Humans Are Weird (failed pack bonding edition)
So I've binge read hundreds of humans are weird, humans are space orcs, and Earth is space Australia posts, and so many have aliens suggesting a pet for the human to pack-bond with. But. What if the human were allergic?
TW: an animal gets injured in this, but survives and is fine.
The crew of the dully named Exploration Vessel 08121995 were equal parts excited and nervous when they heard a human would be joining them. Neither feeling has to be explained; humans' reputation precedes them.
To prepare, the crew purchased and read the definitive guide: How To Live and Work With One or More Humans.
They paid special attention to the section on "sleep", "eating habits", "attitudes towards danger", "social norms (with the attached warning that no two groups agreed on what these are)", and "pack-bonding". From that last section, they learned it is commonly advised to have a small, domesticated "cute" animal on board for the human to bond with.
Reading further, they learned that the popular options were cats and dogs. Reading even further, they decided a cat, which typically displayed more independence and less reliance on the human, was a better choice for an exploratory vehicle.
Human Amelia ("call me Amy, really") joined the crew with no small fanfare. She was introduced to her crewmates and shown around the ship, assigned duties, and discussed possible research. After some hours, they showed her to her assigned rooms for the nightly human "sleep ritual".
She entered with a cheery "see you in the morning".
The noises they heard after were confusing. They had placed the cat in the rooms as a surprise, and, having never met a human (or a cat) before, were not sure what to expect. However, the violent "achoo" sounds interspersed with "get AWAY from me!" did not seem like pack-bonding in progress.
Finally, Human Amy emerged from her rooms, holding the cat in one hand and pressing a piece of cloth over her nose and mouth with the other. The crew was alarmed to see her eyes were leaking, and those "achoo" sounds continued. Even more alarmingly, she was knocked back a bit by every one. In between these achoos, she said, "can someone take this?"
One of the crew, a many-armed four-legged alien from near Betelgeuse that most called Carl (his actual name unpronounceable to any species lacking four separate voice boxes), said, "but Amy, we learned humans keep small mammals as 'pets' to bond with".
Amy held the cat out a bit more insistently, and finally Carl took it. She explained, "yeah, many do, but some of us can't because we're allergic." Seeing the looks of confusion, she explained further what an allergy was.
The aliens were astounded. Humans kept these small mammals even though some of them couldn't be around them? Human bodies could so violently reject substances it made them sick? But that rejection was the system that made them so fucking hardy overworking itself?
The science officer and xir underlings made a note to study their new human further, with her permission.
Much discussion occurred regarding what to do with the cat. None of the aliens had bonded to it, and many were in favor of chucking it out of the trash chute. Amy protested that the cat didn't do anything to deserve that, but admitted that as she couldn't even help to care for it, her opinion probably shouldn't count. Still, she seemed bothered and upset by the suggestion to just kill the cat.
In the end, the cat stayed, mainly because not one member of the crew was willing to upset the human by killing the fuzzy nuisance. They agreed next time they stopped at a station to pass the cat along to someone else.
Several months in, most of the crew had forgotten there was a cat around and remembered only when it was their turn to care for it in some way. The science crew had ended up seeing it the most, as they were (non-invasively) studying it to learn more of terrestrian biology.
The accident happened in the science lab. Another experiment, one that had nothing to do with the cat, exploded suddenly, causing glass shards and bits of metal to go flying, setting off a chain reaction. The aliens evacuated quickly but forgot about the cat. When it was safe to enter, they found it alive but making a pitiful noise - and no wonder, one of the metal pieces flying had entered its eye.
Human Amy helped one of the medics remove the piece - and the eye. They fashioned it a little eyepatch and the cat seemed as well as ever.
Some of the crew despaired, though. Now that it was injured, no one else would want the cat, and while they didn't want to keep it past the next station, they also still didn't want to risk upsetting their human. One of the science crew, an alien who looked remarkably like a blob of jello come to life (her name was Zar-a-i-helot, most called her Zar) suggested that a museum, university, or zoo may be interested in the cat. While not in great condition, in this part of the galaxy, so far from Earth, academics would jump to study Terran biology.
They reached their next station an Earth month later, cat in two of Carl's arms (while Carl had not bonded with the cat, the cat had with him). A human walking down the street stopped and went, "awww, he's adorable. Or is it a she?"
Carl confessed ignorance to the cat's gender, and name, when asked next. He explained their human was allergic, and none of the rest of the crew had thought to name him.
"so what are you doing with him now?" the human asked.
"Donating him to a scientific group, we hope."
"I mean, if you don't want him, we'll take him. We don't have a pet right now and this little guy would be perfect".
He took the cat gently from Carl and said, "I think I'll call you Redbeard". The cat was indeed red, but had no "beard" (a term Carl had learned referred to hair on the lower part of the face). "Like a pirate, you know, cause of the missing eye".
Carl returned to his crew and professed amazement at the human pack-bonding instinct - they even bonded to imperfect beings eagerly.
The guidebooks were duly updated, especially after Amy explained, "well, I mean, an injured animal makes us even more protective."
