Wednesday, May 25, 2016 Day 197
When I think about some of the most significant milestones in my life, it is pretty remarkable to realize that I didn't face some kind of discrimination because I am disabled. Whether it be academic aspirations, job opportunities, social interactions, I'm sure I have been subjected to inaccurate assumptions or prejudices of some kind, but never out and out discrimination.
Perhaps this is why I was struck with both shock and anger when it happened when Andrew and I were attempting to adopt a puppy from a local non-profit organization. Another family was chosen, despite us having a personal recommendation from the organization’s founder, because the pup's foster mother (and final say) said she "had concerns about our ability to raise and care for the pup."
I was heartbroken. I was furious. And I was scared. I was worried that Andrew and I would continue to be passed over with other adoptive puppies, and our quest to add a fur-baby to our family would be full of more tears of sorrow than tears of joy.
Yes, it was the first time I truly had the experience of my life being directly impacted simply based on someone else’s false assumptions of my ability. In this case, the ability to raise a puppy. Even as I write this I feel a little silly complaining of such a hardship. I know Little People and people with disabilities have historically been unfairly and unjustly denied far more significant opportunities than getting a pet. For me, however, in that moment, not getting that puppy, was my everything. And really, when it comes down to it, discrimination is discrimination, regardless of the reason or circumstance. And it is wrong.
Alas, however, this story has a happy ending. Complete with a fluffy, loving, four-legged Golden Retriever puppy named Alton who joined our family a month later.
Of course I walked into that situation fresh with the apprehension from the rejection we had just experienced. But I just had to put that behind me and trust that the next family would be more open minded. Thankfully they were, in part, because they had personal experience with a family member who is disabled. When picking out a pup the litter's owners treated Andrew and I just like anyone else, just as it should be.
When I think deeper about the discrimination we faced, though, it was really the arrogance of the foster mom who rejected us that offends me. Who is she to make an assessment of my ability to care for a puppy and raise him into a dog? This paternal mindset is all too common from the non-disabled to the disabled. I don't need to be protected from my own fears about the limitations of raising a puppy that will grow into a dog nearly as tall as I am and weighing more.
Andrew and I have put a lot of thought and consideration into what animal would be best suited for our family, far beyond the little fur ball that he has been in the first weeks and months of life. But we came to the decision that we would address the challenge that two Little People raising a large breed dog will bring, and find our own solutions. In short, we'll figure it out.
And when you think about it that is a skill that we as Little People, and others with disabilities, have to be able to do on a daily basis. We learn to live in a world that is not made for us. But that does not mean we are not made for it. It just means that we are conditioned to “think outside of the box.” Whether it is choosing a career path, making an environmental adaptation, or even just choosing a family pet, I do say and will always say: no limits. There are no limits to creating the life that you desire for yourself. There are only the limits that you place upon yourself.
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Welcome to the daily writings of thedisabledcreative, where I merge two of my greatest passions: living creatively and being a proud disabled woman. But this isn’t all of me! If you believe in disability pride, and are interested in topics covering home life stuff and social progressivism, then check out my website at www.jodywritenow.com. Thanks for reading!
