Where the Love Light Gleams
For the Holiday Buzzfeed Creations Challenge. I am on vacation so I’m unable to post the whole work until after break which would make my submission void. I will update later but for now please enjoy this small excerpt! :)
Ryan breathed the words into smoke in the frigid air of the cobblestone street. He stumbled forward clumsily, taken in wonder of the sight of a thousand fairy lights adorning the bare buildings. The stars twinkled faintly up above. The moon in its fullness went unnoticed.
Shane stayed behind him, rubbing his gloved hands furiously. “I know it was asking a lot of you to come here with me, especially of what this particular holiday meant.”
Ryan stilled, his head slowly lowering to face evenly forward. However, it was still to his back that Shane addressed. “I told you my future laid elsewhere, beyond Buzzfeed. And beyond our show- your show.”
Ryan’s breath hitched, audible in the silent passage. Similarly, Shane choked back the lump in his throat.
“It was always your show, Ryan,” he said, voice full of emotion that propelled him forward to the denim clad back. “You chose the locations, you chose the subjects-”
The accused man whirled around, eyes lined red with fury. “How dare you call this my show,” he growled. The lights overhead seemed to glow more brightly, as though drawing strength from his anger.
“I would never step into any fucking dusty, haunted ass corner of a fucking prison if it wasn’t for you.” He marched towards to Shane, his powerful steps appearing to rock the chandelier of lights illuminating his friend- his best friend, fuck the man he loves who’s leaving, leaving him.
He grasped the collar of Shane’s jacked and pulled forward, close that their noses brushed. Brown eyes met brown.
“I would never have done any of it- the show, the goddamn job, coming here with you and missing a tradition- if it wasn’t for you, asshole!”
He loosened his hold the man, panting with exertion. He had never really been a man of words, though he read a lengthy script often. He lifted his gaze to find Shane looking at him blankly. The man of words did not reply and so he continued.
“I’m glad you’ve planned a future for yourself,” Ryan gestured wearily around him,”and that you’ve finally made it back to your home.” Shane bristled but did not utter a word. “But I haven’t. Because as ridiculous- as irrational, as naive and shallow as it may sound? I thought my future was with you, laughing at my side. Possibly as I was getting dragged to hell by demons.”
“I support you, Shane. In whatever path you choose, but don’t draw this out as you’ve done this whole week. Rip my bandaid off quickly.” He laid his hands on Shane’s shoulders. “Please just spare me this one thing. I’ll let you go, physically and one day mentally. I support you, Shane because- because-”
Ryan choked, falling forward. His head landing in the crook of Shane’s neck and Shane briefly stumbled backwards but held them up. He attempted to unravel the Ryan’s grip on his sweater vest but to avail.
“Ryan,” he said, tenderly. He coaxed his chin up so Ryan could meet his gaze. Red, puffy brown eyes met his and snot ran all over his mouth. The fondness in Shane’s heart grew impossibly bigger and threatened to spill over. Emotion choked his thought process and he found himself opening and closing his mouth as if gasping for words that still did not come. The circle of lights above the spun dizzily, painting them in a blurred haze.
Finally, it was Ryan who spoke, as he surged for comfort at the crook of Shane’s neck once more.
“I heard you in the kitchen, please just stay a little longer. Don’t leave me now!” Then he sagged beneath his chin, all spirit leaving him except the slow shudders of silent sobs.
He clutched at the fabric. “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”
A gust blew through the passageway and clinked the glass bulbs together. Lean arms enveloped the despair-wracked frame.
A breathy chuckle, filled with smoke and fondness and tears.
“I’m sorry it took my large head so long.”
“But I promise you, that you have always been my home.”
Ryan had never claimed he was a man of words. He pulled the collar once more and connected their lips in the full magic of the twinkling festive lights.
