Motherhood.
...is interesting, rewarding, painful, emotional, embarrassing, amazing, loving, crazy, draining, confusing, and I could probably continue for 10 minutes.
I've been a mom for about two weeks now and I can honestly say it is quite the ride. I've laughed, cried, cried while laughing, and laughed because I was crying. Its very confusing. The highs are high and the lows.. Well, low.
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I started the previous draft when I had been a mom for just two weeks. Reading this now just brings me back to that time and reminds me just how much of a whirlwind these last 5months have been.
Yes, motherhood is all those things I mentioned but all in all.. he makes it absolutely awesome. My kid has a pretty dope personality. He's happy almost all the time unless he's hungry, then he's just plain hangry. You wanna be upset sometimes because he's fighting his sleep or spit up on a shirt you JUST laundered or had a blowout diaper on the BED and now you gotta change what used to be fresh sheets; but you just can't. One look at that tiny little face that so much resembles my husband and it makes it all worth it. We still can't believe that we made such a perfect little human. I'm so incredibly grateful that I am his mama. 🥰
This time has also shown me a lot about myself and my relationship with my husband. I've learned that I in fact can do a lot on my own but it doesn't make me weak to ask for help. I've learned that my husband and I make a great team and we are constantly there for each other, no matter how tired either of us may be. I've learned to appreciate my husband as a father, and how much sexier it makes him. I've learned to be exponentially more patient with both my husband and my son. And somehow I've become less patient with others; I have no time for things that do not serve me. #sorrynotsorry
I've learned that people will show you if they're there for you - believe them when they do. The pandemic made things so weird for everyone. Everyone became distant, myself included, detached almost; we were all dealing with such unique situations as a whole that it was such a unique time in history and we just didn't know how to be. We were forced to distance ourselves from friends and family alike, while needing each other even more. We became scared of being in crowds and amongst others altogether; living in an actual nightmare at times with the president from hell.
It's now a year later and we are still going through some of the struggles that this pandemic has brought upon us. My family has recently been affected and its a very real and scary situation. My strength as a person, woman, and mom has been recently tested and I am surprised at how well I am dealing. I think as a mom you give yourself certain moments to freak out then you're like, "ok, get it together, this tiny human is counting on you." It can get overwhelming but to be honest motherhood feels so natural to me that its almost like second nature. I'm grateful that my own mother showed me the perfect example of what an awesome mother can be.
It's a common misconception that women have to be martyrs in order to be good mothers. That should stop now. Yes, there's a lot that you need to compromise in order to create an environment where your child can thrive and be happy in, that doesn't mean that you can't also be happy and enjoy it. There's going to be times where you get frustrated or are tired and don't want to deal, but seeing that little face look up at you in awe and smile literally makes it all worth it. Yes, its hard and draining, and you devote 90% of your time to worrying about them - but there should be balance. You CAN shower, shave, dye your hair, and get made up without feeling guilty. You also realize that they are brand new to this world, they have no idea what they're doing here, they just live in the moment. Its fascinating watching them learn through curiosity and explore the world with fresh eyes. We can learn so much from them if we just stop for a second and pay attention.
Until next time.. Over and Out. ✌🏼