'good job UK' about us 'picking' Boris Johnson to be PM I'm gonna' scream
THIS WASN'T A GENERAL ELECTION, THIS WAS THE CONSERVATIVE POLITICIANS PICKING WHO THEY WANTED TO RUN THEIR PARTY & SUBSEQUENTLY BECOME PM.
WE. DIDN'T. PICK. HIM.
I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
Not mine but I'm losing my fucking mind over this
adult person: life gets faster as you get older!
me aged 10: sounds fake but ok
me now:
When Crowley learns to enjoy food (a consequence of living with Aziraphale), Aziraphale blesses the food he wants to save for himself so Crowley will burn a little if he tries to touch it.
Like, Aziraphale is happily reading a book when he hears a hiss in the kitchen.
"Did you attempt to steal my muffin, dear?"
...
"No..."
Aziraphale:”How do you cope with your trauma?”
Crowley:”The trick is to play Queen music louder than your thoughts”
Aziraphale & Crowley: Supernatural entities that have existed for over 6000 years
Also them:
jesus christ imagine working in a literal subterranean vermin infested basement mould growing out every hole working your ass off to convince priests to have a wank in the hopes of not being fed to giant dogs and then ms crowley walks in looking like That moving her hips like she wants jebediah to milk a different cow tonight and announces that she’s redesigned a motorway and then disappears to get a mocha frap and her nails done. i’d hate her too.
me, reaching into my dresser drawer for black pants: I hope this isn’t the pair with big holes worn in the inner thighs
Marie Kondo, gently over my shoulder: why is a pair of pants you find unwearable still in your dresser drawer
me: oh shit that’s right!! The dresser is for clothes that under some circumstance I might conceivably wear!!
Marie Kondo, beaming proudly: Yes, that’s correct!! These pants must have been your favorites. How wonderful that they were so comfortable and practical that you wore them out. But now since they no longer function as pants, you should move them from the drawer where you keep your functioning pants!
me: Yes thanks I got it they’re in the fabric basket now
Marie Kondo, fading back into the darkness: I love what you’ve done with the kitchen!!
The notion of KonMari as some creepy semi-embodied but entirely benevolent spirit, like a well-intentioned Bloody Mary, is so perfect and wonderful.
Marie Kondo has the same powers but the exact opposite energy of the Duolingo Owl.
YES.
Marie Kondo: Your room isn’t very clean, but that’s okay, I love mess! Does this spark joy?
Duolingo Owl: I wrote the ransom note in Spanish, and if you have to use Google Translate to read it, your kid gets it. You broke your streak. I’ll break your neck.
Marie Kondo holding your child, while standing on the remains of the Duolingo Owl : The Bird did not spark joy
Yikes
Nobody is lgbt. None of us.
the exclusionists have won. They’ve excluded everyone. My god.
captain hook: arrrg i miss vine. twas me fav’rit app
smee: but capn! there’s a new app! its not exactly the same but it’s very similar!
captain hook: what’s it called?
smee: um
Anyone can play a princess. Anyone who says otherwise has a small imagination.
Photographer: Lily Andrui
Models: Vidal Francisco and Danae Kristine
look at these gorgeous people!!!
Crowley’s gender is yes, Aziraphale’s is no
same energy
clearing out my camera roll 5/?
If pocket knives aren't for getting a little gay with your friends in the woods, then explain why most of them have nail files on them.
The nail file isn’t actually a nail file but instead a file for sharpening tools.
it’s a nail file you homophobe
At this point there’s no excuse for a baby boomer to be technologically incompetent anymore. It’s just willful ignorance, this shit is not fucking hard
“why is it asking for a password” because you’re logging into something martha, that’s how it’s been for the last 20 fucking years
“how do i do [x] can you show me” no dale you can Google it like the rest of us. it requires one exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works. your generation was smart enough to cause a total economic collapse out of malice but not smart enough to type in a few words I guess
“im just not tech savvy” no you just refuse to learn because like in most things you are stuck in your ways
the worst part is after you help an old fuck with some sort of tech bullshit 9 times out of 10 they’ll give you some kind of bullshit passive aggressive thank-you
like “oh i guess you young people have to know something about those phones you’re always on, huh?”
give me a fucking break gretchen i have depression from living in the economy you created and my phone is more of a reprieve than dealing with your stubborn inconsiderate ass
AND ANOTHER THING that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely fuck things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened
what do you mean you set your phone to japanese on accident, phil? there’s like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there
“i think it’s because i got a virus” no greg it’s not a virus, the only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated grandchildren
i just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can’t figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions in front of them
