Those That Are Paid To, But Don't
There she sits, idle in her car Hands gripping the steering wheel with rage and sadness She thinks back and blames Her parents, who tried the best they could But could only afford to make a proper meal once every month, two if it was a holiday. Every other day was something fast, and more importantly Something Cheap. The Clown, The Orphan, The King. These were the mascots of her own personal failure That now, as she sat in an underlying agony that she had learned to live with "A 3, I guess" She told the coat when pried about how much it hurt "A 3, but like, always" "When it's bad 9.. maybe 8?" The pain that she harbored detuned her to itself Detached her from the reality that the coat so brazenly declared A 0 is a normal amount to be in day to day Impossible, she thought to herself That everyone else's intestines didn't constantly ache, That everyone else's heart didn't sometimes worryingly beat heavy
for no apparent reason
Sometimes for the whole day, Impossible that it is normal to not be in pain She thought to herself After all, isn't that the common saying of the aged? They constantly moan on the soreness of backs, of legs and knees and necks Do they… Only complain when it happens? That they don't always feel that soreness That they are healthy 23 hours out of the day And only feel the pain for a brief, fleeting moment? And if that is so, why do they complain so always about it? If she, in pain forever, mentioned how harmed she always is, they would
Well.
They would tell her she should lose weight And back to the parent's the thoughts go How could they- her own parents! Force her to eat the fatty high caloric high sodium low nutrient diet of greasy fries, ugly burgers, deep fried chicken And all the things the girl loved to eat to this day For she too, was poor, and had little time And she too, only ever made an actual meal once A Week! She would think to herself Sometimes twice! She would justify that meant she was eating healthier But she had already been doomed By those that cared And those that at this moment- Those that are paid to, But don't.
