Monday
"You look so beautiful today." he said, while his brown eyes were gazing at me, longer than usualć¼I thought he wouldn't even want to see me. If it was still the one-week-ago-or-more me, I would be a tomato ass. All red, all hyped. So I was glad to realize that it was only a compliment. The kind of compliment adult people use as one complete package with greeting. That it doesn't really mean anything other than ice-breaking or shit. Even if I really looked pretty in his eyes, he only wanted to tell, and saying that words to me didn't mean he liked me back. So, I shrugged. "I don't think I do. I'm messy." "Messy? Why?" "Been feeling hard to concentrate on anything. Also, on today we got PE. We did some push-ups and they were very exhausting." He nodded. I nodded. Today, he wore his usual outfit with his usual hairstyle. I suddenly wondered on why I could like himć¼and really did confess. From his look, he was not really my type. From his behavior, he was sometimes too weird for me to understand. We still talked a bit after it as I brought up about what happened a week ago. I apologized for being too naive, I really knew that I was one. It went only shortly until he said that he had to go back to the classroom. "But I still want to talk to you." was the thing I wish I could say. I hated that this oneć¼our conversation, felt so awkward. All the scenarios in my head were suddenly disappeared despite that I had wanted Monday to immediately happen. Only on Monday, I could talk to him like thisć¼because he wouldn't be here other than on Monday. He refused to make us meet more often, and I accepted that. I accepted that I couldn't always get what I want, eventhough it more seemed like I never got anything I want. Time for a move on, mate.













