Violence is a Cleansing Force

So say the violent thoughts in my head at night

[thedevilinmydreams]

Here’s an opinion I heard off tiktok that I really liked.

We’re looking at the insurrection the wrong way. It’s not that the capitol was stormed that was upsetting. If the election was truly stolen away from a legitimate and beneficial leader (like in many countries they often are), then a storming of the capitol is not only understandable, it’s warranted. What was treacherous about the insurrection was that they were trying to overthrow a legitimate election and secure the place of a borderline fascist dictator, while promoting other bigoted policies like Nazism, White Supremacy, and whatever the fuck Qanon stand for. 

[hydro-homies]

Got hydrated so hard 💦

[hydro-homies]

Happens to the best of us

[thedevilinmydreams]

What people tell me when I’m sad/upset/angry:

“Theres nothing you can do about it. So stop crying over it.”

Bitch you cry over movies all the time get the fuck outta here. 

Im sad because I cant do anything about it, stupid. Don’t fucking tell me if there’s a point to my emotions. They don’t need to be valid in your eyes

[thedevilinmydreams]

I love how everything that gave trump power is exactly what brought him down. His supporters. Social media. The Republican party controlling congress. Corporations. Banks. 

[thedevilinmydreams]

A message to that friend I haven’t texted in agesssss.

I know, I know. I’m literally the worst at texting. I can go an entire month without texting my friends. And I get that from your point of view I’m trying to ignore you or I don’t care enough or something. 

But here’s the thing right. I swear I think about you all the time. I have the will to text you but for some reason I don’t. I’ve always wondered why I’m so bad, so I have some theories:

1. I’ve realised I stop keeping in touch with people when I have periods of high anxiety or OCD. It’s probably because I try my hardest to distract myself in these times and talking to someone would force me back to reality. To confront my past mistakes or give me flashbacks. 

2. My maladaptive daydreaming definitely doesn’t help. If I imagine my closest friends and family in my daydreams, then what need would there be for real life people? I can have all the happy conversations, activities and experiences without actually needing to have a social life. It’s so frustrating cos I can never snap out of it.

3. I have this amazing superpower in which I come away from a perfectly good conversation or gathering and convince myself that I acted rudely or that it went horribly wrong. Like wtf. I’m so annoyed at myself but my brain just goes there. I suppose not getting in touch with you is my way of avoiding inevitable anxiety.

Whatever the reason, you should know that my keeping in touch does not reflect how much you mean to me. I love you. I’m just real shit at showing it <3

[reveuse-compulsive]

Here a quick explanation about the “maladaptive daydreaming disorder” in a not so perfect infographic. All the informations are based on what I’ve read so far on tumblr, some articles and about my own experience. 

[thedevilinmydreams]

About My Blog

My mind is an intelligent, creative, but incredibly painful place to be in. I needed an outlet that didn't involve me talking someone's ear off, but at the same time gave me an opportunity to connect and interact with like-minded and open-minded people. I want to outline what my blog might primarily discuss, so you’re not confused by my beautiful chaos. I spend every minute of the real world avoiding judgement. This is a space for me to escape that and be myself. So let's remember that when I say feel free to message me if you’re interested or curious about any of the topics I’m going to discussed!

Maladaptive Daydreaming

I have a severe case of maladaptive daydreaming. I get vivid and complex daydreams that consume most of my day. They started as coping mechanisms, but can sometimes shift into dark, violent and sexually explicit daydreams which cause me a lot of distress. But honestly, it's the only way I've ever known how to think. I suppose I'm going to use this blog to share my experience with MDD. I guess this is also my attempt at seeing if debriefing my daydreams and anxieties can help me reduce my addiction to daydreaming. I'll let you know how that goes. If you experience, relate to, or are generally curious about this aspect, feel free to message me!

Politics

In this obnoxious, highly partisan, and deeply flawed system of politics that we all inevitably engage in, I'm here to provide my unsolicited and probably unwanted two cents to the conversation. I'm a fairly young adult, so be aware that my opinions are constantly evolving. I'm also very open to conversation supporting or contradicting my views, unless you're a bigot. Then fuck off.  

Mental Health

It's come to my attention that there exists more people who suffer from mental health issues than we could possibly comprehend. And even if you don't, everyone has a point in their life in which they are prisoners to their mind in some way. (I'm assuming...) I want to share my experience with anxiety, depression, MDD, OCD, and anger issues. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fun, kind and incredibly passionate person. But this blog reveals a dark side to me that would normally be socially awkward or unacceptable to discuss. I'm most likely going to discuss my experience, helpful tips, and research about mental health that fascinate me.