[tombware]

went on a walk and spent five minutes meowing at this random cat until i realized the owner was standing right there in his yard

[enyafans4communism]

fuck, marry, kill: the wound that won’t heal, the past you can’t undo, the ghost that keeps returning

[statistical-distr-of-polls]

FMK - In order

The wound, the past, the ghost

The past, the ghost, the wound

The ghost, the wound, the past

The wound, the ghost, the past

The past, the wound, the ghost

The ghost, the past, the wound

Variation I forgor/bald/vanilla extract/results

Voting ended onMay 17

[astraltrickster]

[bill-blake-fans-anonymous]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[mikkeneko]

#middle aged dude from maine goes out to the woods to try and cure his writer's block#finds himself booked in the same cabin with another middle aged due from maine trying to cure HIS writer's block#when they try and sort out the error it becomes increasingly evident that something in the woods is stopping them from leaving#a shadow between the trees. a whisper in the darkness. eyes felt but not seen#the cabin has three bedrooms at the start but first one bedroom and then the other just... disappears#the walls start to close in#temperatures begin to drop#as the stress of the situation begins to break down the barriers between the two men the entity in the woods watches#and waits - tag story via @sunderwight

[infimace-blog]

dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go

[b0nkcreat]

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

[0v9]

A truthberry might make you tell the truth... But a lieberry? A lieberry will loan you books

[dragongirlsweetie]

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

[dragongirlsweetie]

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

[evilwizard]

GET BACK TO WORK

[itsjesscapade]

[chrliekclly]

confuse spell

[stateownedslut]

You're hot as hell. Can i dm you? I'm not a fascist.

The young woman's micro-blog loads on your screen.

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Success] - This *is* an attractive one.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - It's been too long. Your flesh craves hers.

SUGGESTION [Trivial: Success] - Slide into her DMs right now.

YOU - They're closed.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Has that ever been a problem for us?

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - Get in her ask-box instead.

YOU - What would I even say?

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - This one's a *Communard*.

RHETORIC [Godly: Failure]

- "You're hot as hell."

- "Can I DM you?"

- "I'm not a fascist."

[dinkywinks]

some kids in my neighborhood drew a particularly elaborate hopscotch board recently which had all sorts of instructions written along the way like "roar like a dinosaur" and "spin around, then strike a pose!" et cetera. so i'm hopping along, and then i get to the end and the last instruction is "don't let the Jester catch you." and i'm like, who the fuck is the Jester? so now i have to worry about the Jester on top of everything else i have going on

[bedupolker]

It feels cool to be "in" on celebrity gossip before anyone else. I ran into Californian Condor V9 and looked her up on the condor lookup website. It says her current mate is dead and she has no kids but I saw her with a new man AND a juvenile.

[uhhhhmanda]

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

yall want a damn mochi lifestyle

[cheaphalloweencostume]

all the shit from this account is from the POV of a shredded cheese

[jame7t]

new sayings: "dont jerk off with the devil" - dont do something awesome "Hand me a pail of horsewater" - I want to try the horsewater No other sayings were invented this year

[c3rvida3]

I put a collar on him since you can wag his tail. :)

(made with an antique celluloid fawn toy and an articulated fishing lure)

[sapphling]

returning dead eyed on bloodied soles again and again to the drafts page to make another crack at writing "the post"

[xargon]

me: yeah so a few years ago someone invented infinite scrolling and really it was a terrible idea

the elf I just hooked up with, taking the lavender and honeysuckle lollipop from their mouth: An infinite scroll... most elfmaidens learn to enchant a scroll to never end before they're a mere 300 years old. It saves on paper.

me: oh see that's just writing, with social media it's really bad, it just leads to people doomscrolling all day

the elf I just hooked up with, spluttering and panicked: The Doomscroll! Be silent human, thou shoulds't not speak the name of that fell parchment

me: oh so you get it