The Gruntled Mudgeon

[thegruntledmudgeon-blog]

Farewell, Tumblr; Hello, Wordpress

Please follow The Gruntled Mudgeon to its new home on Wordpress.  Tumblr is great for bloggers who curate images, and Tumblr members who want to "reblog" those images.  For short essays, or for readers who are not Tumblr members, it's not so hot.   

Come on over!

[thegruntledmudgeon-blog]

Frank Bruni: Not Every Critic Has The Makings Of A Columnist

Did you ever watch the guys play basketball on the public outdoor courts in the West Village?  These guys are regulars, and usually, they have the right to the court because they've been winning games all day.  They're incredibly good, but they'll never play in the NBA. 

There's no word (except perhaps for the now-suddenly-tarnished "exceptionalism") for the indescribable magic that separates the incredibly good from the great.  And yet, it's that magic that sends one basketball player to the pros and another to the asphalt courts (or, one pianist to Carnegie Hall and another to leading boozy Barry Manilow singalongs at the Duplex).  Yet, somehow, we all know the difference.

The New York Times has consistently found or groomed remarkable opinion columnists.  These writers have an imposing combination of skills:  They have the nose for an interesting angle, a gargantuan inventory of facts and anecdotes seemingly at their fingertips (I mean, how do they manage to remember that quote from Henry Kissinger that fits so completely into a story about Chick Fil-A?), a polemecist's instinct for debate, and to varying degrees a dry sense of humor to leaven the commentary.  Oh, and of course they can write. 

Frank Rich was a master commentator (still is, at New York Magazine) who started out as a theater critic and was moved by the Times to the editorial page.  Not being above the show-biz tradition of "if they liked it once, they'll love it twice," the Times brought Frank Bruni over from restaurant reviewing (he'd also been their Rome bureau chief).  Perhaps they were seduced by his very funny and insightful memoir, "Born Round."  (In fact, in his email to the staff announcing the move, Bill Keller explained that Bruni was moving to the Sunday Week In Review because the publication of his book would burn him as a "spy in the land of food"). 

That was in May 2009.  Frank started as a columnist a year ago, in June 2011.  As former Mayor Ed Koch would say, how's he doin'?

Like those schoolyard basketball players, not bad, but not great.

Frank Bruni is a fine writer with a breezy style and a distinct point of view, but he isn't a polemicist.  Rather than building an argument from a wealth of data, his columns are more like news stories:  New York City has added more parks in the past 15 years; a lesbian is running for Congress in Wisconsin; this year's presidential election will be all about mega-fundraising.  The columns don't weave together an argument from an array of interesting and illuminating facts....mostly, they rely on well-trod information from the day's headlines.  And, most important, they don't come to strong conclusions, let alone the sort that might spark Monday-morning water-cooler conversation.  

The best examples would be the columns that tackle the largest issues - the big, Shakespearean themes that underlie the headlines - and particularly those that do so through the lens of his own distinct view as a gay man.  Here are a couple. 

In one column, he took on right-wing politicians' hypocrisy on the issue of homosexuality.  Not an easy topic on which to plow new ground.  Unfortunately, he framed the issue by devoting the first half of the column to Bristol Palin's opposition to same-sex marriage (Bristol Palin?  In 2012?), admitting she's an "easy target," and analogizing criticizing her to shooting a moose from a helicopter...but going on to explain that she "perfectly distills the double standards and audacity of so many of our country’s self-appointed moralists and supposed traditionalists: hypocrites whose own histories, along with any sense of shame, tumble out the window as soon as there’s a microphone to be seized or check to be cashed."  Okay!  Now we're talking.  Name some names, Frank!  Unfortunately, the rest of the column is limited to observing that (a) Rush Limbaugh hired Elton John to perform at his wedding; and (b) Mitt Romney is "holding back" on this issue because Republican donors don't want the party to be tied to narrow-minded theocracy. 

In another column, he took on what promised to be a fascinating topic:  Hungary's retrograde tilt toward oppressing Jews and gays.  His support for this thesis, though, consisted of an interview with a Hungarian woman and a "going nowhere" bill that would have classified homosexuality as a "perversion," but which was not supported by most Hungarian citizens.  Not bad for a population that Frank describes at the onset as "10 million people with a tropism toward beer and a talent for brooding." 

Most recently, Frank is taking up the jokey style of his colleagues like Gail Collins.  In this week's column, he approaches the (unfortunately, one-dimensional) fact that some pollsters are surveying possible 2016 presidential votes.  He weaves in comical metaphors ("Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee so close they might as well be tucked into the same sweater vest") and outlandish projections of the 2020 race (Sarah Palin combines her candidacy announcement with the "debut of her Wasilla lounge act, 'Rock & Rogue, and the rollout of a signature eyewear collection at LensCrafters nationwide").  But, there's no "there" there.  What does it mean that pollsters are surveying 2016 votes?  What should we take away from that?  (And, what is this fascination with the Palins?)

Here's my take-away.  The long tail of Internet creativity means that more people than ever - bloggers, hyperlocal journalists, YouTube video commentators - are honing their edge of commentary.  One of them will have that undefinable magic.  That one should be writing for the Times. 

[thegruntledmudgeon-blog]

Google, why have you abandoned me?

I do not "app."  I do not play Words with Birds.  My phone is not smart.  I am out of place among the hundreds of fellow commuters who use expensive electronic devices to play Solitaire.  The only tablet I use is my daily dosage of baby aspirin.  As for pads, I leave that to your imagination. 

(Really, these things are so small they should be called tablet-ettes).

My only electronic devices are a work-issued Blackberry phone and a Windows computer.  And, that is the reason that Google thinks I don't exist.

Over the years, I've relied...maybe that's too weak a word...my life has depended on two Google products.  First, Google Desktop, which magically keeps a searchable record of every Web page I visit, every document I create, and every email I send or receive.  This is a Godsend for those of us who are memory-challenged. 

And, second, iGoogle, a vaguely smutty-sounding Google home page that gathers together all of my RSS feeds and bookmarks. 

(Clearly, this is not MY iGoogle page.  After at least ten lessons, I still can't follow the game of cricket).

Google, however, has decided that Google Desktop and iGoogle are no longer needed in this age of apps.  Google Desktop has been phased out, and iGoogle will be gone next year. Can dinosaurs cry?

So, before they are lost forever, here are the blogs, feeds, and bookmarks that are on my iGoogle page, and why I love 'em.

ARCHITECTURAL HISTORY:  I love walking tours.  These blogs are like taking a walking tour with a friend who can take you to the coolest places and explain just why they're so cool.

Nathan Kensinger Photography:  This brilliant madman sneaks into the decaying hidden corners of New York City, brings back photos, and uncovers the history of the location and how it came to fall on hard times. 

Forgotten New York: For thirteen years, Kevin Walsh has explored the forgotten alleys, cemeteries, neighborhoods, and odd historical vestiges of New York. 

Scouting New York: Nick Carr works as a movie location scout, and for that reason has his head up when most folks keep theirs down.  He creates elaborate, lovingly-researched articles...for example, where all of the exterior shots in "Annie Hall" of "Taxi Driver" were taken and what is at that location now, or the magical mystery of First Avenue and First Street (and what that ship captain's house is doing up on roof of a building there). 

THE TRAVEL BLOGS:

The Everywhereist:  When Geraldine was laid off from her desk job, she decided to begin tagging along on her husband's constant business travel....and to turn her experiences into a gut-bustingly funny, charming, and life-affirming blog.  She is my blogging hero.

Candice Does The World:  What is a single, fun-loving gal to do when she loses her day job?  Make a deal with the under-35 party-travel company Contiki, go where the fun is, and blog about it!

THE FRIENDS:

Roger Ebert's Journal: I call Roger Ebert a friend, because he interacts with all of the readers who post comments on his thoughtful and sometimes controversial blog.  Until I read his memoir, I had no idea that the more laid-back half of Siskel & Ebert had led such a rich life of intellect, travel, and deep friendships with directors and actors.  Now, of course, he does not speak or eat, and much of his passion, curiosity, and wit goes into his blog.

Doing Lines:  The exploits of the print designer turned interaction designer Barbara de Wilde, who I call a friend because if I don't she'll bop me in the head while we are sleeping.    

AND MORE:

The Underground New York Public Library:   Ever taken a bus or train and tried to sneak a peek at what book another rider is reading?  This blog takes surreptitious photos of New York subway riders reading books, figures out what the book is, and then gives links to libraries and book sellers who offer that book. 

Theater Extras:  Or, as we like to call it, butts-in-the-seats-dot-com.  Theater producers have extra seats.  You have a butt.  For $99, join this service that offers free seats to theater and music events that are looking to fill the house. 

Abbey Road Cam: Pure mindless fun.  Watch in real time as tourists cross the zebra-stripe crossing outside Abbey Road Studios where the Beatles album cover was shot.

Even more fun than the Pier 39 Sea Lion Cam.   

[thegruntledmudgeon-blog]

My Very Own Jew (continued)

So, if I were to have a heart to heart with my very own Jew, Yisroel, it would go something like this. 

Yisroel, my Reb Yid, I am a secular American Jew.  That is, I have a warm kinship for other Jews, but I do not practice the faith, and the religion itself remains a mystery to me.  Although I was a Bar Mitzvah, when I was called back to temple a year later, I told the rabbi that I had become a Buddhist.  I did not marry into the faith.  I eat cheeseburgers.

It seems I'm not alone.  According to the National Jewish Population Study (for which the last data are from 2000-2001), ten years ago Jews represented less than two percent of the American population.  Of those, more than half married outside the faith.  And, of those, only 20 to 30 percent raised their children as Jewish.

This is puzzling.  The Jews that I know all feel a strong connection to Judaism, at least as an ethnic group.  Jews are a vibrant and successful part of our country's culture and economy.  (Outdoors life and sports, not so much).  So, why do we treat the religion so indifferently?

Here's what I think. 

There is not a lot of what the Internet marketers would call "stickiness" to the Jewish religion. Among other reasons (and putting aside monotheistic ethics and the community of Jews), the core of the religion seems to be obedience and tribalism, neither of which is attractive to many modern Jews. 

As for obedience, a "righteous Jew" is one who obeys the mitzvot (commandments), of which there are 613 (though most of them do not apply to modern American Jews).  Unlike the commandments of most other religions, the reasons for these mitzvot do not seem immediately logical or emotionally powerful:  From the most well-known (the kosher laws, which despite later rationalizations, did not derive from ancient health codes) to the most obscure (mitzvah #491, you must break the neck of a calf by the river if there is an unsolved murder), many of the commandments seem arbitrary and illogical.  Even more confounding, the mitzvot have been analyzed to death for two millenia by yeshiva bochers and rabbis, who have created a massive oral tradition of even more prolix and granular sub-rules (one example being, you can create an "eruv" area that is exempt from certain commandments by running a wire from trees and telephone poles).  

Thus, the day-to-day practice of Judaism is one of obeying a host of laws, which often are divorced from any obvious logic or emotional power.  My guess is that this religion of obedience does not sit well with modern Jews, who come from a culture of independence and skepticism.   

As for tribalism, let's face it:  Our religion is a tribal religion that was born from tribal conflicts.  Philistines, Babylonians, Romans, Egyptians - we fought 'em all. King Josiah assembled the Torah in about 600 B.C.E. as a political screed, which presented the history of the Jews as the history of the Kingdom of Judah (and its historic king, David) rather than the Kingdom of Israel. 

Whether because of this tribal heritage or because Jews have often been under attack for the two millenia since, Judaism is now an us-vs-them religion.  Orthodox Jews are exceedingly insular...don't try to buy a Hamentaschen in a Crown Heights bakery if you're not wearing payes.  Jewish philanthropists focus their largesse on helping the Jews.  Jewish mothers pray for their kinder to marry other Jews.  My guess here is that this "is it good for the Jews?" tribalism also is not particularly appealing to modern, assimilation-minded, liberal-thinking American Jews.

Obviously a secular Jew is still a Jew.  For example, Albert Einstein was not an observant Jew, but he referred to his "Jewish soul" and believed in a non-personal God-force present throughout nature.  As to the more orthodox part of Judaism, he made clear that he had "no use for the religion of fear and equally little for social or moral religion."  If Judaism is to survive, maybe it needs to survive more as a set of values, an instinctive feeling of Jewish soul (nefesh), and a supportive community, and less as a set of commandments and an insular tribe.  

So, Yisroel, I won't be putting on the tefillin.  But, you've made me think. For that, I thank you.    

[thegruntledmudgeon-blog]

My Very Own Jew!

The line is from the musical Company; Amy, who’s Catholic, recalls that when she first met Paul, she imagined falling in love with him and having “my very own Jew!” (Though, in the bang-up 2008 revival, doesn’t Paul (Robert Cunningham) look as Mormon as Mitt Romney, while Amy [Heather Laws] could be your quirky cousin Sophie?)

Anyway, it turns out that I also have my very own Jew.  His name is Yisroel, and he's from Australia.  Our courtship, however, has been a bit fraught.

Yisroel is a Lubavitch orthodox Jew.  He spends his Fridays (pre-sundown, natch) roaming through our office building, asking in each office whether any Jews work there.  Because I travel so often, I missed him for several weeks.  However, a few weeks ago (at least, in the version of the story I prefer), when I was away, Yisroel cornered my office-mate Jeff Weinstein and asked him whether, by any chance, Weinstein might be a Jew.  His response? "Not me!  Now, Sheldon over there.  HE'S a Jew!"

I, meanwhile, heard about Yisroel's visits, and wondered what I would say to him once we met.  I knew that the Lubavitch are committed to bringing secular Jews like me into orthodox Jewish practice - but how? I assumed he would come well-prepared with some probing questions and polemic points.  Of course, I could have told him just to go away; but talking to him promised to be more interesting than writing another coverage opinion for AIG.

Finally, I was in the office when Yisroel visited.  He turned out to be a young rabbinical student, as meek and pliant as the Barbra Streisand character in Yentl. 

He made some polite small talk, told me he is studying at the rabbinic school in Morristown, and asked me if I happened to want to put on some tefiliin.  Well, no.  I guess even orthodox boys want to get right to third base....no candy, no flowers.  Then, after ten minutes, he was gone, leaving me with his weekly copy of Rabbi Schneerson's newsletter. 

I haven't seen Yisroel since.  However, he got me thinking about Judaism and about the Lubavitch and Satmar sects in our area.  More in a separate post....