Fire was all that he saw. It was an all consuming conflagration and called to him like a death filled beacon. He could still see the burning body parts at the center and even with the full knowledge that to reach out and grab a small, charred limb would mean pain and possibly death, he had to have something. He couldn’t just stand there and watch, content to see her body reduced to ash. Whatever she had done to him, it was nothing compared to seeing her like this. He had hated what she did to him, he endured the years of abuse in silence while wishing one day the nightmare would end —but he never wanted her dead, never wanted her body desecrated.
But before he could do anything, before he could even reach into the flames, he was pulled away. Two muscular arms were gripping him and holding him back, holding him so that the only thing he could do was watch her body burn. The memory of that sight would be seared into his memory for the rest of his life, along with the smell of burning flesh. And the one who caused it all wasn’t even the one gripping him, but himself. It was all because of Kyle that Alicia Spencer’s body burned tonight.
Spun around, Kyle was forced away from the fire and into the sight of a murderer, a murderer by his own making. Hands which had surely been used to slice apart their mother was holding him closely by the face. Even an attempt to turn away, to look back at the burning pit was halted. Yet he didn’t want to look into Tate’s eyes. He was too terrified of what might be seen. For as evil as his mother had been, he had been there, right there with her to watch the light leave from her eyes. As for Tate…he was scared that there would be no light left, and Kyle didn’t want to see his brother in that way.
❝It’s going to be okay?❞ His words came out strained, as if the warm air had taken away his breath. ❝You killed our mom, Tate!❞ The yell was loud and fierce, one that would destroy any attempt to cover up the fire if someone happened to be listening. ❝You can’t just burn a body and think everything will be okay.❞ Just the mere inkling of the thought that Tate thought everything would work out just grand sent him laughing hysterically. ❝Is that what you thought? Just cut up the body, chuck it in the fire, and we’re good? You killed a person. You killed our mom.❞ Regardless of how many times Kyle said it, the statement alone felt insane to think about. Why couldn’t he have just stopped his mother like he said he would? Even in this fit of rapidly climbing hysteria, he still knew that this night, the night that changed their entire lives…it was all purely on him. All the blame could be traced back to Kyle, Kyle and his lack of action.
❝We’re teenagers, Tate! Our mom knows people. Sure a bunch of them thought she was shit, but what do you thinks going to happen when she never shows up to her job? What about when the school calls and need to talk to her? You think our neighbors aren’t going to notice that only two people live here now? Or what about this fire?❞ His one good arm waved behind him towards the flames. ❝Sorry officer, just wanted to cook a bit of s’mores with our dead mother as kindling. We’ll put it out right away.❞ The final words came out at a croak as his mouth dried up further than before. Coughing as he took a step back, Kyle tried to breathe in to calm himself, but as the mania left, the depression came roaring back to fill every crevice within his chest.
❝This is crazy. This is all crazy.❞ As the tears returned, Kyle shook his head. Just that short burst of energy and yelling left him tired. Everything inside him hurt. His chest burned and his throat felt as if it were clawed from the inside out. His broken arm still hung limp, the cast starting to weigh him down as his energy dissolved. Even if he had never wanted to admit it to himself, he had become the foundation for the family after their dad left, striving to be responsible. He may have seen Tate as irresponsible and rash at times, but that was his brother and he did anything he could to clean up after his twin. Now Tate had tried to clean up after him and the situation just got that much worse andout of control. Out of his control.
He only had to tell her to stop, to say he didn’t want her in there. Then they could still be a family. They could forget about their shameful past and live normally, or as normally as it was possible for the Spencers. But normal was gone without a trace and for as absolutely terrified as he was that his brother might be too far gone, Tate was all he had. With the anger dissipating, he stepped towards his brother and pulled him into an embrace. They were fucked, more than he could ever dream of, but he couldn’t lose his brother too.
The weight of his brother’s words, pulled at the boys soul. Tapping into the humanity that was so SILENCED through all this. Sure she was a BITCH and she deserved to die, but Kyle was right, he put him and KYLE in danger and that in itself had him terrified of the future. he boy promised safety, PLANNED safety-- he wants nothing more then to just END this and go back, sure maybe they could have ran away-- maybe turned her in ANYTHING else! Tate’s impulse has once again done nothing but hurt those people he loves most. Teeth grit as his Brother’s anger and truth subside into his soul his being and remorse becomes too much. He has failed Kyle--- he’s failed it all!
Strong hands lift from his Brother--- he isn’t worthy of touching him or even looking at the light that he has so willfully KILLED. How will Kyle ever recover?! And if he doesn’t how will Tate ever live with the guilt? The answer as simple he WOULDN’T, he’s a coward and a stickler for taking the EASY way out. In his dark fuck up eyes he truly thought he did what was right for Kyle, that they WOULD be happy and finally Tate could help pick up the pieces like Kyle had for so long with him. Kyle deserves a Brother that makes him happy, a life WORTH living! And what did he give him? GRIEF and despair!
Those hands that once tore their Mother limb from limb into the flames found their way into tousled blonde locks as he pulls. Tears are streaming down his cheeks as he gasps with gentle words against his actions, or the repercussions--- “no--- NO!” He won’t believe it, he CAN’T believe it! His brother goes off on a tangent of what they would say or what people would do, “it won’t! This will be good! K-Kyle!” He is lying through his teeth, hoping to stop the pain, the ACHE in his dark soulless heart.
Put out the fire! God someone hit rewind, take that look off his Brother’s face! He can’t handle it! What would he do if that light diminished to nothing, if that harsh bite to Kyle’s scared words became a daily thing?! Disgust would ring in every comment about Tate, but he was just trying to protect Kyle. He couldn’t bear one more moment with their Mother bossing him around and treating him like her--- SLAVE! He wasn’t a slave! He is an angel among demons and Tate is the demon straight at the center bidding him to fall whilst wishing he never does!
“Why--- why did I do this?!” His words are caught with tears and stutters his orbs never looking to Kyle, he was unworthy of his gaze or any kind of help to his emotions. He deserved his brother’s anger. He deserved it all, “go! Go quick! I’ll only hurt you!” He cant bear the thought, Kyle is his weakness. The only person in this whole WICKED world that he loves more then life itself and here he will give that up. “It was me, not you. Il take the blame--- just. GO!” He isn’t taking no for an answer, and he never will.
Teeth grit as hands lift to push Kyle back gently but enough to knock him out of his stance. He’s right there is only a matter of time till they are caught and Tate will go down easily if he knows that Kyle gets out of this in one piece. He is ruined already-- terrible and the epitome of DARKNESS, even with his brother’s angelic light he will never change, but he might taint that light. He never will allow such--- “There’s no TIME Kyle! You’re right! I FUCKED up! Please. Just. GO!”
dailybridgerton
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