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@theinvaluableexperience
Why Being a Student Athlete Kicks Major Ass
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There are not enough words to describe the student athlete experience. During the four years of eligibility, there are lots to complain but even more to brag about.
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New BLOG - Switching OVER
Follow me on my professional journey at daniellelao.tumblr.com .
Compression Nation
Fighting a nasty plantar fasciitis and the typical aches and pains of a professional athlete logging in endless hours on the court and in the gym, I needed 2XU. 2XU not only helped me fight my tendonitis in my foot, but it aided my recovery from everyday strenuous activity. I love the product so much that it has become routine to throw on some sort of compression whenever I can. Whether it is my recovery tights right when I jump out of my shower, recovery leg sleeves midday, or the compression arm sleeves for the beginning of my practice, I am constantly thinking when and where I can apply compression.
I keep a full set of my compression gear in a pouch that I have and it is the first thing I throw into my suitcase when I packed for my first leg of 2014 tournaments on the road. I am certain that utilizing my recovery gear made a difference in my performance the following day after long matches. Having done this "tennis thing" for so long, I have a relatively accurate idea of what my body should feel like after a certain day's work. In my most recent events, I can honestly say that my body was feeling much better than I expected it to the day after very arduous matches, because I added 2XU to my warm up and recovery regiment.
My most relevant story though that I want to share is a day when I was scheduled to play two singles matches in a day. (Who does that anymore at the professional level?) At 5'3" 120 lbs, I am considered smaller built in comparison to the majority of my competitors. With my small frame, I myself get anxious when it comes to the physicality of the sport, because there is only so much abuse and pounding my smaller body can withstand. Nervous about how I would cope with the physical task of playing a second singles match (given I win the first one), I brought my compression leg sleeves along to put on right after my first match. I figured (other than God/supernatural powers) that was the only thing that had a chance of helping me get through the potentially rough day.
After winning my first match, I put on the leg sleeves as I had planned and proceeded to eat, hydrate, and relax before my next round. When it was go time, I slipped the sleeves off, took a couple deep breathes, and walked onto the court facing one of my toughest opponents (in my opinion), who has beaten me handily for the past 3 years. The first 6 games was the most physical tennis I have ever played, and I thought that for sure my legs would give out if I had to keep that intensity up for the rest of the match. To my surprise though they stayed afloat and I came out with the W. When I walked off the court, I at first could not believe I pulled off that win and was not quite sure how I did it mentally and physically. A few minutes passed and then it was all a little clearer to me how it all happened. I can go into how I mentally got through that match, but that will be left for another blog post. As for how my body got through it, I got my hard work, preparation, AND 2XU to thank for helping me snatch a win that I may not have, had I not found a way to give myself the extra edge.
@AthleticDNA - TheLittleGiant's Take on Being #BornForThis
Many marketing ads from other brand names have been stressing for years perfection, success, history, and champions. ADNA's message is refreshing (in my humble opinion), because they speak for all the other individuals that should be honored outside the mega stars of the sport of tennis. I am all about that, because that is where I currently belong. Will I win a double digit number of Grand Slams like Serena Williams or Roger Federer? Most likely not, but that doesn't stop me from playing, working, competing, and sweating. I still chase the dream. Why? Because, I love it. I enjoy my tennis. Winning creates great memories and suffering reveals true character. "I was born for this."
In My Corner
The people closest to me could still see the fondness I had chasing that fuzz ball around, and thanks to them, I was encouraged to take things a step further. Jumping on the pro circuit was one of the scariest endeavors I had ever embarked on, but by putting myself in the most uncomfortable position imaginable, I gave myself the opportunity to find out a lot about who I am. Along with a successful tennis fall performance (by my standards), I would deem the event of meeting Rick Limpert as one of the highlights of my year. When I was approached by him to put together the book "The Invaluable Experience," I was incredibly apprehensive and insecure of whether I was worthy of publishing a book and if it would be well received by the tennis community. Debating with myself back and forth, I then realized if I truly felt as strongly about my writing as I have conveyed in my blog, I should have the courage to put myself in that vulnerable position and publish it. I actually told no one (other than my coach and parents) about the book beforehand, because I was afraid I would come across someone that would discourage me from actually following through on something I had set myself out to do. For me personally, being brave enough to compose that book and execute with publication required a sense of conviction that I did not know I was capable of.
Reflecting on these past 4 months, I have realized there has got to be someone upstairs looking out for me, because it is amazing how things work out. So many events had to occur at the right time for my recent good fortune to have panned out the way it did. Everything I did to lead myself astray from the path of tennis actually brought me back to it. I took two enormous leaps of faith. One regarding my own tennis and the other regarding my thoughts and perspectives of it. Seeing that the book was so well received by my audience (especially my peers) was just as warm a feeling as spectators (no matter how little) applauding me after a long hard fought match. I truly do feel like I have experienced some of the most rewarding things of my life in the past few months. To be honest, I am overwhelmed. I wish I could say I know how blessed I am, but I don't. Looking back at it all, I am even more convinced that pursuing this grind with integrity and thanking those who have boosted me along the way is the only way I can do my luck justice.
With that being said, "Happy New Year everyone and thank you for being in my corner. 2014 does not scare me as much as it should, because I do not feel like I am doing it alone."
Hi! I really am eager to read your book but I don't have a kindle! are you planning on releasing it anywhere else?
Hello!
Thanks for wanting to read the book! You do not need a kindle to read it just the Kindle app (if you have a smartphone or an iPad). If you do have a smartphone or an iPad you can download the Kindle app and read the book there. I am in the process of making hard copies but that might be a few weeks to a month away.
Let me know if this helps!
Danielle
Hi Danielle! I'm a freshman in high school and just wanted to tell you how inspirational you are to me. I just bought your book and I'm already hooked. One day I hope to play college tennis at a great school like you!
Hello,
Wow thanks for reading! It is incredibly rewarding for me to know that I can help influence the upcoming generation. In comparison to the rest of the tennis world, I feel like I am not worthy of being an inspiration, so you just made my day saying that I could inspire you in some way. Good luck and keep working at it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Heartbreak is Alright
Invaluable Experience: In my junior year, I lost the Final Four deciding match against our big rival UCLA in a 3 hour battle at Athens, Georgia. The moment I lost match point, I remember seeing my opponent’s teammates tackle and dance around her in front of my eyes. It was the most miserable feeling in the world. After shaking hands, I sat on my bench, buried my face in my towel, and cried. My body was aching so bad from exhaustion and I was not sure whether I was shaking because I was crying so hard or because I was on the verge of a full body cramp (maybe both). Nevertheless, I could not move from that bench. As UCLA continued to celebrate their win, I sat listening to their cheers and their band play. Later that night, I promised myself that I would never lose a big match again, because I cannot stand the feeling of letting my teammates down.
Fast forward the following year, in my senior season, I had grown especially close to my teammates. Having had a taste of success the previous year by upsetting Stanford and making it to the Final Four, we were hungry to go all the way this time. Leading up to the NCAA event, we were no longer underdogs as we were last year, but actual contenders. Teams were vying to take us down, and we knew it. All year long we had established this culture of “winning a team title.” Everything we did was for a team championship. The previous year, we saw our men’s team win a championship for the fourth year in a row, and wanted to have a moment like that to share with each other. Being a team captain and senior on the team, I had watched the men win every single year I was at USC and wanted nothing more than a team title. In the Sweet 16, we were matched up against Stanford. Down 2-3 in the dual match, there were two matches left on court, one of which was mine. I was again stuck in a 3 set marathon and found myself lagging behind in the final set. Down 3-4 in the match, with points togo down 3-5, I dug so deep knowing that I promised to never let my teammates down again. Somehow pulling that match out 7-5 in the third was one of the proudest moments of my life. I thought after winning my match, the magic was going to happen again, but unfortunately, our last match on could not pull through and Stanford ran away with the victory (and the championship for that matter).
I fell from Cloud 9 so fast within 15 minutes. Although I did not lose the deciding match this time around, I knew I just competed in the last dual match of my life. I had not anticipated on making this short a run at the NCAA Team Event and I would have given anything for that day to have been just a nightmare. As I picked up my stuff from my court, I kept wishing I would wake up from this nasty dream, because I was nowhere near ready to say goodbye. All year I had envisioned hoisting that trophy with my teammates and to have ended our journey in this fashion was a complete disaster in my eyes. Later that night, I sat in my hotel room and contemplated on why I set myself up to feel this way. I felt so awful inside and I compared that feeling to being dumped by a long term boyfriend unexpectedly. I kept telling myself that I should not have filled my head with those expectations nor cared so much. Beating myself left and right with my thoughts, I then get a text message from my old coach Dave Hagler saying a few comforting things, but one of which was, “It cannot break your heart if you did not love it.” After thinking about that over and over again for the next few days, I realized that by caring you give yourself a fair chance to do something great.
Although there are not guarantees that something great will happen, you maximize your chances. If something really means that much to you, it is worth the heartbreak. I am usually one to downplay the extremity of things and I hate over exaggerating, but if there is one thing I will never dummy down it is my love for the game. Looking back on the college years, I am very fond of my experience as a whole, even the low points, because the highs do not mean the same without them. College tennis was worth every heartbreak it has given me. I loved my experience so much that it was the saddest thing to part with. The first few months after my final season were a real struggle (which is why I started this blog in the first place). I am still not over it, but I am okay with that now. I am okay with missing that part of my life that I desperately want back, but instead of moping about how life sucks, I just smile about how it all actually happened. I now look back on all my college moments with great fondness, feeling so lucky that I had something so hard to say goodbye to.
Don't Know How Just Know Can
Invaluable Experience: In my junior year, I made my first appearance with my teammates to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Team Event. During my first two years of college, my team had struggled and fallen in the Round of 32, so making it to the Sweet 16 was a big deal for me. Having drawn Baylor in our section of the draw, we knew we were in for a rough day, because they had beaten us handily the year before. Pulling out a gut wrenching 4-2 win over them went above and beyond my expectations for that year and I was just ecstatic we lived another day to play. Moving into the Elite Eight, we had Stanford next. Going in, I knew that 8 out of 10 times, Stanford should beat us. Earlier in the year, they gave us a good spanking, so although I was hopeful for an upset, I did not really expect it to happen.
To my surprise though everyone was on top of their game that day. We came out swinging with nothing to lose. At 2-2 in the dual match, we had 3 singles matches left, all in third sets. As I proceeded to start my third set, I look up at the scoreboard, seeing that Sabrina Santamaria, on Court 3, was down 2-5 and that Kaitlyn Christian, on Court 4 was entering her third set but barely walking because of back problems. Slightly flat and running out of juice, I got down in the third against a big hitter and thought for sure this was the end of our run. Things were not looking too good for us. Sabrina was one game away from losing, I felt like my girl was physically punching me in the mid section, and Kaitlyn might need a stretcher when she is done with her match. On the changeover at 3-4, I looked back up at the score board and Sabrina was making a comeback and had evened her match at 5-5.
Giving me hope, I ran over to my side and proceeded to scratch and run down every ball I could get. It was hot, humid, and definitely not California weather. My legs were toast, but I was still out there digging deeper than ever. The adrenaline and anxiety I felt was unreal, so much so that I cannot remember what happened until I got to 5-4my match point. I glanced at the scoreboard and Sabrina is in a tiebreaker with match points herself. Once I closed out my match, I looked over immediately to Sabrina’s court as her opponent’s forehand sails out. Game, set, match USC! Sabrina and I had clinched the dual match by winning within 40 seconds of each other. Holy smokes, we did it! My mind was thinking a million miles an hour. “I cannot believe it! Sabrina you are a stud! How did I pull off that match?! Is this real? If this is a dream, this is a real sick joke.” My hands are sweating typing this out. It gives me the chills thinking about how incredible and impossible that win was. Stanford had dominated us my whole collegiate career and we had finally beaten them. The drama was unreal, and I thought only stuff like that happened in movies.
Moral of the story here is that my teammates and I did not know exactly how we were going to beat Stanford, but by just being out there, we had hope (no matter how big or small the chances are). At the very least, we had a greater chance at beating Stanford than a team that was already out of the tournament. Maybe we did not believe an upset was underway the whole time we were out there, but we knew it could happen. On paper, Stanford had a much better team than we did, but we somehow found a way to run away with the victory. When I think of this match I cannot help but smile, not only because of how amazing I remember feeling, but because it reminds me of one of my favorite sport movies, “Miracle.” I love the story of how the United States Hockey Team out skated the Soviets (the best hockey team at the time) in the Olympics. My favorite scene is the pre-game speech, when Coach Herb tells his players that out of 10 times, they would get beat 9, but that one of those 9 times was not going to happen that night. Upsetting Stanford was my Miracle moment. My teammates and I still look back at that win and are not sure how we were able to pull it off, but I guess sometimes just knowing it can happen is good enough, it certainly was that day.
Being a Student of the Game
I want to get you to think of being creative with your own game and opening your horizons to different approaches. Do not take in everything everyone says, but be open to filtering what comes your way. Everyone has their own sense of style, but there is always something you can learn from the people around you. Wins and losses are not the only things that define you. It is your ability to decipher and decide how you can make yourself better in your own way. Just because you may be better than someone at what you do does not mean you cannot learn anything from them. I am willing to bet if you asked the best athletes in the world where they find motivation, you would be surprised as to where they extract inspiration.
Invaluable Experience: Although I love chasing balls left and right on the tennis court, I also enjoy watching certain people play. As a huge fan of the game, I think every player has something awesome to offer, you just need to be able to look closely (sometimes look from a far) and think out of the box to find it. I always liked to stick around and watch my peers play for two reasons. One was to scout their tendencies in case I ever had to play them in the future and two was to see how they make their style of play work. Are their strengths something I can learn from and possibly add to my tennis? Do they do something I can do but I just do not do enough? If you are a visual learner, so many lessons can be offered to you free of charge, just because you areopen to observing. After observing, I have a better understanding when I am on the court back at home with my coaches of what to expect. Learning from and knowing your competition subconsciously sets a bar for you to reach in the departments where you need work.
My love for tennis grows as time goes on. I am enjoying tennis more now than in the earlier stages of my career, because I have taken more pride in being a student of the game. Admitting that you are still learning does not mean that you are inadequate at what you do, it means that you have a mature understanding that things can always be better. Having that perspective makes the process much more enjoyable in your rise to the top. You not only enjoy your own progress but you can learn to look around as well to see what great things other people are doing around you. So be proud of what you are but also take a look around. What you have is great, so do not be envious, just appreciative.
Give Them a Reason to Cheer
Everyone has different personalities and characteristics but nevertheless has something that is potentially likable about them. You have your own unique edge. Use it. Maybe you have a great sense of humor, a fantastic attitude, electric energy on the court/field, a million dollar smile, and/or a witty way about you etc. Whatever it is, it is something you can use to give people a reason to cheer for you. You want people to want you to do well. To get behind you when you are struggling. I have yet to meet someone who actually enjoys having a crowd cheer against them. I mean why do you think sport teams prefer to play games “at home.”
Invaluable Experience: Throughout my career, I have always been known as a quiet individual and a small, crafty, quick player. In my college years of playing tennis and now on the professional tour, I have embraced those pieces of identity more and more. In my most recent trip to Texas, I realized that I may not have the physical power to “wow” spectators but I did have something else. My quiet and small profile made me a perfect candidate to be considered “an underdog” in nearly all my matches, because I was smaller than all my opponents. On the other hand my craftiness and quickness was something that I used to catch the attention of spectators. In conjunction with smiling and being on my best behavior on and off the court, my tennis profile gavepeople something to cheer for. I was unranked and a qualifier who made it to the semifinals of a large event. (7 straight days of rough tennis). I actually fully embraced being “The Little Giant” and made a David and Goliath story out of every match. Of course my opponents had their supporters and fans as well, but I was able to maneuver my way into having people root for me even though I knew no one there at the start of the tournament.
The tournament turned out to be my best showing thus far on the professional circuit, and I am certain that all the positive feedback and good wishes from the locals helped me get through the rougher patches of the event. By the end of the tournament, I shook many hands, signed a few autographs, and took pictures with many strangers. Seeing as though I have a minimal fan base, this was all a huge deal for me! It made me feel 2 feet taller! What was supposed to be an ordinary tournament, became a rewarding experience, not only because I played great tennis but because I was able to form a connection with the spectators. It is great to feel appreciated for what you are, but you have to give people a reason and theopportunity to get on your side. Leverage your edge appropriately though. Be mindful of not going overkill, because people can sense it when you are not genuine (I hate that!) Being a robot is not likable. Your edge is your edge because it is naturally a part of you. Gaining favor with people means you are just highlighting it.
Go Find Out
My main point here is to encourage you to test the waters and explore what is reasonably out of your comfort zone. Curiosity killed the cat, so it is important to decipher what has significant value exploring and what does not. Yes go discover the unknown, but do not be foolish doing so. Seeing if you can surpass 8 alcoholic beverages tonight because you stopped at 7 last night is considered foolish. On the other hand, volunteering to speak at a meeting on the behalf of your team can be a way you try to branch out. Nobody knows you better than you, so make good choices and also be open to the idea that it is during the times when you are uncomfortable that you find out things about yourself that you did not know before. For instance, I am sure you have had a moment where you were faced with a task (whether it is a game, homework assignment, paper, or set of sprints) that you were not certain you can complete, but in the end “magically” survived! At the end of your struggle you “find out” that you were capable of doing something you did not believe you were in the first place. Often times sports and/or stressful situations reveal character that we did not know was there before, and (in my opinion) that is one of the most beautiful things ever!
The Invaluable Experience: The summer after the end of my collegiate career, I was in a bind on what to do. Do I get a job or do I play professional tennis? Getting a job was the safest thing to do, because it had a guaranteed salary and it was seen as respectable in the eyes of my family members. So not only would I be on my way to saving up for my house by the time I was 30, but I would be pleasing my family members, by showing them that my college education was being put to good use. Professional tennis was the riskier route, but to many people around me, it was the route that made most sense. I still loved playing the game so much and (humbly) I was pretty good at it. My hesitation to go out and try the professional tour stemmed from the fact that the beginning would be very uncomfortable. I was scared of the feeling of solitude. I have always had my teammates and/or parents for companionship during my whole tennis career, and the uncertainty of how the pro circuit would accept me terrified me. Most of all, I was afraid of not being good enough. I nearly settled to have what if’s for when I turned 40, because I was scared of being a disappointment to myself, my family, and my coaches.
Thankfully though, I had a great support system filled with friends, family members, and coaches that were constantly cheering for me to take that leap and find out for myself. In the beginning, I needed more than myself to serve as a reason to go venture out into the ultimate unknown, so I did it for everyone who was cheering for me and believing in me. By jumpstarting my professional career with two solo weeks on the road, I put myself in one of the scariest positions ever and in return found out a lot about myself. For one, I discovered that I measured up to the competition much better than I expected. Secondly, the circuit was not as lonely as I imagined it to be. The friends I made in a short period of time helped me to not be scared anymore and in many ways distracted my mind from missing college tennis so much. Here is the moral of the story: because I am typically more reserved, it was a reach for me to make friends on the tour, but I had to. I had to have some company or else I would drive myself insane. So within the two potentially scariest weeks of my life, I found out that I was likable by people who are not required to like me. (Halfway joking: My teammates and my family are programed/supposed to like me.) AND I found out that my tennis brand actually has potential to be something. If I had not pushed myself to finally set off into the unknown, I would not have discovered these things. I am glad I did it. The courage to do something different made me a better tennis player and a better person as a whole. So be cautious. It is okay to be afraid. Being scared just means you are alive and thinking, but do not let fear stop you from living. You will find the most amazing things about yourself when you are faced with the most daunting challenges.
Finding Fondness
Invaluable Experience: I have always been one to take losses very hard and up until now, I struggle to sleep at night after a tough day at the office. My mistakes weigh on my mind for a few days and it keeps my brain thinking nonstop about the poor choices that could have made a difference. Aside from when everything gets quiet at night, I have improved my behavior after a loss everywhere else. I had to learn this in my most recent endeavor to pursue the professional tennis circuit. Embarking on what was supposed to be a three-week trip away from home (on my own). I was quite intimidated on the likelihood that it can be a total disaster. I had no teammates or parents that I can lean on to help me if I was struggling. Being alone scared me, simply because I have not been in a very long time. There was no one to look over to if I was choking a match away and no one to physically be there to tell me it is alright after I lost a heartbreaker. It was me, myself, and I.
Knowing that I can use all the positive energy I can get, I was well aware that I could not afford to chastise myself as I had before. Other than losing, my biggest fear is ruining my relationship with the sport. I had to find it within myself to lower my pride and deal with my bad days more reasonably. My refined perspective became, "What can I do to maximize my feelings of fondness when I look back at this experience many years from now?" Winning is always that one thing you are certain you can feel great of. So its imperative to get your priorities straight and do everything possible to increase your chances to win. Here is the “but” though, you are never winning 24/7. So what about the other moments in the day you have nothing to celebrate or how aboutthose days you prefer to have never happened? It is impossible to scrap them from your memory, so my advice is that you do your best to maximize your good feelings. Search for the little things that can bring the quality of your day up. Sometimes the smallest things can improve your mood. Inches become miles.
Instead of locking myself in my room after a tough loss, I started making an effort to actually be an approachable human being. Before I would have thought that by doing that, I was indicating I did not care too much for winning or losing. In hindsight though, that is completely false. The ability to be reasonably social after a tough loss does not indicate that I did not want to win badly. I knew myself enough to know that I want to win more than anything every single time I was out there. If twisted in the right light, being approachable after a loss is not a sign of cowardice or indifference, but in fact a sign of strength (in my opinion). If you gave a full fledged effort, it shows you are completely comfortable with investing all of what you have into winning, even though there is always a chance you may falter. The characteristic of being able to put your best effort, despite extreme uncertainty is one that will bring you the best of times and something you will need to recover from your worst moments.
When I retire from the sport of tennis, I will not look back fondly on the days I moped in the hotel room for hours. I am going to smile about those flight delays when my teammates made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt. I will smirk at all the absurd commentary my friend and I made while watching a match I would not have seen had I isolated myself after a tough loss. Remembering how I shared the best conversation while waiting for the rain to stop, will actually make me miss rain delays at tournaments. All of these little things create a subtle impact on our lives and how we see our full experience as a whole. Unreasonably torturing yourself after your worst days just brings you to be less fond of what you do. It might even make you more afraid to lose the next time around. Now if you are afraid of competing and laying it all out on the line, how can you possibly win the toughest battles?
Managing Success & Coping with Failure
Roger Federer has broken multiple records, holds the most weeks at number 1, and at the pinnacle of his career, he was the closest thing to invincibility that tennis has ever seen. Everyone was in awe of his dominance over the ATP tour, but I feel like the world never fully understood or had appreciation for how tough it was/is for him to play with a target behind his back day in and day out. After taking some tough losses and having not recently collected his routine grand slam titles, the whole world is harping on him about retirement. These people are forgetting that the tour really is filled with tremendous competitors and that his efforts to fend off all of them for such a long time were incredible. Now that he has recently been struggling to maintain that sort of dominance, one can see the majority of the world takes for granted how difficult a task it is to not only rise to the top but stay there for as long as he did.
I just recently finished Billie Jean King’s book (yes, I know I am a bit behind), “Pressure is a Privilege.” She speaks about how success comes with great expectations and thatchampions have a responsibility to conduct themselves in a certain manner. To take a slightly different approach than King intended, I want to impress upon you that although rising to the top acquires additional pressure to every individual, pressure really is an honor and a privilege. One can be prideful (but at the same time, not cocky) about their accomplishments, by continuing to search for anything and everything to make their own craft slightly better. In order to handle the pressures of success, individuals need to look at their sport/job/role as a long term project. Theoretically, this project never ends and one can never get too good at it. I realize this overlaps a bit with my upcoming post of “You Are Never Done Growing,” but reinforcement never hurt anyone, and I wanted to make the extra effort to communicate that one needs to learn how to deal with the pressures of succeeding and the pressures to continue to succeed.
Invaluable Experience: Often times, (I am guilty of this myself) when someone gets a taste of success, they feel the pressure to protect and preserve it. The few times I put pressure on myself to “defend” a title or to protect what I had earned, I failed to execute efficiently. Not because I was incapable, but because I was focused on protecting what I had instead of figuring out ways on how to do what I did better. It is not a character flaw to cherish the good things that come to you, but more often than not, this is how you get in your own way. There were a selected few players in my four years of college that remained at the top year after year. The parallels between what I saw in each of these girls’ personalities was that neither of them feared the pressures of being at the top. They all embraced it. Every one of them had the “pass me the ball” mentality, thrived under the pressure, and loved the big moments. It never appeared to me that they needed a certain amount of continued success to feel secure about themselves. The attitude was always tunnel vision, head down, and constantly working and searching. Having to rise to the competition I was up against, I had to tell myself (every night before I went to bed) to no longer be scared of not upholding the expectations that came with success and to want that responsibility that came with being a champion. This was one of the most valuable lessons I learned from my competitors. That the ability to balance humility and fearlessness separates those deserving of reaching the top and those worthy of staying there.
inteGRITy
Understanding the importance and value of integrity can bring you to discover something powerful within yourself. That power is the willingness to come through in the most difficult situations. Billie Jean King mentions in “Pressure is a Privilege” how she loves the word integrity because it has the word grit in it. In my eyes this play on words was”brilliant beyond brilliant.” By accepting that the hardest and the right things are the same at times, one forms thick skin to any adversities he/she encounters in life. When you can make that tough decision to do what is correct even when the odds are against you, you reveal true strength in your own character. You develop that unwavering and firm attitude that champions have to get the job done correctly. There is nothing quite like the conviction you express when you are standing up for something you believe in.
Invaluable Experience: Richard Gallien, my head coach at USC, was always a man who acted in attempt to do what is correct. He was very adamant about having the girls on the team act with class, not for show, but because it was the right thing to do. Having been immersed in a culture to do the honorable thing, I grew in many subtle ways as a person. Entering my senior year as a team captain, I became as concerned (if not more) with the needs of other people and constantly making sure that thingswere right and fair between me and my teammates. On a mission to be always firm but fair, I felt it was my responsibility to also portray the image of what our coaches thought a respected competitor should be. Ideally, Richard and West wanted their players to be fierce on the court, but a pleasure to be around off. They wanted an individual who had both grit and integrity. On one of the biggest weekends in our conference season, I was sick to my stomach all week due to the combination of bad food, the pressures of school, and the anticipation of the two matches. When the two game days arrived, I could not keep food down and had to take multiple bathroom visits over a 2 minute changeover. Sprinting to the locker room and back (so that I would not receive a time violation) had me off my typical match routine and flustered. I remember playing my matches light headed, dizzy, and dehydrated, but I was determined to go about my business the right way despite the fact that I had every reason to throw in the towel and hide. I kept fighting the good fight not only because my teammates needed these wins, but because it was the right thing to do as a competitor. By sticking it out and pulling out those victories, I showed how integrity taught me how to have grit. That if you really believed in your cause you would find a way and if you did not you would find an excuse.
Aside from the obvious expectations of playing fair and being sportsmanlike , integrity teaches you that cutting corners and short cuts do not translate into success. It is the understanding that doing things the right way (no matter how difficult or long it will take) is the way to go about your business. You however have to be brave in order to accept the hardships that come with being the better person. Often times you take the chance of complicating situations when you attempt to set things straight. By doing the brave thing, sometimes you find yourself in a big mess. A person with integrity learns to be okay with that mess, just as a champion learns to accept the struggles that come with earning victories. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but then again neither is winning.
Enjoy Your Competitors
It’s not personal, it’s business. Learn to recognize that they are striving for the same thing you want, but just happen to be on the opposite end. At some point you may even begin to appreciate their style and approach to the sport. Compete, fight, and enjoy the boxing match. Do not hate the competition, embrace it. Do what you need to do to win, but do it with taste and class. At the end of the day it pays dividends to be liked. It can make all the difference when you are facing your lowest moments and the whole world wants you to succeed, (even your competitors).
Fifteen years into the sport of tennis and I have just begun to realize how magnificent it is that one yellow ball can bring so many different people together. When you compete, you are completely naked. The gloves are off, there is no where to hide, and you put your ego on the line. After the battle scene though, it really is mind blowing to realize how there are so many approaches to a sport. Every competitor has their own unique take on how to play the game. When different people from different parts of the world come together to play one sport, each competitor represents the pride they have in their own identity. It’s a beautiful thing.
Invaluable Experience: In such an individual female sport like tennis, there is bound to be stories and personal beef competitors have with each other. I have found that in the heat of competition, it is so easy to be rubbed the wrong way by your opponent. Unfortunately, I have been guilty of secretly holding grudges against individuals. Luckily as I matured and rose to a leadership role on my team, I had to be civil with our competitors to set a good example for the rest. Having been forced to approach mycompetitors a certain way, I came to understand that most of them were respectable and good people that I just happened to dislike on the court just because they were on the other side. Removed from the competition, I was exposed to the type of people they actually are. I gradually became fascinated with how individuals from different parts of the world (mainly America and Europe) approached the game and life. This exposure cultured me in a very unique way. I was able to attain a genuine respect and fondness between myself and my opponents without compromising my desire to win. A few years down the road, I am confident that if I were to ever bump into any of these individuals there would be no awkwardness, because we share an understanding that we went through a meaningful part of our lives together called college tennis.
