"Xi balba on my Tar 'til i Gét" --cubfan135

↑ he didn't say that but in my heart he did. 24, any prns, hermit/mcytshipping sideblog. occasional nsfw will NOT be tagged bc I'm lazy and this is my playground

[thegayofjoebraltar]

Will tidy this up as a proper pinned later maybe but for now, howdy! This is the Gay of Joebraltar, because if that ship were going straight it wouldn't have ended up wedged sideways blocking the way to the Hermitlantic 😎✨

This sideblog is just here for reblogging (maybe creating) shippy stuff about the block blorbos when I'm too lazy to tag it. Not too fussed about people guessing my main, we've moved on from 2019 and hermitblr's views on shipping are far more laid-back, thank gourd. :D

Under polyhermits there is no such thing as a "favourite ship"! But the big faves are convex, xbralis, jleo, joenvex, clethubs, grumbo, and every permutation of the Greater BdoubleO Polycule. Traffic Games and Empires crew will definitely make regular appearances, & I'm Aware of QSMP so there might be traces of that too.

Likely to contain smut etc but everything will be appropriately tagged with #nsfw. #hermitstripping is my tag for hermit-specific explicit art, and #stripped log bookshelf is for any explicit fics/fic-like long posts. Feel free to mute them.

[rpfalseren]

Falseren spotted in Olis Instagram stories !

This was for a Magic the Gathering event in London that Ren previously mentioned on stream he would be attending and was excited to recap to chat once he returned.

Photo Analysis notes:

1. Ren is wearing green shoes (perhaps the ones he brought while shopping with Cleo and False?).

2. You can see Falses(?) arm around ren, and if you zoom in, two little dots (fingers?) under falses other arm.

3. Both of them are leaning towards each other and are more paired off in the photo, only attached to each other.

[rpfalseren]

More photos !

[thegayofjoebraltar]

Tentatively adding "not very sensitive nipples" to my list of fun facts about joe that smut writers could probably do something fun or in-character with

[thegayofjoebraltar]

Other things on this list (that doesn't exist actually but i still notice things) include, yes, the duct tape mummification bondage moment from go26. But also: this semi-related bit that i'm just gonna yoink my own tags on main for bc i can't find the clip whoops.

So. "Not very vocal/emotive when reacting to stimuli in general" ✍️. Though☝️I'll add the caveat that this only applies when she's expecting it. I KNOW Joe can scream when jumpscared by Scar or wtv, we're just usually deprived of it due to push-to-talk & quick muting reflexes. Tragic

[thegayofjoebraltar]

Tentatively adding "not very sensitive nipples" to my list of fun facts about joe that smut writers could probably do something fun or in-character with

[xbeefralis]

Hc11!keralis def daydreams about xB in some skimpy-ass Roman garb feeding him grapes sexual style but xB for sure just wants to 360 no scope an arrow into Keralis’s forehead (also sexual style)

[cheesedoots]

This post has fucking Consumed Me I hope you're happy with yourself Mx. xBeefralis

[cheesedoots]

Uhhhhh,,, xbralis fans pspspspspsls cmere, I promise I won't hurt ya.

[normcdf]

this is an rpf blog now.

[jleo-enthusiast]

Just checked every universe and we're friends in each one

[jleo-enthusiast]

Just checked every universe and we're friends in each one

[jleo-enthusiast]

Just checked every universe and we're friends in each one

[jleo-enthusiast]

Just checked every universe and we're friends in each one

[jleo-enthusiast]

Just checked every universe and we're friends in each one

[riacte]

the damming thing is that hotel california is… a depressing song. but ren somehow completely recontextualises it. in his rewritten version, it’s basically like “i’m having a hard time in life but my good friend false is there and she will help me through my stuff (the meaning behind visiting the hotel false symmetria)” except he also describes her as shimmering and holding a candle. there was literally no need to describe her as a “light” but he did it anyway. she is standing at the doorway inviting him in. in the way he always barges into her base. “such a lovely place” is about false’s base. “such a lovely face” is about false. saying there’s plenty of room at the hotel is him saying “false is always there for me to drop by if i need support”.

“this could be heaven or this could be hell” i believe is supposed to be a critique on the american dream or something. but ren, by quickly saying “definitely hell”, transforms this into “spending time with false could be heaven or could be hell”. which he has to quickly clarify is definitely hell. because it couldn’t be heaven right. right. he could’ve just glossed it over as part of the og song lyrics but he had to make some shit happen.

tldr i’m mad ren made his own version of the song that is vastly different from the og song and what it means and his yearning is oozing through every guitar strum. then again, literally how does his brain operate. why did he choose this song in particular and then make it sound sooo….

[riacte]

second damming thing is that false was just giggling and looking at him the whole time in the way she was giggling and looking at him in the charity stream in real life

[falseren]

i fear ren is dangerously close to doing shit like sending false flowers for her birthday irl and buying her cake and then when he unnecessarily tells the story to chat, because why should we know about this, he’ll call false his friend five times and then she comes to kill him in the game and literally nothing else happens

[falseren]

and it’s going to be some shit like “i always spam her base with flowers so i wanted to reference that :D” while getting her red roses because it’s supposed to be the rose bushes from minecraft

[falseren]

and then cleo will say some shit like “she’s the only one he’ll ever send roses to” like it makes sense and gem will chime in with a deceptively innocent “i hope false had a great birthday with ren!” and literally nothing happens

[zedif-y]

this is the closest i'll get to posting about my feelings about how people treat the ranchers in the fandom, and while i truly don't get the need to put that ship above all other jimmy pairings/relationships, my biggest gripe has always been how tango's other relationships get pushed to the sidelines in favor of them. like skizz. ESPECIALLY skizz.

[riacte]

[smirking in a vaguely smug way] cub/ren/martyn polycule. reblog

[riacte]

it’s great that it can feasibly expand to cub/ren/martyn/joe/cleo/false/scar

[mumbeau]

yay 🧟‍♂️👻