Cocaine Crabs from Outerspace

16+ - read pinned byf

[thecocainecrabs]

Welcome!

If you know my main usernames good on you, please don't mention it I don't want to lead the middle schoolers who follow me via those usernames to this account

General content warnings for this blog:

- drug/alchohol talk (not me taking it, for medical reasons I will die)

- sex/suggestive jokes

- generally things I'd prefer not to post or reblog on main

I may sometimes just post normal stuff, it depends

16+ only and strictly, age may increase as I age

My username is a reference to the no-budget horror-comedy movie "Cocaine Crabs From Outer Space" (2022) by Chuck Magee, no relation to anything I do I just find it funny, watch it

endos/supporters, proship, harmful para, and mental illness demonizers DNI

#crabbed is my talking tag

#recrab is my reblog tag

#crabwork is my creative tag

[elliespectacular]

Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.

[funnier-when-objectum]

"object head"? 😳 i mean if you say so...

[giragirameganedan]

dreamt that itch.io released their own special adaptable accessible super thin flexible silicon game controller called the Butterfly you could also fuck (they packaged each one with lube and toy cleaner) but there was no specific obvious way you were supposed to fuck it they encouraged everyone to find their own special unique way to fuck it. and they ran these ads for it that were different people from all walks of life saying what they do with it . sunburned rural dad who folds it hotdog style and jacks off into it. biracial masc lesbian with undercut who tribs with the joystick. young amputee in wheelchair who lets it vibrate on his lap while he works on his novel. etc. beautiful supermodel woman whos like "and me? i just game. hard." it ended with them all triumphantly saying into the camera "and thats how *I* fuck #MyButterfly"

[thecocainecrabs]

kinks and fetishes are WAYYYY too villainized, who gives a fuck if someone gets off to inflation, who does it hurt?

[twinktorturer]

the most sexual emotion a man can feel is fear

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[feralratbitesu]

[tatangadragon]

water sports should be for adults too.me and the blokes at university should be allowed to shoot eachother with water guns

[tatangadragon]

post cancelled I've been told the term i used already exists in english and that it means something Very Much Different. english is a wicked language that i regret learning

[soundandcolor]

[cosmicanger]

[395nm]

let’s go strip mining. i found an ore vein! take off your shirt!

[pr3ydriv3]

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

[livingdead-system-deactivated20]

Why would you hide this in the comments

[f1r3-h0se]

should I jerk off or cry

[marbelo-and-mapel]

both king, never listen to the haters

[justanotherjaykist]

I’m sorry. Please don’t eat me alive for this.

[solvatochrome]

What are your thoughts on ballbusting?!

well tumblr user kickedinthenuts i have a strange feeling there's a particular answer you are hoping to receive here

[electricjoy272]

Based on that one Jaiden Animations frame