The Life of a Hot Babe

If I could I'd have a third arm

[poetrylesbian]

me, rereading my own breakdown posts: how embarrassing for her

[w33d-witch]

Media: It’s so hot! Sweltering!! Record breaking heat unlike anything we’ve ever seen!!! Who could have possibly predicted this???

Climatologists:

[thedragonqueenzilla]

sometimes when my insides are being destroyed and my brain is telling my hands to pick up the knives and my whole body is out of place and the walls are getting closer and closer, the weight of your body on mine is my only solace. But that makes me dependent on your hands and your body and your voice and your breath on my neck. So what happens when you realize I’m too disgusting to lay on?

[thedragonqueenzilla]

Just here, casually existing until the world or my brain explodes

[thedragonqueenzilla]

Dropping so quickly

I can feel the earth move out

from beneath my feet 

where are you?

I thought you were supposed to catch me

did I push you away too?

did I cut you out

with the scissors I used 

to destroy my skin

to cut away every remaining shred

of sanity I thought I still had

Am I moving too quickly for you

Am I manipulating you

just fucking answer me

fucking answer me

I can’t see straight 

everything is blurred by this anger

towards my body

towards your perfect face 

and the intense desire to cut 

my body

to cut your face from my life

im sorry

this isn’t real 

please just love me anyways

[thedragonqueenzilla]

Swear to god the most validating thing in the whole world is searching the BPD tags on tumblr like holy shit we’re all in this together and what im feeling isnt just me being an evil person its actually real. damn love yall so much and i wish yall a day full of minimal mood swingin and fps textin back quick  

[coldafternoon-deactivated202102]

*mood drops literally out of nowhere*

[thedragonqueenzilla]

Fuck yes for meds amiright

[thedragonqueenzilla]

*SIGH

You tell yourself you’ll do better tomorrow and then tomorrow turns into today and then you keep repeating the cycle until one day you realize you’re stuck. What you thought was a one time mistake has turned into a habit. The feeling that you just need to get through this one day or this one week has become a lifestyle. Suddenly you’re looking back and wondering where the fuck all the time went. How does anyone have the time and energy to have their shit together. How the fuck am I supposed to keep myself from drowning in my own mental, in my responsibilities, and in the shower bc I am too tired to stand. How am I supposed to keep telling myself to just get through the week when I know there is no end in sight. There is no light at the end of the tunnel rn. I’m not being dramatic. Fuck this shit y’all pass the damn blunt

[thedragonqueenzilla]

STAY A SLUT STAY A SLUT

IT IS OK TO BE SLUTTY. everyone likes slutty. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making out with multiple boys in one night or dancing around in a low cut shirt or talking about dirty and flirty things with someone you’ll never actually screw. The key is to remain true to yourself, to not let the attention of being slutty overcome you and turn you into a person who only acts that way to please boyz. As long as you’re doing it in a way that lets you feel better about yourself and allows you take control of yourself and your sexuality, there is nothing wrong with being a hoe. Fuck, I encourage it. Put yourself out there. Show some cleavage. Be a tease. Or don’t. But do not judge people who chooses to not achieve the same level as you on the sluttiness scale. God. we are all fucking fire. Do whatever the fuck makes you feel happy and beautiful, we all deserve at least that much from this life.

[terrortantrum]

I’m seventeen, and I love a girl who is both heaven sent and hell born, who wears a halo atop her horns. Her red hair sets flame to my pillowcase when it’s fanned out like a forest fire. She’s narcotic, all honey and heroin and haikus. Marionette strings grow from her hands like fingernails. Her hand moves and my heart turns puppet in my chest. She makes me a vixen a villain a victim out of the “V” of her hips. I steal kisses from her like a thief, I worship the deity of her wrists, press prayers to her pulse with my lips. In her gray dress that rolls and unfurls like storm clouds, her legs, pale and bright, are lightning strikes and I wanted them wrapped around my head, electrocuting me to oblivion and skin heat. My switchblade smiles her machine gun mouth our tongues are daggers we spar with and I was taught that a woman is a weapon and I learn that she is never more lethal than when in love. For her, I want to be the shore she builds her sandcastles on. For her, I want to be the tree she carves her name into, a declaration that she was there, she’d climbed my branches, she’d touched my leaves. I’ve heard people say that the person you love is like your favorite novel and here is my greatest fear, my cobwebbed covered secret: she is a book I’ve borrowed from the library, she comes with an expiration date, with the inevitability of return. She’ll be consumed by others who will bookmark her pages, and will memorize her passages. Will they find solace in her soft similes the way I had? Will they read between her lines? If our passion is borrowed, I’ll return her dog-eared, her spine cracked from my love. I’ll leave my favorite parts of her in fingerprints and tear stains. Whoever takes her off the shelf, will find the flowers I pressed between her pages and know that she had been loved fiercely. I will remember her by the scorch marks on my pillow and the smell of ink on my fingers.

S.N. (via terrortantrum)

[thedragonqueenzilla]

AH FUCK IT

There is no worse feeling than feeling like you’re the second option. Like you’re good, but not good enough. As I sit here in the student union building, violently eating my beef jerky and receiving some quite undesirable stares, I’m reflecting on the importance of not letting my mental state get jaded by a few sweet gestures and some emotional convos with my manager. He’s just a guy with a severe addiction to attention and self assurances, which I continually supply. He doesn’t like me, he likes the feeling of someone liking him who just sits idly by and gives him support and flirtations when he needs it. My granny says I will deal with this situation fine as long as I can keep my head screwed on straight. Let me tell you though, I think my head isn’t screwed on at all. I think this whole situation has melted away any remaining shred of sanity in this dumbass brain of mine. I keep falling for piece of shit guys who play me and Im so sick of being that girl. Is there no way to experience life and love without eventually having to build up a huge fucking wall around your emotions and your soul? Im trying to distract myself from my manager’s tormenting with a few tinder dates. Its just hard because I see him everyday and everyday I remember why I like him so much. Damnit i just need a lobotomy and some intense psycho-therapy.   

[thedragonqueenzilla]

Why is it so hard to believe that we deserve love? I spend so much time thinking and analyzing and trying to understand myself and the world I’m living in and I really cannot fathom why it is so difficult to exist. If I am able to find the good in people who are deeply flawed, why don’t I believe people will find the good in me? Anytime I start to think I could find someone who loves me I hear this devil voice telling me to stfu and self-hate and act like a bitch real quick so that I won’t be let down. I want to work on my flaws, I want to be a better person, but I also want to embrace who I am and learn to love that girl. I think I struggle to find that middle ground between loving myself and changing myself. Im not sure if I’ll ever figure it out, or if this is one of those perpetual life-long struggles.

The youth is wasted on the young 

[thedragonqueenzilla]

OKAY so my manager asked if I thought we were ever going to get married to each other and I wanted to be like “yes ya dummy u think im sitting here drooling over you like a love struck idiot if i didnt think such things?” but instead i said “no probably not” then he asked“but what if we did?” and I said “well we’ve got a long way to go”

also Im literally working a nine hour shift on a Friday night because I would rather be working with him than at a concert getting drunk if that gives you some idea of deep my issue is here. Idk i cant tell if he is in some way reciprocating my feelings or if he just doesn’t give a fuck and hes just using me to kill time at werk

anyways, this is me tryin to figure it out also look @ my sunburn oops

[buckykingofmemes]

maybe if im under enough blankets, the Responsibilities wont be able to find me

[thedragonqueenzilla]

I thought this said republicans and I was like okay reblog

[thedragonqueenzilla]

stop yelling

Stop yelling

Its in your head

What are you talking about

Its in your head

They don’t really care

They don’t even talk about you

They don’t even think about you

Stop yelling at yourself

You’re fine

You’re fucking fine

You are imagining this

Its not that big of a deal

STOP going over it

Going over it

And over it

It is in your head

You’re fine

You’re fine

You’re fucking fine

But what if its not

You will never know

This is just the human experience

or maybe its mental

You will never know

THEY DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT YOU

You’re fine

Fucking idiot what are you talking about

Go to sleep

Stop having nightmares

While you’re awake

Talk yourself down

Breathe

Breathe

Imagine him breathing

Being normal

Not thinking about you

No

Stop thinking about him

They don’t think about you

You’re fucking fine

Calm your breathing

Engage your sanity

Sanity

Sanity

You’re normal

You are fine

[thedragonqueenzilla]

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnKZ4pdSU-s)

OH MY FUCKING HEART