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Hello, magical non-witch! I'm impressed that you created lots of tumblr themes when you were only 16 years old. tumblr says that on the page for your work. TBQH I'm worried about the Wordpress/mattmull takeover. Now, to substance: I'm appalled at what those loons said and did to you in your post URL 641642216167702528 You were only 18 yrs old! She was post-pubescent. Believe me: I'm an IRL 40+ trad woman. (Also, GOP aren't all evil.) PLEASE, please don't feel ashamed or be self-recriminating?
You know, I feel bad that you've been falsely accused for everything you'll did. People don't understand that someone can change their life after time goes on, yet they're judging you from past behavior and not from present day. Hopefully one day everything about your problems right now will be solved, but I doubt anyone besides me would get that...
Actually, the reason is because the people who have those headcanons often delude themselves into thinking it’s canon, and harass people who don’t think so too.
Literally one of the less-than-ten posts on the blog (WHICH IS THE POST YOU STOLE THE IMAGE FROM) debunks the allegation, which doesn’t matter anyway because it doesn’t have anything to do with trans headcanons whatsoever. Ad hominem much?
Oh, sorry, I forgot you shouldn’t expect rationality from someone who literally says shit like this:
“I’m going to cyberbully this bitch so hard”
Truly the words of a cultured logician of the highest calibre, eh. /s
The word lesbian is entirely divorced from gender identity, and that's why trans people have participated in gay communities from the beginning. Lesbians are same sex attracted biological females. Please read nonbinary trans lesbian Leslie Feinberg to learn more about this.
I’m sick and tired of this insistence to call trans men “lesbians”, when those men clearly do not want to be called a lesbian. And by your definition, trans women can’t be lesbians. Read a dictionary.
I’ll state it at the top here, because many have not understood my stance. The purpose of this essay is not to say that Lesbian cannot mean “Female homosexual.” Rather, my objective is to show that Lesbian means more than that single definition suggests.
Female Homosexuals are lesbians, unless they personally do not want to use that label.
Now, on with the show:
Lesbianism is not about gatekeeping, and I don’t want to have to keep convincing people that the movement popularized by someone who wrote a book full of lies and hate speech then immediately worked with Ronald Reagan is a bad movement.
In the early ’70s, groups of what would now be called “gender critical” feminists threatened violence against many trans women who dared exist in women’s and lesbian spaces.
For example, trans woman Beth Elliott, who was at the 1973 West Coast Lesbian Feminist Conference to perform with her lesbian band, was ridiculed onstage and had her existence protested.
In 1979, radical feminist Janice Raymond, a professor at the University of Massachusetts, wrote the defining work of the TERF movement, “Transsexual Empire: The Making of the Shemale,” in which she argued that “transsexualism” should be “morally mandating it out of existence”—mainly by restricting access to transition care (a political position shared by the Trump administration). Soon after she wrote another paper, published for the government-funded, National Center for Healthcare Technology — and the Reagan administration cut off Medicare and private health insurance coverage for transition-related care.
Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism is a fundamentally unsustainable ideology.
Lesbianism is a fundamentally sustainable existence.
There used to be a lesbian bar or queer bar or gay bar in practically every small town — sometimes one of each.
After surviving constant police raids, these queer spaces began closing even Before the AIDS epidemic.
Because TERFs would take them over, kick out transfems and their friends. Suddenly, there weren’t enough local patrons to keep the bars open, because the majority had been kicked out. With America’s lack of public transportation, not enough people were coming from out of town either.
TERFs, even beyond that, were a fundamental part of the state apparatus that let AIDS kill millions.
For those who don’t know, Lesbian, from the time of Sappho of Lesbos to the about 1970′s, referred to someone who rejects the patriarchal hierarchy. It was not only a sexuality, but almost akin to a gender spectrum.
That changed in the 1970′s when TERFs co-opted 2nd Wave feminism, working with Ronald fucking Reagan to ban insurance for trans healthcare.
TERFs took over the narrative, the bars, the movement, and changed Lesbian from the most revolutionary and integral queer communal identity of 2 fucking THOUSAND years, from “Someone who rejects the patriarchal hierarchy” to “A woman with a vagina who’s sexually attracted to other women with vaginas”
How does this fit into the bi lesbian debate? As I said, Lesbian is more of a Gender Spectrum than anything else, it was used much in the same way that we use queer or genderqueer today.
And it’s intersectional too.
See, if you were to try to ascribe a rigid, biological, or localized model of an identity across multiple cultures, it will fail. It will exclude people who should not be excluded. ESPECIALLY Intersex people. That’s why “Two Spirit” isn’t something rigid- it is an umbrella term for the identities within over a dozen different cultures.
In the next two sections, I have excerpts on Two-Spirit and Butch identity, to give a better idea of the linguistics of queer culture:
This section on Two-Spirit comes from wikipedia, as it has the most links to further sources,
I have linked all sources directly, though you can also access them from the Wikipedia page’s bibliography:
Two-Spirit is a pan-Indian, umbrella term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe Native people who fulfill a traditional ceremonial and social role that does not correlate to the western binary. [1] [2] [3]
Created at the 1990 Indigenous lesbian and gay international gathering in Winnipeg, it was “specifically chosen to distinguish and distance Native American/First Nations people from non-Native peoples.“ [4]
Criticism of Two-Spirit arises from 2 major points,
1. That it can exasperate the erasure of the traditional terms and identities of specific cultures.
a. Notice how this parallels criticisms of Gay being used as the umbrella term for queer culture in general.
2. That it implies adherence to the Western binary; that Natives believe these individuals are "both male and female" [4]
a. Again, you’ll notice that this parallels my criticisms of the TERF definition of Lesbian, that tying LGBT+ identities to a rigid western gender binary does a disservice to LGBT+ people,—especially across cultures.
“Two Spirit” wasn’t intended to be interchangeable with “LGBT Native American” or “Gay Indian”; [2] nor was it meant to replace traditional terms in Indigenous languages.
Rather, it was created to serve as a pan-Indian unifier. [1] [2] [4]
—The term and identity of two-spirit “does not make sense” unless it is contextualized within a Native American or First Nations framework and traditional cultural understanding. [3] [10] [11]
The ceremonial roles intended to be under the modern umbrella of two-spirit can vary widely, even among the Indigenous people who accept the English-language term. No one Native American/First Nations’ culture’s gender or sexuality categories apply to all, or even a majority of, these cultures. [4] [8]
Butch:
At the turn of the 20th century, the word “butch” meant “tough kid” or referred to a men’s haircut. It surfaced as a term used among women who identified as lesbians in the 1940s, but historians and scholars have struggled to identify exactly how or when it entered the queer lexicon.
However it happened, “Butch” has come to mean a “lesbian of masculine appearance or behavior.”
(I have heard that, though the words originate from French, Femme & Butch came into Lesbian culture from Latina lesbian culture, and if I find a good source for that I will share. If I had to guess, there may be some wonderful history to find of it in New Orleans—or somewhere similar.)
Before “butch” became a term used by lesbians, there were other terms in the 1920s that described masculinity among queer women. According to the historian Lillian Faderman,“bull dagger” and “bull dyke” came out of the Black lesbian subculture of Harlem, where there were “mama” and “papa” relationships that looked like butch-femme partnerships. Performer Gladys Bentley epitomized this style with her men’s hats, ties and jackets. Women in same-sex relationships at this time didn’t yet use the word “lesbian” to describe themselves.
Prison slang introduced the terms “daddy,” “husband,” and “top sargeant” into the working class lesbian subculture of the 1930s.
This lesbian history happened alongside Trans history, and often intersected, just as the Harlem renaissance had music at the forefront of black and lesbian (and trans!) culture, so too can trans musicians, actresses, and more be found all across history, and all across the US.
Some of the earliest known trans musicians are Billy Tipton and Willmer “Little Ax” Broadnax—Both transmasculine musicians who hold an important place in not just queer history, but music history.
Lesbian isn’t rigid & biological, it’s social and personal, built up of community and self-determination.
And it has been for millennia.
So when people say that nonbinary lesbians aren’t lesbian, or asexual lesboromantics aren’t lesbian, or bisexual lesbians aren’t lesbian, it’s not if those things are technically true within the framework — It’s that those statements are working off a fundamentally claustrophobic, regressive, reductionist, Incorrect definition
You’ll notice that whilst I have been able to give citations for TERFs, for Butch, and especially for Two-Spirit, there is little to say for Lesbianism. The chief reason for this is that lesbian history has been quite effectively erased-but it is not forgotten, and the anthropological work to recover what was lost is still ongoing.
One of the primary issues is that so many who know or remember the history have so much trauma connected to "Lesbian” that they feel unable to reclaim it. Despite this trauma, just like the anthropological work, reclamation is ongoing.
Since Sappho, lesbian was someone who rejects the patriarchal hierarchy. For centuries, esbian wasn’t just a sexuality, it was intersectional community, kin to a gender spectrum, like today’s “queer”. When TERFs co-opted 2nd Wave feminism, they redefined Lesbian to “woman w/ a vag attracted to other women w/ vags”. So when you say “bi lesbians aren’t lesbian” it’s not whether that’s true within the framework, it’s that you’re working off a claustrophobic, regressive, and reductionist definition.
I want Feminism, Queerness, Lesbianism, to be fucking sustainable.
I wanna see happy trans and lesbian and queer kids in a green and blue fucking world some day.
I want them to be able to grow old in a world we made good.
I admire how you made such a massive amount of effort to write a gigantic monolith of text that most people won’t even bother to read, just to try to deny the fact that the word “lesbian” means “a person, whose gender identity is that of a woman, who has the propensity to be romantically and/or sexually attracted to others whose gender expression is that of a woman”, nothing more, nothing less
Actually, the reason is because the people who have those headcanons often delude themselves into thinking it’s canon, and harass people who don’t think so too.
本日（1月29日現在）、この理由で DanceDanceRevolution XX プロジェクトから除名されました。
It is with my greatest displeasure that […] I must announce that […] Haley Halcyon […] has been dismissed from the project[…] Unfortunately, it has come to our attention that she has violated our rules on NSFW content, as well as harassment and bullying among members of the public while she has been with us.
In response to the warning from an unspecified Puyo Discord server
I’ve recently been notified that my ban from a certain Puyo Puyo themed Discord server was announced publicly. In this post, I will quote the announcement, address the points, and clarify my stance.
Content warning: This post mentions sensitive topics such as drug abuse, child abuse and pedophilia.
The callout
⚠CW: Pedophilia and CSA
This is a general safety PSA for people to be aware of the user “HaleyHalcyon”[…]
⚠TW: Pedophilia, grooming, mentions of lolicon and shotacon
Haley […] is a predator […] and dated a minor when she was 18. […] She also defends the creation of lolicon and shotacon, sexual works that involve young girls and boys. Besides that, she is transphobic […]
Her behavior indicates to me that she has not changed or grown at all from the last time we interacted, and she is still a danger to people in this community.
My response
The callout post relies on old evidence, decontextualization, and personal bias.
I don’t know which server this warning is from (Good work censoring the username, whoever showed this to the nice server owner who took a step back to see both sides of the argument). But I can tell that I have not interacted with anyone in the server with any degree of negativity.
1: Child grooming accusations
This is as hard for me to write as for you to read. This part of my life is not something I actively want to reveal, but this witch hunt has gone on too long for me to continue to afford to stay silent. I’m not proud of what I did, but I’m proud of moving on and changing my behavior.
Yes, I can confirm that I “dated a minor when I was 18”. However, I was already very close to her when we were both minors. I can confirm that we have, of course, broken up. It will make sense once I provide the timeline of what happened between us.
Since I don’t want to open old wounds, I will just call her “X”.
When I was in high school, I hit puberty, and with puberty, came lewd thoughts. I created a NSFW DeviantArt account while lying about being over 18.
X came across my account and sent me a message. We did some NSFW roleplay over Notes. I think I can retrospectively conclude that we were very horny teens.
We got close and met on Skype, when we found out that we were both lying about our age.
We continued to deepen our friendship, until we moved onto Discord.
On Discord, X told me that her mother abuses her physically and mentally, like beating her, insulting her, and confiscating and snooping through her phone. She also said I was the first person that she felt that genuinely cared about her.
We continued to chat and occasionally do voice calls as two very horny minors.
At some point, I turned 18.
X called me one day while her mother was apparently hunting her down with a knife. I stayed on the line to comfort her.
As a dying plea, X asked me to be her boyfriend. (I’m trans, big whoop. I didn’t know it myself back then.) Despite myself, I decided to say yes.
Fortunately, the incident passed with X alive and well. We continued to talk to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, as I cared about her and didn’t have the heart to “break up” with her.
At around the same time, I ran a Puyo Puyo Discord server. It was an SFW server, and was dedicated to the lore and casual play, as opposed to competitive Tsu-rules gameplay.
One day, against better judgment, I posted a short message in that server, which was suggestive and mentioned X.
Immediately, “child grooming” accusations pop up, and the server collapses in a wild argument.
To this day, all of Puyo Puyo Tumblr has at least heard some variant of the statement “@thefizzynator is a pedophile”.
I believe that I can’t be blamed for child grooming in this situation. It was an extension of a friendship between two post-pubescent minors. Just because I had passed an arbitrary number of hours past my birth and she hadn’t, it doesn’t suddenly make the situation immoral.
You could argue that browsing NSFW media and having NSFW interactions as a minor is already immoral, but that is nowhere near the level of actual child sexual abuse.
TL;DR: We were both minors when we met. Then I turned 18, and the Internet overreacted.
2: Pedophilia accusations
To quote the section of the callout dealing with this:
She also defends the creation of lolicon and shotacon, sexual works that involve young girls and boys.
This statement is one part truth and one part falsehood. Lolicon and shotacon do not “involve young girls and boys”.
Child porn is illegal because it’s child abuse and exploitation, not because it’s “immoral”. If it were illegal because it’s immoral, fictional porn that acts out a scenario involving rape would have to be illegal too.
This distinction is important, because lolicon/shotacon media does not involve real life minors in any way. No minors are being harmed by patterns of ink on paper, paint on canvas, words in a sentence, colors on pixels, you name it. No minors are being harmed by adults consuming said completely fictional media.
For example, an adult cosplayer performing NSFW cosplay of a fictional character that happens to be “officially” underage is not child sexual abuse, because no minors were involved in making and photographing that cosplay (unless some unsavory hiring has been done for the photo-op).
It would be fair to apply the same logic to drawn or CGI porn. No minors were involved in making the artwork, as the people pictured are fictional, and everyone involved in the creation is (presumably) of age.
You may already know that Japan does not legally restrict drawn/fictional pornography at the same level as the US or Europe. But you may not know that, as opposed to what you might expect, Japan has a lower rate of child sexual abuse compared to the US and the UK.
This makes sense when you compare how the US and Switzerland approached opioid abuse. The US started the War on Drugs, vilifying, criminalizing, and stigmatizing the very act of having an illegal drug. This led drug cartels to become stronger, because demand for those drugs stayed the same. Switzerland started a program where they built intervention centers, where drug addicts can use safer, regulated replacements for those drugs under expert supervision with clean needles, and had ready access to rehabilitation programs. As a result, Switzerland saw positive results.
Condoning a behavior in fiction DOES NOT equal condoning a behavior in real life.
I have heard people argue that fictional media can still be used to perform child grooming. However, that argument places the blame on the wrong thing, like blaming razor manufacturers for self-harm, or cookware manufacturers for knife crime. Those adults who show minors that NSFW media and pass it off as acceptable behavior in real life are the problem, not the tools they use to do it.
If you actually do care about child sexual abuse, there are lots of examples of real life pedophilia that demand your attention, like in the Catholic clergy and the Republican party of the United States. If you care about fictional drawings more than you care about real children, you don’t care about child sexual abuse. You care about policing people’s speech.
3: Transphobia accusations
This part is nonsense.
3a: Trans/nonbinary affirmation
Transgender people are real, and deserve the right to self-determination, healthcare, and equality. Nonbinary people are real, and they aren’t just confused about their gender. Gender or no gender, people deserve equal treatment.
However, freedom ends when it encroaches on another’s freedom. That is why hate speech is not tolerated in most public forums.
3b: On “noungenders”
What I do have a problem is the trend in mainstream online transgender spaces of tacking on the word “gender” onto something random and pretending that it’s a “valid” gender, which I will henceforth call a “noungender”.
Gender is defined as the range of characteristics pertaining to, and differentiating between, masculinity and femininity, such as assigned gender by birth, gender identity, gender expression, and social expectations. (This is related but separate from sex, which deals with physical sex characteristics, and grammatical gender, which is a separate concept that puts nouns into classes related to, but separate from, gender or sex.)
People argue that “gender is a social construct”. According to explanations that I have received, that means that (aside from genital structure) the concept we know as “gender” is wholly determined by the society we live in, and only has value if the society agrees that it has value, just like money does.
I have no intention to dispute that statement, as I agree. Just as currency has no value if there is no trusted backing, a “gender” has no value if there is no good reason why it should be classified as a gender, as opposed to an aesthetic, a hobby, a personality trait, a mental condition/disorder, or a kintype.
Therefore, it is not transphobic for a person to say that a noungender is not a gender. Exclusion (underinclusion) is often used for discrimination (e.g. not classifying trans women as women), but overinclusion is too (e.g. classifying all pedophiles as GSRM). The appropriate level of inclusion should be maintained, so that the dignity and respect of all transgender people will be protected.
A self-proclaimed noungender person can also be homosexual, bisexual, or another kind of GSRM. That’s fine. They belong in GSRM spaces because of their sexuality, not their noungender.
3c: On “non-dysphoric” trans people
There is a mantra in trans spaces that says “You don’t need dysphoria to be trans”. I agree with this to this extent: You can also have gender euphoria, or some other kind of gender incongruity, which indicates that your gender identity doesn’t match your current presented gender.
“Dysphoria” is often used as shorthand for the entire concept of gender incongruity. This is like saying “Nintendo” to mean “a device that plays video games”. An Xbox is not by Nintendo by the original definition, but is “a Nintendo” by the generalized definition.
If you don’t experience any signs that your gender identity doesn’t match what gender you think you seem like, then there’s no benefit to transitioning or receiving the kind of help that trans people need. While it’s contested (sadly) whether those people are “trans enough”, I assert that they are different from transgender people, and their insistence that they’re also trans drowns out and delegitimizes transgender voices.
This is absolutely not to say that nonbinary people don’t exist. Nonbinary people are very real. However, being transgender isn’t some trendy thing to put in your bio just because you like to crossdress. Being transgender is first and foremost about gender identity, and wanting to change your body to fit it. If you do not, do not talk over trans people who do, and are fighting for the right to.
3d: On neopronouns
I hold that any attempt to introduce a set of epicene pronouns to English is dead on arrival.
English pronouns are closed-class. That means that creating new words of that kind is extremely hard, if not impossible. For example, verbs in Japanese have been closed-class, as most verbs in Japanese are of the form [noun] + suru, meaning “to do [noun]”. However, some recent constructions, such as the suffix -ru, have created brand-new pure verbs, such as guguru, meaning “to google”. English pronouns are like that. The last time new pronouns were introduced into the language was “y’all” in “the 1600s at earliest” (Wiktionary).
The singular they already fills the role. Since it reuses an existing pronoun, the singular they is superior to neopronouns: it sounds natural, because it’s already a pronoun; it’s used to refer to someone of unspecific gender, so it’s easy to extend it to someone of known epicene gender; and it’s already widespread in said usage.
There are too many competing suggestions. There’s ze/zir, xe/hir, xe/xir, co/co’s, em/eyr, what have you. There are also “nounself pronouns”, which attempt to derive a random noun like a pronoun, much like the “noungenders” I mentioned in section 3b. Even the saner suggestions have a snowball’s chance in an oven; the nounself pronouns are doomed to fail and be ridiculed, since it misses the whole point of third-person pronouns: to communicate the mentioned person’s gender to someone else.
Pronouns are at the very core of the English language. Messing with them is a hassle at best, and bad optics for transgender people at worst. Just as noungenders are not genders, most neopronouns do not function as pronouns.
TL;DR:I am trans myself, and I object to some trends in GSRM spaces, which are related to overinclusivity. I am not transphobic or nonbinary-phobic.
4: Personal growth, or lack thereof
Whoever posted that post is not qualified to judge whether or not I have grown over the last several years. I have had interactions, friendships, arguments, fallouts, everything while you weren’t looking. I realized that I was transgender, and came out as such. I endured harassment, due to my gender or my past behaviors. I gained some people’s trust and broke some people’s trust. I made friends in real life. I put myself in mental hospital due to suicidal ideation.
I am not the person I used to be when I graduated high school. I’ve pissed off some people meanwhile, but I’ve learned. I’ve grown. I’m still not as mature or as socially able as other people my age, but I am better. And I deserve to be proud of that.
TL;DR: I’ve grown.
Conclusion
This was a hard post to write. My heart is wrenched with disgruntled indignation (or as Tumblr calls, “smadness”) as I have been labeled anywhere from an abuser to a pedophile for years. Everywhere I go, I am always shunned for something I’ve done years ago that is also taken out of context. If this post doesn’t convince you that I’m not as horrible a person as the callout posts tell you I am, I don’t think any evidence will convince you about anything.
TL;DR: Please take time to read this post, and assess my situation from an unbiased standpoint.
In response to the accusations on the DDR XX server
Today I've been expelled from the DanceDanceRevolution XX project for this reason:
It is my greatest displeasure that [...] I must announce that [...] Haley Halcyon [...] has been dismissed from the project[...] Unfortunately, it has come to our attention that she has violated our rules on NSFW content, as well as harassment and bullying among members of the public while she has been with us.
I must say that I haven't the foggiest idea what they're talking about when they say that I violated their rules on NSFW content. I can understand the point about harassment and bullying, but I have resolved the situation afterward, and I have been improving my behavior over the years.
1. Concerning NSFW content
Since this expulsion was one-sided with no consultation or confrontation from any other member of the project, I don't know on what evidence that they based this decision.
The character Akira Sora is the mascot for my own music, and I happen to also have done some NSFW artwork using the character. I plead Rule 34 for this. Plus, I keep my SFW presence insulated from my NSFW presence.
I don't recall posting anything NSFW on the DDR XX server. I think this is unfair.
2. Concerning harassment and bullying
It's no surprise that people have called me a jerk before. I am aware that I have poor social skills, and that I have strong opinions on several topics.
However, I don't recall starting anything on the DDR XX server in the last year or so. I'm reasonably sure that all squabbles on that server have been resolved by now (I reconciled with Chewi and Oni).
Concerning evidence from, like, 2017 Tumblr
Tumblr and I have a long history together. I've had this account for donkey's (y)ears, and with an account like that, you're bound to find some dirt on me, from back when I should have known better.
I know I used to be a prick. I guess I'm still a prick, but I've made some significant progress, as I've been trying to be less of one.
I don't expect the people from DDR XX to reintroduce me into the project. I don't feel entitled to that. But what I do feel entitled to is a free and fair discussion of the situation involving me, them, and evidence.
Why is it that everyone who bashes people for drawing characters “too white” are also the ones that racebend characters into black people (even if they’re, like, Japanese)?
