too much?
I was never too adventurous with my so called name ‘love life’. I am no expert and not the experienced one. I fell in love once or twice, or maybe just once. Just with this one, probably.
People used to tell me that I lived in a bubble, they thought I did not really care of what surrounds me. Well, I took it as two sides of a coin: I care about what I wanted to care about, no fuss about anything else. Independent, focus, I lived on my own. I was not really attached to anything. Until I fell in love with him.
I guess this is the first time in my life that I am not really in control of what I feel. I used to be very contempt, I relied more to my thoughts rather than my feelings. I tried to recall what has happened the past years since I knew him and tried to trace why but did not really find the answer. What I know now is just I need him more than ever. Maybe it is his fault to be very reachable for me, to be very kind and understanding. Or maybe it is my fault to be very open to him, giving him all of my trust and feels and all of my stories. It is beautiful yet it scares me to fall in love. It is like I give him my whole heart in a paper bag. He can do whatever with it that now I could not picture my life without him inside it.
The previous last sentence sounds too much for me yet it is the truest thing I know. I don’t even know if it is a good thing or a bad thing to feel. Is it too much?
