About Lucifer and God

The lovers that went wrong.

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

Truth is that I still love Him. When I kissed Him the first time I didn't know what desire was, but the last time — oh, I wanted everything to stop because that kind of devotion was... Sad. Peter, it was so sad. I could tell you that He told me to convict Him, that I called him monster, and that yes, I cried and begged Him to set me free from all of this. How stupid I was: when you love someone you cannot be free. Peter, I need you to promise me one thing: You will protect Him. Promise me that you will do what I didn't. Remember that He can be the Child of God, but He is even the person that we love. He can be fragile but, please, be sure that the way he sees the world will never change. Not because he is innocent but because he can be cruel and terrible and this these are human things, Peter. To love Jesus is like having blood in your mouth and still be forced to kiss Him goodnight. It hurts but somehow, sometimes, He loves you back and for a second the ache stops - you know, you have to be a masochist for this kind of love. I am not giving up on him. I am giving you a chance to be there when I will not be there. So, please, love Jesus even for me

(Extract) Letter from Judas to Peter - The lovers that went wrong

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

My Dear, Once you asked me: “what is your deepest fear?”. A year ago I was sitting on my bed and suddenly I started crying. “God, please, help me”, I was screaming — because higher my voice and lower the voices. I was losing my mind and sometimes I was able to understand it. With time I learned that I am not scared to lose myself — I want that! I want to lose every single part of me! — but to be aware of it. The second question that you asked me was: “have you ever loved me?”. When I was praying God, He had your name. But then, the third question: “why have you leave me?” With you I had to be aware of myself.

The lovers that went wrong

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

I never touched His lips, not in the way that I was craving to — somehow He was always so distant and every kiss was less than a kiss and more like a cut. For me, it was a cut. And for me it was love. If you will call my name, Lucifer — Lucifer, will you even tell me that you still love me? That you are jealous? Will you kill the boy that now I love? Or will you leave me there, watching me while I kill every piece of him just because he reminds me of you? I wish I could kill you. Instead, here I am: waiting to cut him the way you have cut me. And I hate you because, even now, to hurt you I have to murder what I love.

Lucifer’s love - About Lucifer and God

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

I loved him even when he was unlovable. Not because he was beautiful, it certainly was that, but because when I was too eager to be a God he knew how to make me human — by loving me in return. He hated humans. Sometimes I think that even in that time his love was the purest form of hate. Now he is in love with one of them. I betrayed the dearest of mine because a God cannot be trusted: a pray will always remain only a pray. I guess that is my turn to desire to burn everything down. Can I kill one of my creatures? One of the kindest? Should I become like the one that I love or be who I am, losing what we were, what I was, what I will never be again — happy?

God’s jealousy - About Lucifer and God

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

He covers my mouth and ties my hands, discovers a sensitive spot and pushes there, first gently then cruelly. More cruelly. "Tell me what you need", He whispers into my ear and I know that this is his game and I am not sure if I want to play. "I will give you what you want", he continues but — what if I'm being tricked? I need him out of my head, out of my bed, but a thought is just a thought and I am craving for his touch on my skin, so I curve my back to met his hands and let his arousal glides into me. I should say no, but even in that case — would He understand? Even in that case, could I forgive myself? I can feel his hand travels on my belly, see the smirk on his lips and I am lying down, naked. I don't remember the last time that I let him done this to me but I remember the hate that I felt for myself. This should have been enough — at least enough to stop myself, to tell me that I can't, but I am not the powerful one here, I am just a puppet with awareness and sometimes I am happy with this condition — not this time. This is not enough and his knee tries and succeeds to open my legs. "I can show you the real you" and it is hard to compete with this, not because is something that I want, but because is something that I fear. And if I am like this, why should I oppose? Open my legs is not the difficult part, not even look into his eyes while He approaches my inner thighs, leaving a trail of kisses near to my cock. In the end I know how I should play. What I don't know is if He remembers that I love him. Can you adore someone and then turns him into your toy? Can you be happy with this? He continues kisses every spot there, never touching anything else, it's not necessary. I can't move, I don't want to. "This, you see — This is why I adore you, Lucifer", a breath follows his words and I can recognize lust in his eyes. Who can blame a sin, if not a person that knows so well how simple it is to fall for it? I adore him too, but I adore even myself, and I swear I try to say no but it doesn't matter what I want if He knows exactly what I really desire, does it? My back arches again: my cock in his mouth is what I was craving, my lips are dry and I really need to say his name. It would make him happy, it would make him win. I can't do this. I prefer the silence, telling to myself that I lost.

About Lucifer and God, I part - sex

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

“Lance”, Keith was whispering under his breath, “Lance, please, wake up”, and every second was an hour, “wake up”, and was that a tear? “Oh, little boy, you do not have to cry for someone else”, he remembered those words and maybe his mother was saying that to him when he was younger, “Oh, little boy, you have to be very strong because the world can be so awful, but you have those eyes, you have that heart, my love, you will be so far away from every war, you will be so safe.” “Lance, why do not you wake up ...?”, a plea from his mouth, and this was it, this was war. This was war. He was no longer safe — He realized. And then he mourned and he cried and, for the first time, the world was awful even when he was cuddling him. He was in war and the war had just won.

The lovers that went wrong - Lance and Keith

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

Forget the sound of your laugh makes me remember the sound of mine. Today - well, I can forgive myself, today.

The lovers that went wrong

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

This will be a letter in my defense, so if you are going to read it be sure to be ready. Here you will not find any excuse for your behavior, no “it was my fault too”, no “I am sorry”, no “I was wrong”. Because I was not. What if I really hate you? Have I ever loved you? I hate you and I am the one left here, the one that is crying for someone that would have murdered with his own hands. Because you were scary, because when I found you on the ground you were holding your head asking me to make the monsters disappear. There were no monsters, just you and me. And in that moment I thought “I want to go away”. Maybe I was the monster. I will never apologize for this.

The lovers that went wrong - Lance and Keith

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

So if one day you will push yourself there, far away from me, please be sure that in that moment I will give you my back. This was what I was thinking to ask you, but I understand that you need to hurt me and you need to be the victorious one for once. I will not fight against it, even if now you are looking at that boy that is exactly like me. You realize it, and I can see your plan. Maybe this is what is wrong with me: I would like to see him tortured by you. How can a God be like me, I wonder. Then I remember “a God that falls in love claims to be human to deny himself from his responsibilities”. Will you pretend to love him like you love me, before you kill him? And he will love you, Oh, he will. Who would not? Who would be so unfair? They are all my creations, parts of me, and every me in every moment in every body will always crave your Chaos. And here, right here, there is the problem: can I be jealous of you? The executioner that wanted the victim entire after the head's cut, would he have been forgiven if he had sewed it again to the body? I could use my veins as threads and we could be together, but I have no veins and your head is lost.

About God and Lucifer

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

- I am sorry if now I cannot say something witty or sarcastic as always, but it would be a waste since, instead, I can be honest and we all know that for me honesty is terrifying.

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

The Devil will discuss his details and you will love the sin, so when he will lie to you you will know where the truth was, where the truth is - behind your teeth, down your spine, right into your throat, there where once you had accepted his cruelty for good.

About Lucifer and God

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

«Tell me a story» and your lips curve into a grin «where the one who loves the most» and then I ask for mercy «dies because this love will never be enough» and you are killing me, killing me.

The lovers that went wrong

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

When you call my name I feel the need to tilt my head and look at you but then you lay your hand upon my head, “do not”, and I want, I really want, to break the rule. Look at you, stare at you, do not be any less than you.

About Lucifer and God

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

All his whispers turned into “yes”. The son of God, now, was praying me for more. I was irresponsible. I was stupid, thoughtless, I was so blind and he was so bright. «I will never kill you, you know!» He was looking at me like nothing. «What I know, » and after a pause he reached my face with his fingers, caressing my skin like I was a child and maybe I was «is that you will be greater than everyone. You will sacrifice the man that clothes me.» In that moment he kissed me and our first kiss was like betrayal. (Our last one too.)

Gospel of Judas, The lovers that went wrong

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

His disgust was right under my skin and now I only have blood. Sometimes I miss his way to hate me - and his touch was mean but mine was too and there was no hero but two villains instead. Our disgrace was that we were happy and God does not forgive happiness. I do not blame him, I would not have forgiven us either.

The lovers that went wrong

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

I would like to tell you all the things that I do not miss about him but it would be a lie. Actually, it would be a lie even tell you that I do miss him but I have his kisses on my hips and down between my legs. There, there is where he always rested his lips and his tongue, so now, when I masturbate, I know where I can find the love of my life. Some people carry their loved ones inside their hearts. Mine is where is my cock and maybe, just maybe, it has his own sense. For us it was always about pleasure because love, oh, love is always about sacrifice. At least I can remember him with an orgasm instead of a heart attack and if something wet has to get out from my body surely is not a tear.

About Lucifer and God

[thedevilssideofthestory-blog]

Lucifer: Allow me to say, my King, that Oh! How great is your kingdom! So full of lies! Entertain yourself in what you call your throne! Please yourself there, do what once was a duty of mine: touch your skin, roughly and then gently, do it again and whisper Lucifer, Lucifer. Whisper what you want – Lucifer, Lucifer - and then realize that neither you can have what you want. I must confess that it hurts to realize that you are still marvelous, still not mine, never mine, not even yours, still a waste of beauty. God: Your pain was simple and I was terrified. I will tell you a secret: you cannot protect every simple thing. It is like a loss of innocence. And, sometimes, you have to grind what you want to preserve in order to keep it alive. I wanted you alive, even if not with me. Even if insane.

About Lucifer and God