House of Jules II

var sc_project=10977091; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="af58582c"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write(""); I was just nowhere near your neighborhood.

[bugshroom]

my mind palace is not up to code

[thecasaofjulesie2]

I’m simmering (“seething” is too strong of a word and “feeling” is not strong enough) with jealousy over something SO, SO STUPID and POINTLESS that I won’t even speak it out loud or text about it to anyone I actually know (that’s how stupid it is), and unless this maddening feeling passes in the next few days, this might be the thing that actually gets me to find a new therapist.

[0meadow-deactivated20200602]

[thejunesky]

@thecasaofjulesie2

[chainmail-butch]

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

[stood-onthecliffside]

[hermywolf]

everyone: hey can we slut you out in various videos and ads

hudson williams: yeah sure just make sure the bisexual vibes are insane

[thecasaofjulesie2]

I am much too literal to be on the receiving end of an out of the blue text like this from an old, close (100% platonic) college friend, even if it is the most beautiful thing anyone has said to me in a very long time.

[hottestroadkill]

i think chris flemings is one of the only comedians thats going to get into heaven

[thecasaofjulesie2]

Mentally, I am here.

[freenowrightnow]

shane: since our rookie season

ilya: i didn’t set up an ad campaign with the two of us together, call you pretty, tease you in the shower, and then almost get caught by your mom in the elevator for you to get our anniversary wrong. since summer before, shane

[thecasaofjulesie2]

I watched Heated Rivalry over 2 weeks ago and the absolute chokehold it’s had on me since then.

——

I typed this out several weeks ago and then saved it to drafts, but also am still rewatching this show. Crying my eyes out in certain scenes (no spoilers from me) that still happen even on the rewatches feels cathartic every time. So does the exhilaration from watching other scenes.

About 7 years ago, I worked hard to fully de-center (straight) men and untangle myself from the want of any of them in a romantic way, purposely tamping out the long held hope for someone with integrity who was emotionally available & with a mutual attraction, which was seemingly impossible to find anyway. And as someone whose close to top skill was yearning for an authentically healthy, committed adult relationship, the mental peace from that hard-to-accomplish mindset shift to de-center it has been remarkable & life-changing.

No mixed signals. No games from men who view women as toys or objects. No energy spent on any of it. The peace. The peace. The peace. Grateful for it daily.

This show, however, has reminded me what it feels like to have that intense, deep longing & overwhelming desire for something more for myself through a relationship with a good man, and the serotonin/adrenaline surges, joy & partnered work that come along with all of that.

The feelings I’ve been feeling since watching the show are awakening & addicting! But rewatching it 100 times is just what I keep doing since I still have no need to put any energy into seeking it out for real, because history has shown it for me to always be at best disappointing and at worst legitimately, unspeakably traumatic.

Keeping my hard-earned mental peace while also getting a second-hand thrill from Heated Rivalry is doing it for me. For now, anyway.

[isitsafe]

[googledocsdyke]

the immigrant law centre of minnesota is providing free counsel to people who are currently detained. msp mag has a longer list of rent relief & mutual aid funds to donate to. ice violence is only going to escalate from here; if you're not in the twin cities and have the means please consider supporting from afar 💗

[thecasaofjulesie2]

Me to myself, looking closely in the mirror as I floss before a dental appt after I very unfortunately broke a molar biting down in exactly the wrong way on a hidden nut chunk in a cookie a couple wks ago: “I need to get some whitening strips, it’s been about 6 years since I’ve done anything like that and my teeth are starting to look yellow.”

My dentist, matching my tooth color for a crown after they got the temporary one in this morning: “Your teeth are so white!

Me:, trying to talk with her fingers in my mouth “Weawlly?!”

Her: “Yes, they’re A1.”

—-

Do you know how quickly I googled the tooth color chart to see for myself where A1 is on the tooth shade guide? As soon as I got in my car.

[thecasaofjulesie2]

Going through a box I have of ephemera and keepsake cards, things I bought to frame or just hang eventually, and found a normal amount of hot dog/bratwurst garlands (three) all bought at separate times.

As you do.

[feluka]

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

[evaughn]