stuck in fantasy land

blub blub bitch

[exceptionals]

*is up* *doesnt click like because im pretending to be asleep*

[erthemesong-deactivated20190126]

me after eating a large meal: i am never eating again !!

me thirty minutes later:

[bewbin]

Why do you want to be a comedian?

the free stool with a glass of water on it 

[tentacrab-deactivated20150223]

“did you get enough sleep?”

[nintendowii2011]

[fuks]

[princess-pizzas]

This is the content I came to see on this website

[old-manrupee]

They’re learning how to open .rar files

[sexemulators]

If you leave without a reason dont come back with an excuse.

Unknown (via quotethatword)

[sagihairius]

CAPTCHA  1: check this box

CAPTCHA 2: select all the rivers

CAPTCHA 3: which of these tiny pictures has an apple in it

CAPTCHA 4: can you find where you went wrong in your life

CAPTCHA 5: select the reasons why my wife left me

[softwaring]

[cherrypitgoddess]

my latest 2016 aesthetic includes baby cows standing in fields of flowers

[thehappypenguin-blog]

me: oh!!! i think i did alright on this one thing!!!

literally anyone: *does thing slightly better than me*

me: i am absolutely disgusting and i should never attempt this thing ever again.

[thebootydiaries]

me getting robbed on an elevator: that’s wrong on so many levels haha :)

robber:

me:

robber:

me:

robber:

me: honestly? the fact that u dont appreciate,

[seajaee]

Current mood: Bob Belcher saying ‘oh my god’

[the90swerentreal]

One time in high school I was waiting to talk to the Vice Principal and this other kid came in and sat down next to me. He said “What are you in for?” And I said “Oh, they just want to know if it’s cool if I miss my classes tomorrow to run sound and lights for a presentation in the auditorium. What are you in for?” and he said that he stabbed a kid with a screwdriver. I told him we led very different lives and he agreed.

[thehappypenguin-blog]

Me On Chopped

Judges: she's just, she's just shoving food into her jacket, she's literally just here to steal food,

[thehappypenguin-blog]

me @ my body: perhaps... since it's summer... you could sleep without the blanket?

my body: interesting thought! interesting thought. but no

[willow]

How cute

[hereiyan-deactivated20200202]

me today

[onnaise-blog]

Swallowing glass just to stay pure

[may]

if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass