SHADOW MILK COOKIE

It was forever— or maybe it just felt like forever before Shadow Milk opened his eyes again. The world… much more apparent.

…And much too bright. He groans and covers his eyes. His head is pounding with pain, has to be the worst migraine he’s ever had.

He shifts, with what little energy he has, pulling himself upright. Urggg…

- @thegreatbeastofdeceit (nearly typed greast. the greast beast…)

★ : Greast sounds like grease..the grease beast😱😱

With whatever strength he mustured, he looked around his room. It was pretty quiet, the brightness fading a little as he slowly got back to his senses.

But something felt..off, like there was something weighing on him. More specifically his legs- ah.

"mhnn.." Truthless murmured softly, he was sat at the edge of Shadow Milk's bed and eventually fell asleep. Currently resting his head on Shadow Milk.

…

Recluse…? He’s pretty sure… He reaches out… or more correctly uses his magic to move himself, brushing his hand along his face… pulling back some of his hair and tucking it away from his face.

…

He can’t remember what even happened… Why does recluse look… worried, even in his sleep? Recall… recall…

Ah right… he used a gun… that explained the hammering pain in his skull… He forced the extra eyes in his hair to close… less blinding…

…

“….’clus… ‘m…” Geez, he can’t even muster an apology to him. After all he’s put him through… A single apology is impossible, to him asleep?! He didn’t deserve recluse. Not the soft sweetness of him he’d come to love… not any form of him did he deserve…. He looks away.

He’d disappear again if he could… but he doesn’t have energy for it. No… Nor would he. Recluse… didn’t deserve that. He seemed so worried.

Thank goodness Recluse is a light sleeper.

"..? mhm- oh.." He muttered out, eyes opening a little just to make sure if Shadow Milk was alright. After taking a glance, he sat up slowly. A soft yawn as he reached out to check Shadow Milk's wound

"It's healing well..good.." He said to himself, before gently caressing Shadow Milk's head in an attempt to soothe his headache.

"Your heads probably banging.. don't talk too much, alright? Use that energy to help with the headache. You can tell me once your head's cleared.."

He flinches away, less out of pain… more caught up in his head. He didn’t deserve recluse being so gentle. Why was he so… perfect?! And why did he have to like him!?

He just looks away and down, staring at the bed. Then… carefully shaking his head, in an effort to not make his headache worse.

“…’m… ssss…” Urgh! Say it! You awful beast just say it, he deserves an apology!! “Ssss…orry.”

He pulls his knees up to his chest, curling up, “f’r… everyth’n’…”

"Ah-..don't cry dear-..!" He panicked a little, getting onto the bed to sit beside Shadow Milk. A small sigh as he tugged his arm lightly to encourage him to lean on his shoulder.

"You don't have to say sorry.. especially not for that attempt. Calm yourself first and then we'll properly apologize for whatever.. alright?" While blunt, he meant it sincerely. Holding Shadow Milk loosely, he rested his head on his chest.

Was he crying? He lifted his hand— Sure enough. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, he quickly wiped them away, letting his tail flop around Recluse. He didn’t quite have the energy yet to hug Recluse…

…He didn’t protest either, to being moved around, nor what he said… instead just burying his face against Recluse, his tail tightening around him.

They sat in silence for a good while, and after maybe an hour..Shadow Milk had calmed down a little.

"you feeling a little better now? Ah..come here." He comforted, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"You can tell me now..or later, whatever feels best." He added, his face full of worry despite the usual deadpanned expression he caries.

…

He gently prodded him with his tail, staring for a moment… then looking away. His strength was decently back again… “…Am… Do…” He hesitates. Words are so hard. Being vulnerable has to be the worst thing ever… and yet necessary.

“…Do… you… want to be free… of me?” He questioned, looking down at the ring around his hand, frowning, “I… saw you… with that gun… you… didn’t hesitate…”

...

Hes silent for a moment, unsure of how to respond. What did Shadow Milk say..?

"free of you?" He repeated gently, a hint of confusion in his voice as he tilted his head.

"Shadow Milk, dear... what do you mean?" He asked, holding Shadow Milk's hand loosely. "..The gun? Ah.."

..."That was an impulsive thought..but, no. I don't want to, wherever did you get that idea from?"

“…” His tail twitches… and curls around himself, glaring at nothing in particular. “You… didn’t hesitate… you didn’t even tremble… you didn’t know that it’d be confetti…”

“I… thought you wanted to be free… i…” He runs his free hand through his hair… and pulls on it, hiding his face under it.

“…I mean…! I can’t blame you…!! with… all the terrible… things i’ve… done…” He shakes his head, wincing at the pain, “I’ve… hurt you… hurt everyone… lied to you… ‘m not a good husband… or a good father…”

“…since you failed… I… thought… hell… i thought i’d free you of me… never have to put up with any of my problems again.. you could go back… to your friends… ‘n never have to see your… beast again.”

He pulls his hair over his face, hiding.

"..This is nonsense."

He muttured, a sigh as he moved his hair away to show his face. His expression visibly worried now. "My reasons of death didn't involve you, they never have."

"Yes, I'll admit you have hurt other cookies..but can you really blame urself? It wasn't entirely your fault."

"Maybe not the best husband, but it's more than I could ever ask for..and there is still room to improve as a father, so why frown on it now.."

He hummed, cupping Shadow Milk's face gently with a firm but solemn expression. "my friends..are beside the point. You know you can't die..and I don't want you to die. We are two halves of the same soul, how could I begin to even forget you?"

"..Shadow Milk, dear. My reasons are not your fault."

#★ this wasn't supposed to happen.#//HEY DONTT WORRY ABOUT IT /GEN #YOU’VE GOT OTHER THINGS IN YOUR LIFE GOING ON SO DONT APOLOGIZE #TAKE AS LONG AS YA NEED :D #dont ask what time it is when i posted this. Simple answer i had a nightmare #< also bc of that if theres anything weird i was probably half asleep while writing it

He stares— He looks like he’s about to cry again, eyes getting glassy as he stares at him. Crud, probably did some damage to his emotional receptors because why does he keep crying-?!?

He opens and closes his mouth… unfortunately thats a pretty good argument, not something easy to protest against.

What he’ll have to settle on is an angry, sniffling prod to his side, pouting.

“…..y’broke your promise…” He tries to wipe some of his tears away, trying to hide again in his hair, “…’n y’can’t… even… preeeeteeend t’be… mad..? t’hate me…?”

No… of course he couldn’t. He was too good, too good for this entire world, too good for him. He’d probably be actually angry when he was in a better place to handle it.

…That makes him a little more mad. He prods him a little harder with his tail.

"Sercet~!"

“Oohhh boooooo.”

He flops over, lying down and looking up at the sky.

"Yours truly" nilla nods.

“Oh? Me… Hmm~? What about me? What made it so pleasant?” His tail tightens, smiling at him, “Ooorr still a secret?”

"One might say its curling around me right now." Pure vanilla smile widens.

He stops— Pausing, “Ooohh~? What? Got a pleasant memory with my tail?” He imagines his tail— forcing it into a little mouth, “Do tell~???” The mouth disappears and he leans eeeven closer, “Or yours truly?”

"I'd rather not." Pure vanilla shakes his head. "Though I will say it was something pleasant."

“Ohhh booo… Pleasant and I don’t get to know?” He grumbled, moving his tail to curl around himself, pouting.

Pure vanilla says nothing more, deciding to stay quiet now.

“C’mon… spill the beans,” He reaches, twirling a little bit of Pure Vanillas hair around his finger… then he lets go, “Oooorrr donn’t!! Siiiigh…”

And now suddenly Pure vanilla feels all too aware of there proximity, shifting his hands around. "No.." His voice sounded tight.

“Oh?” He grins a little more. This’ll be fun. He tensed, looking like he’s torn between looking away and looking at him. “You’re a terrible liar! At least to the beast of deceit!”

"No." He said that a beat too fast..sigh

“So fast with the responses!” He leans closer, pulling Pure Vanilla in closer… “Do you have something you’re hiiiiding~?”

"Are you sure that is all?" He ask one more time..

“Yeeesss… Do you have something you’d like me to know~?”

Pure vanilla rolls his eyes at the tease.. "Ah..good, good."

He giggles, his tail tip wagging slightly before settling back down, leaning a little against Pure Vanilla.

While shadow milk is thinking about that letter once more, Pure vanilla decides to speak again. "So, what did you hear in my dream?" A silly question. Shadow milk probably didnt even hear much.

“Wind… walking… you talking with me,” He hummed, grinning, “Flattered really, you dream about me~?” He teased, gently poking his side with his tail… he heard… “The quiet, and the cracking of the cliff too.” He shrugs, “Not much else before I decided to step in!”

Pure vanilla lets out a concerned hum. "If you say so." He leans on him softly.

He… starts purring again, leaning against him.

His mind wanders back to the letter. It was moved… but never any confirmation he read it… or even reciprocated— No, if he was going to do a… proper confession, he’s not doing it when they’re in his mind, or when they’re telepathically linked…

…he wishes he could know. But ALAS! He won’t be doing that amount of poking!

"How much mana, exactly are you using by staying here?"

“Boooo… thats your concern?”

…He got his hopes up for something else.

“Not a lot. My mana should replenish faster— or at least equal to what this takes. The real thing that drains it in this spell is getting in… Buuuut i’m already in so~!”

Theres this silence.. until pure vanilla decides to break it. "Shadow milk.."

“Pure Vanilla..”

He shifts, smiling and moving to be able to see his face.

“Yees~?”