I have not been on this blog for a very long time. I'm on mobile now, but if I was on my computer, I could grab the exact date. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm not okay. So many things have happened between the beginning of the year and today, the last day of July. I left my job late last year but I remember getting some exercise every now and then. In February, I got a job. It was great at first, but it didn't last. It made me very depressed. Problems at home added up and I have gone to very dark places since. Tomorrow, it's the beginning of a new month and I want to start over. I want to do this again. In 2013, I managed to lose more or less 20 lbs in the span of a few months. I went on a diet and ate as clean as possible. I guess these past months, I haven't been good to myself. I gained so much weight, I'm scared to see what I weigh tomorrow. At the beginning of the year, I was 178. I just know I'm probably 190 now and it sucks to feel this way. I have not been motivated and I feel like my depression and anxiety is slowly sucking the life out of me. My jeans don't fit anymore. I don't feel good in my clothes anymore. I'm hitting rock bottom and I want to get out of here. I want to be healthier. I want to hear people say that I've lost weight. I want them to say I look better. And I really wish I had a suppprt group. It's difficult. I'm hoping to find inspiration in this blog again and start writing again. God help me make the better choices for myself. Help me be healthy again.
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