Meeting Your Daughter's New Boyfriend? 15 Questions to Ask
Your daughter might always be a little girl to you but before you know it, she’s all grown up and telling you about her boyfriend. So you’d then ask yourself, when will I meet my daughter’s new boyfriend? Or, should I talk to my daughter’s boyfriend and make sure he has good intentions? Meeting the boyfriend could go several ways, from awkward to fun, from tense to great. One thing’s for sure, sooner or later, you’ll have to talk to your daughter’s new boyfriend. That first meeting could very well set the tone of your relationship with him and may very well affect your relationship with your daughter. So what should you talk about during the crucial first meeting?
15 Questions to Ask Your Daughter’s Boyfriend
Any parent will surely want to get to know the person dating their daughter. This is especially so if there are already talks of marriage. It may not always be easy though as there are several factors at play. There’s your actual relationship with your daughter, are you close or do you barely talk with each other? How old is your daughter; is she still living under your roof or a grown independent woman? Then there’s your personality. Are you one to easily get along well with someone or talk to someone you just met, or are you the quiet kind who feels awkward around new people?
Whatever the circumstances may be, here are some questions you might want to ask your daughter’s new boyfriend. You can ask them all or leave out the questions you’re uncomfortable asking. Still, take note of each question, who knows, you might get a chance to ask them later on when you’ve known your daughter’s boyfriend a bit better.
Take note though that even if you are the parent, this is someone that your daughter chose to be with. Make sure not to ask anything or act in a way that would negatively impact their relationship. Of course, that is not to say that you should be honest with your daughter about your thoughts on her boyfriend.
Where are you from?
This is to know about where he was born, his roots so to speak. This is a great opening question to learn more about his childhood. You can have follow-up questions about how their family spends time together and similar questions.
Where do you currently live?
With this question, you can find out whether he owns his place or is renting; does he have a house or a condo? You can also find out about his neighborhood if only to be at ease when your daughter goes to his place.
Which college did you go to?
If he’s still in college, you can ask where. This could be your opening question in finding out about what he was or is like as a student. You can also segue to questions about his job or his career plans.
How often do you visit your parents?
This question is a great opener to learn more about his family and his relationship with them. You can also ask about their siblings, how close they are. Of course, know when to stop probing especially if there’s an obvious rift in their family. If he does happily talk about his family, then that’s a great sign indeed.
Do you play any sports?
You can ask about any sports he plays or his favorite teams if any. You can also go ahead and ask about any other hobbies or interests he might have. Is he into music or perhaps he is into martial arts? This is a great way to find out about anything that you can bond over.
Do you cook?
This could also cover questions about his favorite food or even any food allergies. This is an excellent way to find out what you could prepare during their next visit or what to bring in case he invites you over to his place.
Do you like to travel?
This is a filler question, you can ask any other more laid-back question as well. This is to make it feel more like just a getting-to-know conversation and not an interrogation.
What do you like to do for fun?
This could be another laid-back question. Also, this could be a way to learn more about his personality. Is he the quiet type who likes to stay home? Or is he the more adventurous kind?
Are you religious?
This is an especially important question if you are a religious family or if your daughter is religious. They must be united in their religious beliefs or, at the very least, he understands and respects your daughter’s faith.
What’s the craziest or wildest thing you’ve ever done?
Now, pay close attention to how he answers this question. If it’s some anecdote from his high school or college days that actually reminds you of what you were up to in the past, then that’s well and good. If he speaks about some drunken road trip or other similar events then that could be a red flag.
How did you meet my daughter?
This could be a great opening question to find out more about his relationship with your daughter. This is a way to know about his version of the story.
Which of my daughter’s characteristics attracts you the most?
This will give you a chance to gauge his feelings about your daughter. Pay attention to the way he describes or talks about your daughter.
How long have you been dating?
Again, this is a great question to learn more about their relationship. If they’ve been dating for a while, then you can expect that he’d know your daughter better by now.
Have you ever been married or engaged?
This is important, especially if they are talking about moving in together or getting engaged. This can also give you an insight into how he handles relationships.
What are your intentions with my daughter?
This is a serious question that has to be asked sooner rather than later. Of course, as a parent, you’d want the best for your daughter, and that includes a man that sees his future with her in it.