loved

Ella • 19 • PH bibliophile | free-spirited | brave soul | paradox more about me? ________ Links Diary Thoughts Photos Books Reblogs Q & A Elsewhere ________ Currently Reading The Beginning of Everything by Robyn Schneider

[thecinderebel]

I don’t even know how to explain what am I feeling.

I am so lost; self-doubt is slowly taking every pieces of me. So slow that it hurts so much. I keep on telling myself that it is okay, failures won’t define who I am. But I guess it did, it made me realize that I am such a weak person who can’t handle the disappointments, the challenges, the struggles, everything.

These thoughts are slowly killing me on the inside. I am tired of crying so hard, thinking I am not enough, that everything I do is not enough.

I am so sad, I can’t even be happy for the person I love the most.

[thecinderebel]

(c)

[missensabatico-deactivated20250]

[thecinderebel]

Have you ever been so, so annoyed that you just ended up crying?

Have you ever just gotten enough of things that you bursted out the tears you didn’t know were coming?

It’s hard, I know.

[averagefairy]

sometimes i hear songs i liked in middle school and i’m like…. how did i possibly relate to this as a 12 year old. who was hurting me so bad that secondhand serenade made sense to me

[thecinderebel]

I'm forever grateful for my family 💖

[quotemadness]

At night I read and write, and things I have never understood become clear.

Annie Dillard (via quotemadness)

[thecinderebel]

Life lately…

We had our family outing at Nagcarlan, Laguna last May 21. The water falls was everything and the nature gave too much feels! I also met some of my high school classmates last May 23 and we had our food trip!!! From SM North to Maginhawa Street to UP Town Center. That day was filled with so much food, and laughter hahaha! Also, we had our outing this weekend yayyy!!!

And the highlight of this post is my 19th birthday last May 25! I spent it with my family and my love, Biboy, at Makati. I am really and truly blessed and grateful for 19 wonderful years God has given me. TYL!!!

[fallinhisarms-deactivated201907]

But I’m worthless.” “Worthless? My darling, you yourself are a poem breathed into existence by the God of the universe.

(via raininggrace)

[thecinderebel]

...& forever 💓 I miss you, my love!

[thecinderebel]

New haircut! Yay! My friends keep on asking me why did I cut my hair short again, well I don't know either. Haha! Maybe because it's summer? And I am really not used to having long hair. Ever since I was a kid, I always had my hair cut short. Maybe that is why I am not comfortable with long hair. Although I want to try and told myself to let it grow for once, I always end up cutting it. Haha! Have a happy weekend everyone!

[thecinderebel]

To cities and mountains and valleys and all the oceans you’ve never explored 🌍

[yunggshawtyyx]

You gotta love her on her bad days when she’s moody and irritated just as much as you love her when everything is going well.

[thecinderebel]

Sorry for being weak. Sorry for being fragile. Sorry if I'm so emotional. Most of the time, I just cannot handle the sadness. Sorry, sorry.

[thecinderebel]

Wondering what should I do for the rest of my summer vacation. I still have less than four months before school starts again and I don’t have any idea what to do. My parents did not allow me to have a summer job (huhu). Well, still thinking about going to some workshops or something. Oh, life.

[thecinderebel]

Weekend well-spent! This has been the best weekend of my summer so far. Spent three days with my whole family + Biboy. Yayyy!!! He came here last Friday, which was also our fourth monthsary. At last, after twelve long days of not seeing each other, we’ve been together again. And yes, for three days. I’m beyond happy!!! Those have been tough twelve days (yes haha I missed him so much). He was supposed to go home that day too, but because of me being so emotional and not wanting him to go home (yes I cried like a baby) and him being sick (huhu), he did not go. So yup, he stayed and slept that night at our house. It’s not his first time to sleep at our house, there have been many times, so it’s fine with my parents. My sisters also came home that night, too. One big happy family! Biboy went home last Saturday. Before going, my sisters asked him if he was available on Sunday because we’re going to the mall, and he said yes sure (although he’s not that sure enough hahaha). They’ve been close to him ever since, and I’m so glad. Because my sisters are “very” hard to please, yes. My parents are also very okay with him. I can feel that they really like him. My whole family likes him. It’s unusual for them to approve someone and like them that much, that’s why I’m so happy. We went to Marquee Mall yesterday to unwind. We should’ve watched a movie, but the kiddos, Samsam and Chenchen, are with us that’s why we decided not to go. I told Biboy that we’ll just watch some other time (just the both of us hihi). We strolled and had some food trips and took pictures; the same things we do when we go out. I am very blessed to have such great family, and boyfriend. Couldn’t ask for more. Thank You, Lord!

[thecinderebel]

“One day, you’ll find someone who cares enough to read you. Someone who knows that you’re not perfect but treats you as if you’re the most perfect woman in the world. Someone who’ll understand you when you’re turning into a green monster when you’re jealous. Someone who’ll make continual efforts just to show you that he/she really loves you. Someone who’ll remember little details about you. Someone who can’t stand not talking to you or can’t stay mad at you for so long. Someone who’ll understand you when no words are spoken. Someone who’ll understand that some nights you have to stay up until you finish a book and, when you finally do crawl into bed, will simply ask “Did you finish the book, love? Did it end well?”. Someone who’ll never compare you to any other woman. Someone who’ll still think you’re beautiful in the morning (even with that dragon breath haha). Someone you can open up to what you feel. Someone who checks up on you often to see if you’re okay and doing fine. Someone who’ll answer all your questions; why you’ve been hurt before, why did someone leave you, reject you and made you cry. Someone who’ll stay even though you push him/her away, who will change your “I hate everyone” mood into something better. Someone who will find you and never leave you. Someone’s out there. Just wait. There’s no need to look for that someone or to rush into things. You will meet this person. Your twin flame. You will meet someone who’s worth it. There’s somebody out there for you. If you find that someone, don’t ever let her/him go. People like that are hard to find nowadays.” - (c)

Glad that I have waited and have found mine, and I’m glad that it is you Biboy. Thank you for everything. I love you so much. I won’t ever let you go.