The Garbage Man

huehuehue

[thegarbagemansstuff]

Nobody understands me like my toaster at 3:17 am understands me

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[thegarbagemansstuff]

If there are land/terrestrial-only lifeforms and aquatic-only lifeforms, why aren’t there atmospheric-only lifeforms

[thegarbagemansstuff]

wheel of morality turn turn turn

tell us the lesson that we should learn

[thegarbagemansstuff]

I hate pesto

But it IS kind of fun to eat bc you can pretend you’re a magician with a speech impediment

[thegarbagemansstuff]

Forgetting to attend a class the entire semester and it messes up your graduation: the eternal nightmare

[thegarbagemansstuff]

If I became president of the United States of America my first act would be to make Yeah by Usher the national anthem for at LEAST a week

[thegarbagemansstuff]

If I became president of the United States of America my first act would be to make Yeah by Usher the national anthem for at LEAST a week

[thegarbagemansstuff]

Marv says hello! You got this!

[thegarbagemansstuff]

Damn don jr is the only kid trump wouldn’t travel to a tropical island to see

[thegarbagemansstuff]

My current extreme-morning-sickness diet would have 2007 ED tumblr in absolute shambles

[thegarbagemansstuff]

I dreamt about the craziest fantasy world last night.

This world was in a different (quantum?) realm than our normal world, and days and nights happened a lot quicker, and the humans who went to this realm (to learn magic incantations for some reason) almost instantly adapted to the new time schedule. I would call it a 24 hour schedule but i dont think hours existed in this place.

[thegarbagemansstuff]

Girl i’m bored lets haunt the narrative 🎀

[thegarbagemansstuff]

Hey so the name “morning sickness” IS a LIE bc it is really anytime sickness, for 6-8 weeks

Juuuust any ol time, you suddenly get a whiff of something on a breeze and blegh yartz vom

[thegarbagemansstuff]

The aires-virgo relationship 💕

[thegarbagemansstuff]

I love being a mom bc you just get to be the coolest thing in the world to the most loving thing in the world, and you get to love them back unconditionally!!!

Today my toddler just strolled (waddled) up to me and gave me a big hug and let out a deep breath like, “ahh my safe place, my mama” and we just stayed like that for a bit, bc he is my safe place, too.

And if u dont fuck it up by being a weirdo, you get to have that relationship forever 💕

[thegarbagemansstuff]

I’m pregnant and I am very scared for postpartum again….like what if i try to off myself fr this time