The Boss Logs

My boss is an adult who runs a company.

[thebosslogs]

10:39 Ante Meridiem

My boss just walked back and forth in froth of my desk doing the Nazi march and salute three times in a row. I have never worked harder to ignore someone. 

[thebosslogs]

11:21 Ante Meridiem

My boss is holding a company-wide meeting this afternoon. I overhear him discussing it with another coworker. He says, "I'm just going to level with you. I don't really care who all shows up, as long as someone brings cookies. Someone needs to make sure there are cookies." 

[thebosslogs]

10:36 Ante Meridiem

My boss walked into work this morning, sat down at his desk and then yelled out, "Who were knows anything about trout?" 

[thebosslogs]

1:36 Post Meridiem

My boss is regaling a coworker with a story about how he stood up to a client. He's been talking for the past thirteen minutes and my coworker's eyes look so vacant that she could pass as a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's. 

[thebosslogs]

5:09 Post Meridiem

My boss just offered me what he called "salmon candy." It was just salmon in a plastic bag. I can't tell if he's joking or if he just calls salmon "salmon candy" and offers it to people in a plastic bag. I am confused. 

[thebosslogs]

3:19 Post Meridiem

My boss just strolled up to a coworker and said, "So you're in work mode over here, huh?" When she replied that she was, my boss talked at her for five minutes about football. 

[thebosslogs]

10:43 Ante Meridiem

I just asked the owner of this business, my boss, whether or not I could get on the company's health insurance during open enrollment. He says, "Shit, I guess so. I don't know anything about that. Just talk to Sarah." 

I don't know who Sarah is. 

[thebosslogs]

10:19 Ante Meridiem

In the middle of our business meeting, my boss picks up his phone and after a minute, says, "Naw man, we ain't got nothing going on right now.Get your ass over here, let's hang out."

After he hangs up, he looks at me. Finally I say, "So, should I just go?"

He says, "Yeah that'd probably be best." 

[thebosslogs]

4:12 Post Meridiem

Well, it's past four. Quittin' time for the bossman.

[thebosslogs]

1:34 Post Meridiem

It took all of fifteen minutes for my boss to get to work this afternoon and interrupt a business meeting. He has now changed the topic of the meeting from the cost of a new business acquisition to the music of this band we may or may not have heard of called "Tool."  

[thebosslogs]

4:07 Post Meridiem

My boss just emailed me from the road: 

"Have you ever heard of Gangsta Grass? This stuff is amazing." 

[thebosslogs]

3:25 Post Meridiem

My boss has begun playing the music of Dolly Parton. Loudly. 

[thebosslogs]

3:40 Post Meridiem

Quittin' time for the head hancho. 

[thebosslogs]

9:14 Ante Meridiem

My boss decided that today would be a good day for him to bring an Angry Birds plush toy and throw it at his employees when they weren't looking. He is the only one who thinks it's funny. 

[thebosslogs]

2:33 Post Meridiem

My boss just walked up to me at my desk and said, "Damn government." Then he walked away. 

[thebosslogs]

11:24 Ante Meridiem

He's still doing it. 

[thebosslogs]

11:22 Ante Meridiem

My boss is staring at his desk. There is nothing on it.