Even his tamest ao3 backstories have a throwaway "back in the day when I got laid six nights a week and only because I needed Sundays to meal prep" line. I read a one shot this fic where my man had lugged an entire Adam and Eve checkout cart to the Lighthouse with him to keep in a drawer Just In Case.
Emmrich is occasionally nervous, but only because Rook turns off his brain cells or he's worried about the age gap. Once he gets started he knows what he's doing and how and where and exactly how many times and Evanuris help you if you thought you were getting out of there south of four orgasms. Sorry, dearest, a gentleman has standards.
Emmrich heard of the Kinsey scale once and lit it on fire.
He's not a rake or a fuckboy. He's not sleazy. He doesn't lie or manipulate, and he doesn't kiss and tell. Emmrich is never, ever in horny jail. Emmrich stormed the horny Bastille and instituted a new horny constitution where everyone gets exactly the amount and kind of sex they want and if their name is Rook he will see to it personally.
I like drawing comics from time to time, and I really wanted to draw this moment (beware btw, potential spoilers...?). I'm looking forward to the part. 2 ✨
In December I ran a Google Form looking to compare the official Bioware player statistics to those of the tumblr fandom. I received 3031 unique responses, and am now making the results available to you! This was a solo endeavor and I'm so grateful to every single one of you for your participation! All I ask in return is that we keep it positive: this was a fun project, let's keep it that way!
The results are in graphic form under the cut (alt text is available for every graphic). I have also captioned them with the official Bioware stats for comparison purposes where applicable. You can view the raw data in the form of a Google Sheet here. Please note that these results contain major endgame spoilers.
Thank you again, please reblog for reach!
Bioware did not provide hard numbers, but their ranking is: Neve, Lucanis, Taash, Harding, Bellara, Davrin, Emmrich
Bioware stats: 44% freed the archive spirit, 56% kept the archive spirit; 54% had Emmrich become a lich, 46% saved Manfred
Bioware stats: 33% sent the griffons to the Wardens, 67% sent the griffons to Arlathan
Bioware stats: 22% forgave Illario, 78% sent Illario to jail; 21% had Taash embrace Qunari culture, 79% had Taash embrace Rivaini culture
Bioware stats: 39% had Neve become an inspiration, 61% had Neve become a protector; 16% had Harding embrace anger, 84% had Harding embrace calm
Bioware stats: 22% banished the mayor to the Grey Wardens, 36% saved him, 42% left him for dead; 64% punched the First Warden, 36% reasoned with him
Bioware stats: 46% for Davrin as the distraction team leader, 54% for Harding as the distraction team leader; 58% had Bellara shut down the wards, 42% had Neve shut down the wards
Bioware only provided top 3 picks for each: Emmrich, Neve and Bellara are top 3 for unravelling the wards and Lucanis, Taash and Emmrich are top 3 for going after the Venatori. Please also note that these questions were optional on the Google Form and was not answered by all respondents.
Bioware only provided top 3 picks for each: Taash, Davrin, and Emmrich are top 3 for fighting the Juggernaut and Taash, Davrin, and Harding are top 3 for the counter-attack. Please also note that these questions were optional on the Google Form and was not answered by all respondents.
Bioware stats: 3% sacrificed Rook, 8% fought Solas, 17% outsmarted Solas, and 72% redeemed Solas; 43% of those who redeemed Solas had the inquisitor join him in the Fade
Bioware stats: 31% played rock, paper, scissors with Manfred; 50% petted Assan
Bioware stats: Human at 43%, Elf at 40%, Qunari at 11%, Dwarf at 6%
Bioware stats: Grey Wardens at 24%, Shadow Dragons at 24%, Antivan Crows at 16%, Veil Jumpers at 15%, Lords of Fortune at 11%, Mourn Watch at 10%
Bioware only provided stats for the three core classes: Mage at 40%, Rogue at 30%, and Warrior at 30%
I don’t know what’s been in the water these past 2-3 days, but the Emmrook gang is THIRSTY AS HELL over on AO3. I’m so profoundly grateful for all the filthy, debased smut y’all are throwing my way. Like, truly, thank you for your service. LMFAO
We’ve all been collectively possessed by the Demon of Horniness. Love that for us.
Some facts about Emmrich (and also the Necropolis, Nevarra and other related things) gathered from the banters
I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).
Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)
Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.
Other characters' posts: Bellara, Davrin, Harding, Lucanis, Neve, Taash to be added tomorrow (or on Monday Jan 5th)
About Emmrich:
Family and early life:
“Volkarin” is a commoner’s name. Emmrich’s father was a butcher, and his mother was a cook
When Emmrich was around 5 years old, his neighbours had a pig named Lucy. He was very fond of her, and she’d always let him hug her around his neck
Emmrich grew up poor (clocked by Neve based on the way he always saves his candle stubs, shows up first for meals and never leaves food on his plate)
Emmrich grew up hearing that all dragons were so hostile they had to be slain and is surprised that Taash has found ways to deal with them peacefully
General:
The gold Emmrich’ wears is called “grave-dowry” (or “grave gold”). It’s a Nevarran custom to wear precious objects one would like to take to their grave
Emmrich’s bracelet (not specified which one) was gifted to him on the day he became a full Watcher. The ring with a large stone was the last gift from his father. The skull pin doesn’t have a story, he just likes it
Emmrich isn’t fond of the Nevarran nobility
Emmrich’s shaving cream smells like potash (at least to Taash)
Emmrich uses moss perfume with flowers
Decades ago, Emmrich used to see an Orlesian woman who was an art appraiser
If Emmrich wasn’t a watcher, he would like to be a botanist
Emmrich displays some interest in Ferelden, mentioning that many of its heroes greatly shaped the history. Harding says that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about her homeland
Emmrich doesn't like beer because it's bitter
Emmrich prefers tea (he mentions purchasing a Brynnlaw curled-leaf blend in Nevarra), but he can also drink coffee
Emmrich doesn’t eat meat (seafood and insects included), but he indulges in cheese. It seems to be a Watcher thing - he says that each Watcher must decide what they will and won't take a life for, and meat crosses that line for him
Emmrich likes melons, mushrooms and pineapples. He also enjoyed a plate of fried leeks and potatoes at Halos’s stand in Minrathous
Emmrich always thought he’d get married one day
After a Minrathous merchant sells Emmrich fake charms, he causes him to see skeletal faces on the windows and hear spirits whispering that false goods endanger lives as punishment. Emmrich agrees to stop once Neve tells him that she can convince the merchant to get back to selling linen if the visions cease
On magic and studies:
Some deaths may leave emotional imprints so intense Emmrich may feel them decades later
Emmrich thinks the magic of old Elven artefacts is “rigid”
Emmrich isn’t very good at figuring out Elven artefacts (by his own admission)
Emmrich’s first published work was A Monograph on the Vagaries of Determining a Body's Time of Death
Emmrich is roughly familiar with the dragon anatomy
Emmrich knows a lot about how bodies work (muscle-wise etc.) from the time he performed autopsies
Watchers study the death practices of other cultures. Emmrich knew about Eb-ketarra and the Rivaini traditions even before Taash performs them at the end of their questline
On life in the Necropolis:
When Emmrich fell for another boy during his youth, he showed him a corpse he was allowed to practice dissection on. The date was ruined by a passing wisp possessing the body and causing it to sit up and ruin the mood
Emmrich tutored Dorian during his term in the Necropolis (“Tremendous potential, but appallingly flippant towards the dead”)
Emmrich and other watchers live in the Necropolis (Emmrich has a flat there)
On life at the Lighthouse:
It took 8 skeletons half a day to bring that slab of marble into Emmrich’s room
He didn’t bring his entire collection of books to the Lighthouse (there are more)
Emmrich talks to skulls in his room
Lighthouse kitchen reminds Emmrich of the mortuary
Relationships with companions:
Emmrich offers to introduce Bellara to Audric, the Necropolis librarian (who appeared in Tevinter Nights’ Down Among the Dead Men)
Emmrich calls the Archive spirit a work of art
Emmrich and Davrin disagree on parenting methods. Emmrich thinks Davrin should better discipline Assan and teach him boundaries, while Davrin suggest Emmrich should let Manfred learn more on his own (e.g. let him fall so he learns how to get up)
Emmrich turns to Neve when he needs help acquiring some reagents he can't get his hands through normal ones, and she agrees to help him out (smuggling is involved)
Emmrich isn’t too thrilled about Neve taking over the Threads, questioning of what’s going to become with the organisation and the future and thinking it may become corrupt (sort of mirroring the way Neve is apprehensive about his lichdom)
Taash likes Emmrich’s lich helmet. They are not usually fond of skulls, but that helmet is fine because it’s on fire
Taash thinks that gemstones like amethyst or green opal would look good with the lich helmet
Emmrich doesn’t seem to like unrealistic books as he criticised Harding’s “Gore-Knight” novels for their incorrect interpretation of magic. He is worried about people misunderstanding magic and spirits
Emmrich calls himself Harding's 'de facto physician'
On Manfred:
(If Rook chooses to save Treviso) Manfred brings Neve tea by his own volition. Emmrich thinks it's because Manfred sensed she might need a friend
Manfred is as aware of his surroundings as most people (to a certain degree)
(If revived at the Necropolis) Manfred learns to say Emmrich’s name
(If revived at the Necropolis) Manfred becomes much more talkative
Manfred likes boiling tea because he is fascinated by steam
Emmrich suggests Manfred tries tending to plants in Harding's garden
Manfred is curious about Spite and wanders into Lucanis’s room at night
Spite and Assan miss Manfred if he’s gone
On Lichdom:
Emmrich smells fine to Taash even after he becomes a lich
Emmrich’s lich helmet burns with veilfire. He once tried using it in combat, but the flame ended up blinding him
Emmrich thinks Strife would no longer be interested in a relationship after he becomes a Lich. That doesn't prove to be true
Lich!Emmrich doesn't need to eat but still comes by the kitchen for company
The energy of Emmrich’s magic changed after he became a lich
Other liches call lich!Emmrich “Young Volkarin”
Lich!Emmrich no longer has muscles, but when he tries out Taash’s pull-up routine, he can still feel something like “a spectral memory of flesh”, as if he had pulled a tendon
Emmrich starts seeing more books in the Lighthouse library after becoming a linch
About spirit, demons, and the Necropolis:
There are spirits of Temperance and Diligence
The Watchers avoid using the word “demon” because it creates bad expectations and can negatively influence spirits
Some in the Mourn Watch suspected that elves originated from spirits, though it was just one of many theories, and not a particularly popular one
Chambers in the Necropolis can go missing (according to MW!Rook, they turn up, eventually)
Even after the despair demon is banished from the Necropolis, the halls remain cold. However, the effects will abate with time
There are horses on display in the Necropolis
Watchers rarely get possessed thanks to the special wards of the Necropolis. Possessions also don’t happen as often because the necromancers already provide spirits with bodies, so they don't need to possess anyone by force
Bellara calls the background magic of Necropolis tidy and quiet
There something called “The Deep Necropolis” featuring sections like “The Unspoken Valley” and “The Charnel Bridge” (which has something called “nightmare fog”) that hosts all kinds of entities. Bellara is very excited to visit once the nightmare fog clears
Vorgoth ensures that the transgressions of those who use magical to cruel and abusive means will not be tolerated (whatever that means)
About Nevarra:
Many great Nevarran artefacts have been lost to time, including the Skull of Sabinar, the Key of Dead Dreamers, and the Crown of the Moon
There are strict rules about selling enchantments in Nevarra. You can’t sell anything without a licence and an inspection from the mage Circles
A Tevinter poem “Faustina's Song”, a romantic epic from the Steel Age, is very popular in Nevarra, and its quotes are used on ‘more than one’ epitaph in the Necropolis. Neve is surprised people even read it outside Tevinter
I don't think Bioware fully comprehends the absolute chaos it’s about to release by handing us, the unapologetic mage-bangers, Emmrich "well done, my dear" Volkarin after the emotional war crime that was the Solas romance.
It’s like they’re handing us an emotionally healthy daddy figure wrapped in a big ol’ “yes, praise me harder” bow and just expecting us to behave.
AO3? Oh, it’s about to be a bloodbath. A flood of unholy praise kink is going to rain down like mana from horny heaven. The poor voice actor? He’s got no idea what’s coming. Fans, barely coherent, will be sobbing in his DMs, pleading for him to record lines like, "darling, sweet thing, apple of my throbbing loins,” because suddenly that’s the only thing keeping them going.
And you just know the fics are gonna go there. We’re talking steamy, full-blown, knee-weakening sex scenes so detailed you’ll practically hear the slapping sounds through your screen. Every silver hair, every wrinkled brow is going to get worshipped like it’s the goddamn Holy Grail. Emmrich? He’s not just a mentor now, no—he’s the silver-fox sex wizard of everyone’s dirtiest, most depraved dreams.
Bioware, you’ve dragged us through the emotional meat grinder with Solas, and now you’re tossing us this emotionally sane and well-adapted snack with decades of good coping mechanisms? Oh, baby, the sex scenes are gonna be biblical. I’m talking hands-on-bookshelves, robes ripped off, candles flickering like we’re summoning a demon but, surprise, it’s just Emmrich praising your efforts in bed like you’re acing your dissertation. It's gonna be 'well done, my dear' while you’re doing ungodly things to that silver fox, and he’s stroking your hair like you just unlocked a new achievement.
Me? Oh, honey, I’ll be on the front lines like a horny general leading the charge into the unholy lands. November 1st? I’m not just showing up, I’m rolling in with a pre-written, fully locked-and-loaded stash of smut so scandalous, my Orthodox ancestors will not only crucify me—they’ll disown me in the afterlife. I’m gonna make them turn in their graves so hard, we’ll solve the energy crisis.
And let’s not get it twisted—I’m going to worship this thin, emotionally available mage like he’s the last goddamn spellcaster left in Thedas. I’m talking tongue tracing every single one of his ribs like I’m mapping out the delicate lines of a cathedral—except it’s not sacred, it’s blasphemous as fuck. Forget holy water; it’s gonna be sweat, and I’ll be so deep into my thirst, my own character, Rook, will be doing things that’d make even the most depraved demon of desire blush. Every sliver of his body, every wrinkle, every bone—especially the bones—is getting the Rook Treatment™.
Bioware? You better brace yourself because I’m about to publish smut so audacious, so flagrantly wanton, even the Deep Roads will seem vanilla.
We’ve suffered. And now poor Emmrich’s going to be buried alive under the weight of all that… pent-up thirst. Welcome to the show, sweet necromancer.
Let’s talk about Emmrich, specifically let’s talk about flirting with him after he first joins the team because I’m seeing a lot of discourse expressing frustration that he appears unmoved by your attempts to gain his attention, except, he knows what your doing. He’s holding back and let’s explore why -
Taking a step back, let’s look at who Emmrich is in terms of that public facing persona:
A Professor, who actively teaches.
An expert in his field who is prolific enough that Bellara, a Dalish elf living in relative isolation, knows who he is.
He written books, Davrin talks about this.
He’s wealthy, wealthy enough that Harding mistakes him for nobility.
All these factors have likely won him a lot of attention. Emmrich tells you in the romantic interest scene with the skull that if your interest ‘goes beyond charming flattery’ then he’s interested in exploring that as well.
This line tells me that flirting with him, at least at the start, is something he considers transactional. He gets it a lot when people around him might try and charm him for various reasons; could be students looking for better grades, or others studying his field of expertise attempting to gain recognition from him, even, perhaps, the odd person who might view Emmrich as a possible sugar daddy (you’re all thinking it).
So, Rook rocks up, shows interest in him and he’s seen it all before - until Emmrich realises that Rook means it, the interest is genuine, no subterfuge. We see that through the gradual reciprocation of flirting; that soft line about picking extraordinary moments for compliments, the relaxing into the flirtation during the first visit after bringing out tea, showing you his magic.
He knows you’re flirting, he’s just making sure it’s genuine first.
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