the hot mess press

I'll let you inside my head, inside my heart, but you'll always be on the outside looking in on my unique path in this crazy life.

[thehotmesspress]

[thehotmesspress]

Step aside

[thehotmesspress]

#Meangirlssuck

[thehotmesspress]

Private blogs

Since I promised to be real always on here and write about me raw I must say I do write blogs more often than I post. I keep them private. I vow to be honest but I won't air any one else's business if I feel it's too private. I've been really stressed out earlier this year to do other people's actions. I have realized that my fault. I take on others issues hardcore. Really it's just so I don't have. To think about my own fucked up life.

[thehotmesspress]

I am a beautiful disaster

A client told me she hated my blog name in a letter after an appt. This actually made me feel insecure instead of a million other emotions. I don’t think being a hot mess is that bad. I truly am one. I own a business, pay all my own bills, have a great life, spill coffee on my shirt every day, trip over nothing, and get schooled by my 8 year old niece. That’s not horrible. I’m not pretentious, mean, stuck up, selfish, hateful, or hurtful. What I am is a beautiful disaster.

[thehotmesspress]

A girl at work told me today my lipstick is always on point. Beep beep.

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Why I was gone

Today and the last few months I've really missed blogging. The months before that I felt as though so much of my anger and sadness was because of a lot of people. This is mostly false. I am in charge of my own actions. How i feel because of a few bumps in the road in life can really ruin my days, friendships, & relationships. I find that things consume me: not as in manic/obsessive, but it's not healthy. Someone close to me has been relapsing on and off for the last year, my brother was getting ready to come out to the rest of my family including our parents, and a friend ditched out on a very big trip together be we got in a texting fight. I am so not acting my age. Ready to put in my big girl undies and woman up! I was nervous to expose people and their issues. I am going to work on controlling my feelings and anyone who is in this blog in a negitive formand doesn't wanna be.. Don't be an asshole and you prob won't.

[thehotmesspress]

Running in circles.

I'm so angry and sad and disappointed w myself. I promised myself 82838383 times id lose weight. Id do it this time. I want it more than anything, yet here I am, bigger than ever. Body aches at the end of the day. Headaches. Hating my body. I can't really be living the life I was made for. This is not my destiny.

[thehotmesspress]

Dammit I disappeared again but guess what... I'm back

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Who stole the real dani?

I woke up super stoked to go the gym today.... Who am I?!

[thehotmesspress]

[thehotmesspress]

You know what really bothers me?! Those pictures on Facebook that say... Real men love curves, bones are for dogs... News flash... Men love whatever the fuck they want to love. If you don like skinny girls knocking us bigger girls, you can't do the same to them. Start empowering others.. Especially WOMAN to WOMAN. Life is hard enough, let's not knock each other. Stay tuned for me to tell you about the women's group I just joined.... Very excited!

[thehotmesspress]

Drama... Bad or good?

Well it's not great. I've been called a drama queen my whole life, literally when I was 5. It's just in my nature. I have control over it yes but dammit it's hard to change. I looked up the definition as I've been called this more than my name.... Urban dictionary nailed it. Let me tell you, it didn't feel good to read those words. I am who I am but I can improve all my good qualities an down play the negatives. I have had a lot of emotional trauma in my life. We all have issues I know that but mine have really changed the way I act and treat others. I was in an abusive relationship and as if I wasn't a mess already.. That did me in. I totally haven't healed from it. No one knows all the details, except the courts and no one needs to but it's been 2 years(this week) since I left and filed an order of protection. Man I fell hard for him. I was only 5 months but we were together every second. I hate him for ruining the little self confidence I had. I am starting a book this week hoping that will help. Moral of the story, I can't be so hard on others; everyone makes mistakes, but it would be nice if someone knew where I was coming from.

[thehotmesspress]

So I’ve had quite a few conflicts with people close to me lately. I know it’s mostly my fault but I can’t stop thinking that people are so quick to throw away friendships. Maybe we were never friends at all?! One of my biggest problems has always been wearing my emotions on my sleeve, not a problem you say? Well it kinda is. I always tell people when I’m upset with them, or I love them, or they bug me. I’ve always thought it was awesome that I wasn’t “fake” and that I said what I feel. Having great communication. Well this isn’t the case as I seem to be pissing people off. I don’t want to live my life pleasing people and know when to have tact, but this really hasn’t been working for me. Time for a new approach. There isn’t anyone I become close with that doesn’t hold a special place in my heart. Mostly it’s my insecurities that ruin relationships. Instead of people calling me drama and other names, it would be nice if they talked it out with me over a bottle of wine or a workout where we can get our frustrations out! How awesome would it be to spar in the boxing ring w a friend that pissed you off and then go out for sushi and hug it the fuck out. Maybe I am drama and overtly sensitive, but I know one thing… I really fucking love my friends and would never intentionally harm them. A lot of people cannot say that.

[thehotmesspress]

[thehotmesspress]

All is fair in love and war. and blogging.

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