The Butterfly Effect

The caos of my thoughts, feelings, and other stuff.

[thebutterflyeffectz]

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The black sheep

I've known for some time now that I'm not like everybody else, not in a way that makes me feel better than others, not in a way that makes me feel superior.. no no, not like that. In a way where I don't fit in, in a way where I actually doubt my place in this world. I doubt if my place really is here or if I wasn't even meant for this world. Maybe I'm born in the wrong time, I'm not the first one to have that thought.. People don't understand me, and while it's easy to point the fingers at others and say they're the issue.. Well, maybe they're not. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just the black sheep. The one who stands out in a way that becomes too much, too much in an otherwise diverse pack. Great philosophers argue there's a limit to what we as humans can tolerate.. Just maybe I am beyond that limit, maybe I am in fact intolerable.

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True love

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There ought to be something very special about the boundary conditions of the universe. And what can be more special than that there is no boundary... There should be no boundaries to human endeavor. We are all different. However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. While there's life, there is hope.

Stephen Hawking

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Memories

I’m sitting here thinking about where it all went wrong.. You and me, we used to golden. We were unseperable, lately we’ve become seperable...

I honestly never thought this would happen to you and me, nor did I ever think you would change the way you did.. How I wish you hadn’t change like you did. Maybe I changed.. Perhaps it wasn’t you, maybe it was just a matter of me realizing the real you.

Were you like this all along? Did I only just realize.. I don’t know, might never know. I suppose it doesn’t really matter, we are no longer a we.

[quote-diaries]

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.” — Kim Culbertson

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You ask me “why are you always there for me?” well. it is quite simple to me. You see, I love you. 

Love isn’t about only being there in good times, love isn’t conditioned.

Love isn’t about when it suits me, when it is only good times. Love is not about only being there when I gain or benefit from it.

Love is in sickness, and in health. It is fighting through the tough times together. It is about trying, it is about not just giving up at the first hardships.

Love is unconditional, and it isn’t unconditional if I only love you when you are okay, when you are feeling great, whenever it suits me to love you.

I realize sometimes you can give everything, and it still won’t work, That is just the way it is, but it isn’t love if you are only willing to invest when it suits you.

[quote-diaries]

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

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One of those nights...

It’s one of those nights.. One of those nights, where I can’t sleep, I am awake. Yet my mind is tired, in a way already sleeping.  Trying to block out all the negativity, awake but not really woke. I can feel it failing, as my body and mind tire, so does my strength. I sit in the dark, trying not to feel the pain.

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Start believing in yourself. Then you can go get the life you want, be whoever you want, do whatever you want. You can live.

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Somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!

Rocky Balboa

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The reality of promises

In the eyes of a child your word is law. You tell them: “you can get dessert after dinner”, you haven’t made a promise you just tell them yet they seem to think it has been promised them, and if you go back on your word they’ll become distraught.

As children we think people mean what they say, and when they say something it true, we believe that it happens because we’ve been told so. No distrust, no suspicions. Then, well then we grow older. We experience being lied to, we experience being hurt. Slowly learn that not everyone or everything can be trusted. Words doesn’t equal action or promise.

I doubt most people think about this on a daily basis, but just think that once there was a time where you believed every single word you were ever told. In a way it is quite sad to think about that purity, and innocence being gone. At the same time, the world can be unforgiving, and isn’t it better to be prepared so we can deal with it, as opposed to being blindsided every time?

We don’t have to expect the worst, we can stay hopeful, however that doesn’t mean we can’t be prepared for when things go wrong.

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I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright.

Stephen King

[va103]

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What a wonderful world we live in.

[itsbulimicdyingtobeskinnyagain]

“I became a walking chaos. Full of emotional baggage, poisonous thoughts and a destroyed body. But most of all, a mind that has been completely damaged.”

—

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My favorite place in the entire world is in your arms. Home. Home is in your arms.

[music-and-quotes]

“You can’t expect me to be fine, I don’t expect you to care.“ - Maroon 5