let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
if i look back, i am lost
RMH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Stranger Things
Cosmic Funnies
NASA
Andulka
Product Placement
wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Kaledo Art
Claire Keane
Discoholic 🪩
untitled
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@thecomplaingingmermaid
Not to be edgy but like....
if I live long enough,
My goal is to be those cute goth girls. Who wear all dark, listen to the music, be into horror, the macabre and so sure of death but are still so happy.
I want to be into those things and just be happy.
God I'm such a complainer...I just want something to myself. I don't mind sharing everything else but you are so fucking good at everything and I'm so insecure. I just want this dumb little app to myself. I just want the dumb little app to make embarrassing music videos but I know you'll be pick the same songs as me... and that you'll do a better job than me. So I guess if you do start using it. I'll just delete my videos and watch from the sidelines like I do everything else
I feel sad. I told you it was okay and it partly is...but now I feel ugly...or like you are hiding something....this is the 4th time we agreed to have sex and while you were already we stopped. If you aren't feeling it I won't make you. And it's something for us to share to me so I won't let you do it to me because then I fear you thinks it's a chore to have sex with me....its been over a month since we have....I know you feel bad...because I consoled you when I said it was okay. I don't want you to feel pressured into doing it. But I feel selfish like I really really need it. But I love you so we won't...my hand isn't the same. I think I'll wallow in my ugly sadness. But I hope you feel better genuinely.
I want breathe. I feel like I'm dying or choking and my chest is heavy. What you said to me is truth but I don't want to hear it. I'm afraid. You said you resent me. So I'm afraid we won't be together
What you said really hurt my feelings and you can never take it back now....I don't want you to think of me that way.....
is it stupid that I'm so jealous that I don't have parents like you? A mom that supports you and parents that pay all your bills still and buy you clothes that you need?
I know ridiculous but I'm jealous that you are getting clothes. I need know clothes so bad...
no really it's okay...you are probably just drunk...im sure you're super drunk when you shouldn't be drinking and you haven't responded to me in hours however I fucking bet 100 dollars that you are still talking to him. I bet you fucking called him to tell him how much you love him right? because that's the only thing you do when drunk. you tell him how much you love him and then flirt with your ex.....meanwhile I miss my fucking family. I wish I could be with my brother and dad just for a little bit I would give so much
but that's not going to happen...so I am stupid sitting here fucking crying wishing I could fucking kill myself because I'm so sad an lonely and just needed you to talk to.....
I am an idiot. this is like the 6th time they have suggested it in these almost 4 years of being together.... I'm an idiot making then nervous because I can't keep to myself. If I'm worried I should stop. I don't need to post it or say it because they don't need to know if it doesn't have to do with them. it was a dream and now I've made things worse. I'm fine it's fine don't be worries you aren't going to break up....this isn't the last year....
I wish you would text me. I don't like being the one to write first and then you don't keep up the conversation. it's been over 24 hours and you haven't messaged me back at all.
I can't compare. Your art is so cute and everyone loves it. I sell art for a living and no one buys, you only post that you sell art whenever you want and people swarm you. I should stop drawing.
not done ranting yet. I'm also having a body crisis. I'm so fat and ugly and jiggly and I can't stand it. My skin is gross, my head gross, my weight gross. so just want to shred it all up. change entirely what I look like. I'm trying not to self harm because I haven't done that in a really really long time. So I just wrote a bunch if ugly bad words on myself. So now I am hoping a little that my s/o just won't come over so I won't have to bother them and they won't possibly see the markings on me. Ah fuck me.
Here we go again today
I'm probably being really dramatic even though I don't personally feel I am. I have cried on 2 times for far today. I'm extremely depressed today I think. I set a goal for weight loss to try and fit into my costumes again but hey we all know I'm not going to make it. I tried fixing my wigs and ended up getting frustrated so there was the first cry, as well sell I tried to fix other parts of my cosplay but they seem unable to be fixed so I guess I'll go fuck myself. then my s/o text me first today I was happy for a moment. But as usual I'm greedy and needy and o just want to see them. I just want to cuddle and kiss and them to just let me bitch and cry. However I wouldn't bitch and cry and let them know how I really feel because I'm a piece of shit. then I put them in a bad mood because I'm being difficult. I don't want to see them for only a few hours. That's too fast time goes too fast around them. I want them to stay the night but I'm sure they wouldn't want to. they are probably fed up with me and can't stand to be with me for that long. But here I am persisting.
alright merry fucking Christmas. I'm still sad isn't that just great? Cried 3 times today. Also I lost my wallet, my entire life was in there and now I can't get it back. Not without money or having to have other people help me. Thanks whatever asshole took it from the parking lot. Also I was forced to go to church and not dress "like a hoe" according to my mom. Therefore I couldn't sleep all night and it just didn't feel like Christmas this year. Thanks today.
I'm such a shit. I want to stop. Just stop. I don't want to be anymore. I'm here because I have to be. and it sucks. I want to stop being depressed. I want to stop being sad all the time. I don't want people to tell me that I look bitchy or unapprochable
I feel like shit. I'm always anxious being around people. I don't know how to learn to deal with people. I can't fucking breathe. and you help me feel better and calm down and I was expressing to you a concern and a hypothetical and you tell me that if I leave this job to go home if I have to that that means the end of our relationship. It makes me cry and hurts my heart that something like that could break us.
I'm afraid....that my life is going to turn into the last 5 years...but I don't think I'll ever mention it out loud....i know keeping feelings and shit in is bad but I don't want to ruin your mood.
