Mac🌻

23| Scorpio sun| Pisces rising| Pisces moon|

[bluebandit-deactivated20220607]

Being weird together is the ultimate love language

[geryone]

The Sorrow Festival, Erin Slaughter

[anditslove]

Matt Haig, The Comfort Book

[deviika]

Fernando Pessoa // Michel Foucault

[inkskinned]

i think about you a lot and i think about you not thinking about me a lot and i think about how i don’t want to think about you but i think about it a lot and i don’t know i think too much i think too much and you exist somewhere that all these thoughts can’t even touch

[countessvongirlcula-deactivated]

[inkskinned]

i went out to eat just the once last week. i caught covid. it's funny; except for the parts that aren't. my fever is keeping a patient 1.9 degree change - up and down between 99 and 100.9. i like that it only whispers against that 101; i keep telling my mom i'm just glad for the vaccines. the irony is: i have already spent this month healing. i like the little pretty circle - one exact month ago (to the day! i laugh to her, holding up the test, to the exact day!), i got my heart broken by you. you stood there with your hands in fists and set your jaw in that way so-full-of-resentment. and then i was just... out of your life. so neatly demolished.

we met at the start of the pandemic. it's funny, except, bitterly, for the ways that it is not, and the hours i have spent on my floor, dominated by loss, sobbing into her collarbone. there are so many worse things happening at the moment; i feel petty and stupid to be laid out in bed. my therapist says my pious desire for quiet suffering is in the opposite direction of acceptance - but what else am i going to do? complain about it? post my paypal, so other people who are scraping-by can send me the money they need to feed themselves? and what will i do with that grief, knowing i shouldn't have taken what they cannot lose?

i can't quite outrun my catholic upbringing, i guess. i know i should be suffering in a witty, gentle way. i have this strange desire to forgive you, as if it would justify the violence. i keep picturing the unsaids between us; knowing the fictional conversations are spirals. i switch between the always-angry you made a choice about my needs and my future without talking to me first and the bitterly still-in-love sonnet of i would have changed for you.

this is the nature of healing. i drink my water. i write more than i used to, since you asked me to never write about you. i get up and i do gentle yoga. i get up and i take a little time to feel my body in the sunlight, and then i sleep for hours.

but it hurts the whole time, is the thing. over and over.

[becherdireinen]

I’m such a slut for casual intimacy. Like yesss rest your chin on my shoulder while we're in line at the grocery store, I live for that shit.

[artandchocolate]

Jane Austen - "Sense and Sensibility"

[lovemakesyouwonder]

[thoughtkick]

“Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.”

— Matt Kahn

[disgustinggf]

"my darling" "my love" "my girl" "my angel" let's merge souls rn

[nostalgic-suggestions]

love languages part 3 !

blurry photos taken mid laughter

running your thumb over their knuckles when you're holding someone's hand

reading a book someone mentioned, not necessarily to talk to them about it but just to understand them even a little better

writing lists for someone else

playing with their hair

[mournfulroses]

Adonis, tr. by Tsipi Keller, from a poem titled “A Mirror for the 20th Century,”

[danishdisco]

[holly-warbs]

two blues.

[virginiewoolf]