jonelias for your consideration: au where jon and elias are married pre-canon but no one knows (maybe jon doesn't like wearing a ring because of sensory reasons?) and the magnus institute is filled with smart but dumb people who don't connect elias bragging about his husband to jon. tim's heard way too much about how handsome and funny and intelligent his boss's husband is, he doesn't expect said husband to be his other boss.
OKAY OKAY THIS IS GOOD. There’s two directions we can go with this.
#1 is that they are purposely hiding their marriage, probably because Jon wants to; he’s a younger guy married to his boss, he was given a position he didn’t earn, etc etc, he doesn’t want their relationship to be tainted by how other people see it or think that Elias is playing favorites even though he totally is. So even though Elias brags about his amazing husband constantly, he never mentions Jon’s name, out of respect for Jon’s wishes. This would involve so much drama!!
The assistants (mostly Tim) trying to set Jon up on dates!
Martin flirting with Jon because he thinks he’s single!
Elias and Jon sharing longing looks during work because they just want to be affectionate!
The Institute gossip mill going wild because of the way Elias pressed his hand to Jon’s lower back and leaned in so close during the last sponsorship gala!
Clandestine hook-ups in the supplies closet!
Someone seeing them kiss and assuming that Elias is cheating on his husband!
Jon’s turmoil from hiding his relationship from the people he loves and cares about and trusts!
Now, if #1 is a soap opera though, then #2 would be a romantic workplace comedy. #2 is that they are, in fact, very open about their relationship but their coworkers and friends are just too fucking oblivious to put the pieces together.
Jon carries his ring with him everywhere but hates wearing it on his finger because of sensory issues and instead, it hangs on a chain underneath his shirt so no one realizes it’s there and matches the one Elias wears.
Elias just loves pet names so much that, even though he corners his employees specifically just to brag about his amazing husband, he never once mentions Jon’s actual name. It’s all “my darling” and “my beloved” and “my dear” and a whole bunch of other cheesy bullshit. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he just wants everyone to know how much he loves Jon.
They always go to work and leave work together but because they both have such important positions and they’re so dedicated to their jobs, they’re always the first people to arrive and the last to leave. No one knows that they do so at the same time.
They are very affectionate at work, but that affection is wildly misinterpreted by other people. Jon’s way of showing love is basically by nagging and worrying and being snippy and sarcastic, so they all just think he’s being a dick to his boss who is just oh so patient with his incredibly difficult employee. On the other hand, Elias is TOUCHY. He’s always putting his hands on Jon, leaning in close, invading his personal space, and everyone thinks that he’s sexually harassing the poor archivist who is too scared and embarrassed to say anything. HR gets like 7 reports about his behavior on a daily basis.
They kiss at work, but only quick pecks because anything else is inappropriate unless it’s in a closet or one of the quieter parts of Artifact Storage. This leads to fun shenanigans where they somehow only kiss when no one is looking and when people who do see, it happens so fast that they’re convinced they were imagining it.
They always go to Institute events together but because they were both invited as important members of the Institute, no one realizes that they’re there together.
Jon is 100% convinced that everyone knows about their relationship. Elias knows about the confusion but thinks it’s hysterical.
Rosie knows. Rosie always knows.
OKAY BUT WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS I REALIZED IT COULD BE A MILLION TIMES FUNNIER WITH LONELY EYES + JON??? BECAUSE IF EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT PETER THEN THAT WOULD JUST TAKE THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND SHENANIGANS TO A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL. POOR ELIAS HAS BEEN ABANDONED BY HIS HUSBAND WHO’S AT SEA SO OFTEN, BUT THAT’S NO EXCUSE FOR HIM TO HAVE A PASSIONATE AFFAIR WITH ANOTHER MAN. JON, YOU HOME WRECKING WHORE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
I am just absolutely delighted by this, if you couldn’t tell.
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