not a frequent user of social media. obsessively addicted to about four fandoms. ships rare or unfavoured pairings. oh, and suffers horribly from Writer's Disease. not hereditary, and completely incurable.
come chat with me about writing, dogs, cats, fandoms, baking, or...[static crackles]. I'm friendly and sarcastic 😉
(Also! I take fic requests...there's a link for my guidelines post in my intro)
okay, first of all, heya, and i'm "thedogbard" or "N". I'm socially awkward irl, someone who pretends to be an introvert to disguise my loneliness, and someone who is really good at random living-life shit and not so good at anything specific (like maths) (ugh).
i originally made a tumblr account to promote my fanfic magnum opus. so here it is:
But firstly I'd like to specify that I do NOT support JKR. I have owned the books for years, and before I got tumblr, in Sep 2025, I didn't actually know what she was doing. Almost all of the fanfic I've written was before that. Writing fanfic does not give the franchise profit, but it might give the author or reader a bit of happiness. Anyway, I'm trying not to write anything else for the HP/FB fandoms now, and I'm steering well clear of the HP show. I don't judge you if you're an HP fan as long as you don't support JKR, so please extend me the same courtesy.
December 1993. Newt Scamander appears in Hogwarts, clutching a battered suitcase, claiming to have just been duelling Grindelwald alongside Dumbledore - who’s now aged by sixty years.
Lord Voldemort is on the rise. Dementors surround the school. A Muggleborn Slytherin witch is fighting to find a place in the Wizarding World.
And, well, Newt’s just sort of there.
Fully completed: a Newt Scamander x original female character story, spanning the events of the HP books. Posted weekly on ao3, quotev, fanfic.net, and wattpad.
HERE is a link to the most amazing mood boards ever, made by @ninahufflepuff !! There's literally no words in the English language that describe how good they are or how thrilled I am about them!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH-
I'm an incurable writer. Original stuff, fanfics, all kinds of sh*t. I also love reading, dogs, animals in general, baking, walking, and laughing at the random stuff my brain comes up with. I also have controversial ships. Live and let live, please.
Fandoms I'm in or love: Skulduggery Pleasant, Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts, Lockwood & Co, Dr Strange (movies), Sherlock BBC (also ACD Sherlock, Mary Russell series, and Elementary), Day of the Jackal, The Aeronauts, Little Women...and possibly more? I've read all the Riordan books...
Individual books I love (and their fandoms): Jane Eyre, Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Villette, Shirley, (or anything by the Brontes), Emily's Ghost, The Blue Castle, Knights of the Borrowed Dark trilogy, The Lost World and The Poison Belt, I Capture The Castle, Little Women, and many more I can't think of right now. Little-kid-me demands that I also add A Little Princess and Coral Island to this list...
Music I love: Roxette, Taylor Swift, Adele, Emeli Sande, Enya, Dua Lipa, and some other select songs, like Money Run Low by The Score.
Songs I can't stop listening to that might well be a part of my DNA by now: Haunted, Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, Listen To Your Heart, Anywhere Is, Getaway Car (my no.1 spotify wrapped this year, and i'm not ashamed), I Knew You Were Trouble, Seven Wonders, The Look, This Love, Wonderland, There's Nothing Holding Me Back, Blow Your Mind, The Wind and a bunch more. If you're a Swiftie, DM me your favourites. Let's agree and argue and have fun!
I am so emotionally mature for my age that I've been told I have the soul of a pensioner. It was a compliment and I'm taking it as such.
In one country I am tall, decent-looking, and socially funny. In another I'm average-heighted, average-looking, and averagely-funny. Which is weird for my esteem and opinion of myself. Whatever.
I'm not a very ambitious person. My great dream in life is to be an author. I'm also funny, weirdly knowledgeable about niche things, and addicted to chocolate. (It's becoming a problem).
Send me asks or interact! I'll send asks or interact in return - or random asks whenever I'm bored. I love meeting new people. Whoever, whatever you are, just so long as you're not a...Think of all the worst kinds of people. If you're not one of 'em, then hang out with me.
@the-archivist-system is my beloved adopted sibling and one of my best friends 🐾 They're the only one who gets to call me Logios, because of this post!!✨️
Thank you to @dramatic1nlyf for this amazing moodboard!!!!
(right at the bottom, in uncertain small print...): if you want you can request a fic. Here's my "guideline" post.
Oh and I'm adding these posts here so I can never lose them because OHMYGOSH
AFJAFSGHHDAF THANK YOU @skeletal-spire-man-aka-overfit this literally made my YEAR
okay wait - @catastrophiccblues I'm also saving this here because it's too good to ever lose ✨️
And lastly, here are song lyrics from songs that have stuck to me like glue, arranged to tell a vaguely coherent story.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
You’ve got the words to change a nation but you’re biting your tongue
Something keeps me holding on to nothing
Who can say where the road goes, where the day flows?
And you know it’s never simple, never easy
Wasn’t it beautiful, running wild till you fell asleep?
I’m only one, but not alone, my finest day is yet unknown
You go there, you're gone forever, I go there, I'll lose my way
God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be
I attend Christmas parties from outside
It’s all fun and games til somebody loses their mind
There’s no comfort in the truth, pain is all that you’ll find
I held that grudge till it tore me apart
It’s the first time, the last time, we ever met
It's no surprise I turned you in, 'cause us traitors never win
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes
And now they’ve broken you like they’ve broken me, but a shattered glass is a lot more sharp
And if I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too
I pass it and lose track of what I’m saying, cause that’s where I was when I lost it all
Always learning everything the hard way
Some say illusions are her game
Don’t you worry folks, we took out all her teeth
And nobody comes to save you now, but you got something they don't
When the violence causes silence, we must be mistaken
I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
When you’re young, you just run, but you come back to what you need
So, baby, can we dance, oh, through an avalanche?
You don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me?
Cause for a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world
"Don't you see the starlight, starlight? Don't you dream impossible things?"
Climbed right back up the cliff, long story short I survived
Silly Game Time: In honor of Diability Pride Month, who are some disabled characters you really like, and why? Their disability could be physical (loss of a limb or function in a limb, loss of a sense such as sight or hearing, chronic pain, etc.). Or it could be mental/emotional (such as a learning disorder, memory issues, emotional disregulation like depression or PTSD, etc.). Or it could be metaphorical/fictional (only really existing within the context of a given story, such as an inability to use magic). It can be congenital or due to an event in the characters' life, partial or complete, treated with medication/prosthesis or completely untreated.
The characters can be from any genre of any media (movies, shows, books, comics, games, etc.) (OCs count, too, if you like). All that matters is that they have some sort of disability, and you like them!
John Watson has a cane for a bit after he returns from the war! And...oh god I literally can't think of ANYONE else apart from Sherlock characters-
Silly Game Time: Michelangelo's David is one of the most famous sculpture's in human history, depicting the biblical myth of a young shepherd (David) about to fight a cruel giant (Goliath) with only the power of God (and anime) (and a sling) on his side. But there's a mystery about this story that no one has been brave enough to answer ... until YOU came along!
So tell us, why the Judean heck did David decide to fight Goliath while completely starkers?
okay so according to Derek Landy, the Cleavers (fearsome, mentally reprogrammed, deadly, helmeted silent guards) used to train in a circle and they'd fight naked. Maybe David was a Cleaver?
I'm currently EXHAUSTED because I did two hours of a driving lesson (checks time) SIX HOURS AGO and I'm somehow still knackered??? So instead of confronting my to do list I'm watching videos from an old comfort YouTube channel (Dude Perfect), and thinking about how I'm gonna do stuff rather than doing it😭
Also obsessed with Begging by Dua Lipa and Hate Me by pink and 12 to 12 by sombr and Tired (remix) by Gavin James and they're making me want to write fics😌
breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby
high pressure tags (PARTICIPATE PARTICIPATE PARTICIPATE IF I YELL AT YOU TO PARTICIPATE YOU'LL DO IT): @pipstro @ilanalmao @recordplayermadein2014 @winter-inspr1ng @topajrfanatic @atrophicgalaxy
Last book i read: tbh i don't know right now since i mainly stuck to fanfics for like the last year or so, so I'm putting the last fic I've read which is getting out of his comfort zone by @heartattackhellraiser here :)
Last thing i ate: chicken nuggets and fries just 30 mins ago :3 (although the fries weren't even yummy 3:)
high pressure tags (PARTICIPATE PARTICIPATE PARTICIPATE IF I YELL AT YOU TO PARTICIPATE YOU'LL DO IT): @pipstro @ilanalmao @recordplayermadein2014 @winter-inspr1ng @topajrfanatic @atrophicgalaxy
Last book i read: tbh i don't know right now since i mainly stuck to fanfics for like the last year or so, so I'm putting the last fic I've read which is getting out of his comfort zone by @heartattackhellraiser here :)
Last thing i ate: chicken nuggets and fries just 30 mins ago :3 (although the fries weren't even yummy 3:)
I love when little creatures who are entirely loved and well cared for have the BIGGEST baby reactions to normal things. Like yes sweet pea, you DO have the hardest life of anyone ever, for sure, and you’re SO BRAVE about this minor inconvenience of *checks notes* having some water touch you
There is nothing sadder and more pathetic than a baby marine mammal having to get into the water. They are suffering the most out of any baby animal ever. How dare they be introduced to their natural environment.
