The Happy Bartender

People tell me to smile way too much. 

[thehappybartender]

Does it bother

anybody else when people order their food before their drink.

Like..

“Are you ready for some drinks?”

“Yea... can I have the 3 chicken tenders. And a rum and coke.”

Just me... ok.

Maybe it bothers me so much because of how our computer system is set up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[thehappybartender]

Just like employees are all replaceable👏🏼 so 👏🏼are 👏🏼regulars... ✌🏼

[thehappybartender]

Bartender from the UK here, wanted to contribute. This job has made me despise the French. I know it's a culture thing but I've received the Archers Salute (like a UK specific version of flipping the bird) so many times it's lost all meaning, I've had piles of coins dumped onto my counter top - even with my hand right there, not bringing their money to the counter, and walking off expecting me to bring their drinks to them. And all the coffee only orders, when there's a Starbucks next door.

Some people. I’ve refused service to people who cuss or flip me off. I also leave the drinks on the bar until the come pick it up. We have servers for that lol. And thank god my bar doesn’t serve hot drinks. I’ll pray for you.

[thehappybartender]

People who ask “can you make my drink strong but make it still taste good?” won’t tip 100% of the time.

[thehappybartender]

DO NOT..

Do not put your empty cups, trash or signed receipt papers on the bar mats!

Just don’t.

Especially while I’m in the middle of making a drink/ shot.

[thehappybartender]

It’s SOOOOOO funny when you guys ask for a Dos XX while holding up two fingers. And then get told you only wanted one. Its SOOOOO great. 

[thehappybartender]

Annoying Question #8

Whats your strongest drink? 

We are a bar. We have many drinks. Be an adult and tell me what drink you want. 

[thehappybartender]

Have you ever tipped another server/bartender and then seen them at your bar and they tipped you as much as you tipped them?

When will it end?

[thehappybartender]

As i was sweeping the back patio, minding my own damn business, somebody really said “You look bored”. 

Oh I’m sorry, I forgot I’m fucking Mrs. Doubtfire and I should be dancing while I sweep. 

[thehappybartender]

Being positive #2

I’m HORRIBLE at math. So horrible that it makes me cry. 

But since I’ve started working as a bartender I can math like I have never mathed before. 

The down side is that I can only do math while I’m at work. 

[thehappybartender]

“Is Joe here?”

-“No he’s off until tomorrow.

“Is Ruben here?”

-“No he is not.”

“Where is Maggie?”

...

 BITCH! 🙌🏼 IM HERE.

[thehappybartender]

Before...

working as a bartender, one night I was having drinks with a guy friend. I told him to ask one of the bartenders that was serving us for her number. She was cute and it seemed like they were hitting it off. What he said has stuck with me, it is so very true.

He said “You should never hit on a bartender. They get hit on so many times that they usually don’t ever take it seriously.”

It gets old. I do appreciate the “you’re beautiful” every now and then, but let’s keep it at that. 😊

[thehappybartender]

I love reading our yelp reviews. I’ll also read neighboring bars/clubs and it’s hilarious at some of the things people will complain about. 

I wasn’t let in because I didn’t have a proper i.d. 

-Well no shit.

I wasn’t let in because I had Jordon’s on. This establishment is racist. 

-What?

I wasn’t allowed in because I had a neck tattoo and because IM a veteran this establishment doesn't support out troops. 

-HUH?

[thehappybartender]

The nerve of some people..

If it’s busy and you see that the bartenders are going to be a minute before they get to you this is the time to get your order straight and form of payment ready to hand over. 

If i finally get to you and you TURN AROUND to ask your friends what they want I WILL MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PERSON. 

[thehappybartender]

Annoying Question #7

Him- Can I have a beer?

Me- Sure, what kind of beer?

Him- Any kind. 

Me- Are you sure?

Him- Yea! Just surprise me. 

*hands him a Blue Moon. 

Him- Ummm I don’t like Blue Moon. 

[thehappybartender]

Intitled much?

Have you ever been to a bar so much that you think you know everybody there?

That when you see somebody new working there you think you know more than them?

That you deserve to be treated like royalty?

If you do, you are a douche.

[thehappybartender]

This one is IMPORTANT.

Being rude is not going to make me want to help you.

People who are nice and understanding are the ones that get the quickest discounts or food taken off without hesitation. 

They are the ones that will get extra shots or a free drink. 

Being rude will get you nothing. It will make me hope and pray that I never see you again.