#mdd

[ghoulbat666]

daily matt walst

day 147

[cottoncandyhexes]

[ghoulbat666]

daily matt walst

day 144

[sweet-nothing26]

I sit here as I ponder on what made me utterly avoidant of my life, and how I always make sure to spend every waking minute trying to escape myself. I can trace the roots of that behavior way back into my chilldhood. It was a way for me to cope with my loneliness and feeling like no one was there for me as a young kid. Yet here I am, a decade and a half later, daydreaming my life away, as it’s still one of my most prominent vices.

It’s a weird thing, you know, my awareness of all of my inner problems and their origins, yet being completely stagnant and unable to move towards healing and building a future for myself. I feel paralyzed. I am paralyzed by fear and uncertainty.

I sit and wonder if my life is even worth it? Is it worth it to search for a personal spark that helps me push forward, when all I feel is pain? Is it worth it to move forward when a dagger is stuck so deep in my chest, making me overly aware of that stabbing sensation? Or do we move forward solely because we’re driven by our love for our families and friends, sparing them the mental torment of us taking the « easy » way out.

What if a part of me, deep down, knows what I’m made for in this world, my spark, fuel, ultimate end goal, yet, is unable to put in any effort, as I have zero motivation, and I’m just damaged beyond repair.

People are built different, some have a thicker skin, they can’t be easily broken by life’s chaos, whilst others present a biological vulnerability that makes more susceptible to mental damage, and I believe I’m the latter.

I have always been an adamant believer in the philosophy of creating one’s own meaning. I think it’s beautiful and inspirational in a way. Looking at those who are determined to move forward, to live up to their full potential. Fighting for a cause they so vehemently believe in. It’s honestly so incredible. What if those people balance things out in this lifetime, make this world a better place.

[katkattitude]

What theme do we all have on tumblr?

I saw a purple one and I like purple…soooo that’s the one I chose? Is there a better one?

Kinda new to this, only got this bc of coworkers (mainly kutner)

-Kat!!

[melissatheshowgirl]

Can you list some signs of depression?

Hello!! Yes I can ❤️ you can also reach out to me to vent anytime ❤️

These are the most common signs of major depressive disorder

Feeling sad, empty or hopeless all of the time

Common angry outbursts, always being frustrated or irritated; even over something small like a joke

Not having interest or pleasure in normal activities (includes hobbies, sports, sexual intercourse etc)

Disordered sleep, insomnia or sleeping too much. Either way it's not healthy

Lack of energy, the easiest tasks being too hard to do

Reduced appetite, weight loss out of nowhere OR increased cravings for food and weight gain

Being anxious, agitated or feeling restless

Slowed thinking

Feeling worthless or guilty, being obsessed with your past failures or mistakes and blaming yourself

Having trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things

Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death/suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts

Physical problems that you have no idea where it came from (unexplained back pain, neck pain etc)

I got these off my notes 🥹

If these things are happening to you or a loved one, please get to a psychiatrist. Depression is not something to not take seriously.

[bjdz]

urchin (left), kandi (middle), and minnow (right)!

[countingstar-s]

I probably don’t talk enough about the fact that when my mom got home after I tried to kill myself by taking over 40 prescription pills, my immediate reaction was to try to apologize for not turning off the stove and burning the food.