The Cat I Don´t Even Have

For the people who understand the title...

[thecatidontevenhave]

My ideal world wouldn't have murders disappear, instead it would include someone murdering ME

[thecatidontevenhave]

When transphobic people say "you are not male, you were born with a vagina... so you can't expect people to call you a boy because genetically you are not and biologically... It's wrong!" So, if you adopt a kid: "you are not his/her mother, don't say you are their mother, you didn't give birth to them. So don't expect people to see you as their mother because genetically you are not and biologically... It's wrong!" No, it's not... You can't tell me what to be

[thecatidontevenhave]

My uncle died I'm not sad for him I'm jealous Why do you get to die? Why does everyone get to die but me? Why not me?

[thecatidontevenhave]

Am I the only One who finds the whole ceremony when someone dies stupid? Mass, a whole deal to burry a corpse in the ground, flowers, prayer, strict dress code, moment of silence... Bullshit When I die just wrap my corpse in newspaper and throw it somewhere. Use yellow, black, flower patterns, 666 stamp, white, pink, purple, Batman, Satan... I'm dead, I don't give a fuck Don't pray for my soul. I never had one anyways.

[thecatidontevenhave]

Mood report:

Right now I just hate the world.

And self-loathing has taken me deep..

I hate myself and everything I am.

I regret absolutely everything I have ever done, did, do, am doing, and been. No matter what.

I’m ashamed of my past, even the parts of my childhood that were “happy” or whatever.

And I really don’t want to be in this world anymore.

Besides, I should just stop bothering already.

I’m already making it worse for everyone else.

[thecatidontevenhave]

I have this weird facial “tick” I do automatically everytime someone makes eye contact with me.

Well, it didn’t use to be that way. I used to do that on purpose years ago as a way to say “I’m fine” with my eyes, when I really wasn’t. I did that so my family would think I was just “being funny”; so they wouldn’t suspect anything was wrong; so they wouldn’t ask any questions, and of course, so they would stop staring at me and I could stop faking it.

Now it has become a part of my behavior, I do that with absolutely everyone and I’m not always aware of it. I do that a lil bit too much, but it works... oh well

[thecatidontevenhave]

When you preach me on your binary/hetero shit on how LGBT+ people are going to hell... blah blah so we have to stop it...

Sorry but unlike you I DO take my relationship seriously. I’m not going to let a random someone I don’t even know to decide who should I be like or who should I be with for the rest of my life

[thecatidontevenhave]

“Of course I’m kidding! lol”

*holds tears*

[sincerely-mh]

• every day •

[thecatidontevenhave]

“Of course I’m kidding! lol” *holds tears*

[rottenbutrecovering]

“who hurt you?” Would you like the list in alphabetical or chronological order?

[thecatidontevenhave]

When someone asks casually: So, tell me something you regret

And you are like: Uhmm... does being born count?

[thecatidontevenhave]

I hate my birthday

I hate having to force a smile Pretending to be happy Pretending I give a shit about your wishes Being forced to see people Hugs Getting Attention Celebration Cheers all around when I'm not happy Everyone cares more about MY birthday than me Every year? This does not make me happy! I don't give a shit! I couldn't care less! Your wishes won't make anything any better Gifts mean nothing I was born, I know, and I wish I wasn't. Don't make a big deal out of it. Stop it

[thecatidontevenhave]

Best birthday gift

Please no one celebrate me... No phone calls, no texts, no Facebook, no hugs, no cheers, no wishes that don't mean shit! No attention!

[thecatidontevenhave]

Birthday tomorrow... So tonight I feel like taking some extra sleeping pills at least so tomorrow I don't wake up until friends come over (forced myself to plan something before someone else would). I don't want to face any extra "celebration"

[thecatidontevenhave]

"Happy Birthday"

Hopefully the last one Maybe 21 years are more than enough

[girlfromthe-subway]

[thecatidontevenhave]

I dont wanna wake up tomorrow, I hate my birthday