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[theirbuninmyoven]

Nothing has been fucking happening. I’m so close to being done with this shit, it ain’t even funny. I’ve been in the game with the Burgos since spring ‘18, 2 years and only 1 transfer, and a lot of bullshit.

But I just can’t. I don’t feel like I can just drop them, and I don’t want to risk having to pay anything back because then I’ll be fucked.

Mercedes has been shopping around for the right clinic to do her retrieval while I’m a perfect patient for Dr. Z at RSC for my transfer. All the while, Cooper still has one embryo. I say we just try one more time with Cooper and if it fails, we start this whole process again. I’m just really fucking tired of waiting.

Anyway, in the meantime, this covid this is fucking everything up.... and JJ and I are not a couple anymore; staying married for the sole purpose of this surrogacy contract so I don’t lose my insurance. Open enrollment starts November 1.

[theirbuninmyoven]

Recap

Late 2017/early 2018 - I was looking for a match. It was between two IFs that were in Windsor, CT (they were at the very early stages, I also didn't feel comfortable [at the time] to carry for an HIV+ couple) and a heterosexual couple from NJ. I matched with the NJ couple.

From there until early 2019, we tried a few different cycles. My lining wasn't getting thicker, except for one time where we did a DET which was a fail. The IM had a partial hysterectomy. They put her on BC during one cycle and screwed up her FSH. It was a long time before her levels became normal again. We left that clinic because of many things:

1. They kept wanting to drop me. Turns out this clinic did a one size fits all. Rumor has it they were really trying to solicit me with another couple.

2. They scammed their insurance. Their insurance caught it.

3. They were rude AF ALWAYS!!

In spring 2019, we moved to another clinic. They caught A LOT of mistakes from the previous clinic, protocols and more insurance fraud. Right now, they're working on her, because they made the same BC mistake. After the additional testing, this clinic asked me to do, the result landed me in the ER and my periods stopped. Now they want to put me on medication to try to induce my period.

I knew surrogacy was a process but I wasn't guesstimating this long.

[theirbuninmyoven]

New clinic, new things.

I haven’t written in a while. We left Cooper and went to Reproductive Science Center. It’s a whole new ball game. I’m indifferent to the coordinator. Of course, Mercedes knows. I’m kinda indifferent to the doctor, too. I’m really indifferent to the whole thing already. It just seems like it’ll never happen and I want to just drop the ball.

But here we are.. I’m starting a new cycle on Wednesday. During this time, I’ll have an ERA test done. The protocol is already so different than Cooper’s pathetic protocol. This will also be a mock cycle. However, I was thankfully able to save the Burgos money by having some stuff saved from the Cooper cycles.

Anyway, I get to meet everyone at RSC on July 3, the day after a full day of jury duty. 😑

[theirbuninmyoven]

666

Last three monitorings have been 6s. 😒 TL and fluffy, but Cooper chose to cancel the cycle and to start me on Provera to jumpstart my period.. BUT keeping me on Estradiol to pick up on another cycle after I have another sonohysterogram.. 😐 They suspect scar tissue.

Mercedes has already contacted another reproductive institute to submit my records. They sound hopeful!

[theirbuninmyoven]

Delayed

I had monitoring on Friday. It was quick and smooth, but I’m only at a 6. I am TL though!! Monitoring again is Monday. Transfer of the 19th delayed until the 22nd, for now.

[theirbuninmyoven]

Updateth

I started Lupron on 1/23, four days before my boo’s birthday. Surprisingly, no hot flashes. I can’t speculate specifically if there were no sudden mood changes 🤷🏻‍♀️

2/1: BW/US: I’m right on track but they don’t tell me numbers.

2/2 Start Estrace patches and vaginal Estrace. I was expecting a shit-ton of Smurf Snatch (courtesy of my hubby) and there’s hardly any. My vajayjay is gobblin’ those blue things right up! 🙌🏼

So no coitus for our birthdays. 💁🏻‍♀️

2/6 I stopped Lupron.

Nothing is happening now except all of the estrace. The patches are becoming itchy, but maybe it’s just this set. I have one more set on Wednesday.

BW/US on Friday, possibly starting progesterone on Saturday for a transfer next Tuesday (only a week and 1 day away). It’ll fly by fast.

[theirbuninmyoven]

BC

I went in for monitoring. Once again, they were unaware of my arrival. Second cycle, COOPER has been slacking. 😒

Dottie says for me to start calling in my appointments on my own... 💁🏻

Tech, I believe her name is Helen/Ellen, said I had one follicle from October/November 🤷🏻‍♀️ but that I was ready for Estradiol. My lining looked good.

I started BC today, and I got my calendar with a transfer of Feb. 19.

Mercedes and I have decided to diss the pineapple 🍍 theme and do a unicorn 🦄 theme. 🤞🏻

[theirbuninmyoven]

AF

AF AF. Aunt Flo? As fuck? 🙄🤷🏽‍♀️

She is here. We’re doing a cycle day 2 monitoring. 💁🏽

[theirbuninmyoven]

Next

I... I don’t know...

We were gonna take a break... but then my period may have started Monday... I’m not sure it was even a period. I spotted... I’m uncertain and nervous about it. They say implantation bleeding can occur but I’m just now starting to ovulate... 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m so confused. Carrie thinks it was an effect from the BC. 🤞🏼

The bleeding had stopped regardless before my accident that night. I was using JJ’s nightstand to jump on the bed, playing with Layla, when it slipped out from beneath me, causing me to land on it sideways. No broken bones or lacerated spleen, but I have deep tissue swelling around my tibia. They have me on morphine.

I’m just glad we’re definitely on a break until the new year. Nothing seems to be going right on my end. 😕

Also, would like to note Momma had retrieved her eggs this week, and we’re looking at a SET next transfer.

[theirbuninmyoven]

Future January as of now...

As it stands right now, we’re looking at starting meds in January because IM’s levels are still not where Cooper wants them to be; thus delaying stim. meds for her and her egg 🥚 retrieval. They’re looking to freeze again and they definitely missed my cycle. 😐

But I’m to take my BC with me to AR, just in case my cycle’s to start. (I was 10 days late for October and a week early in November). If I start down south, we have to find a clinic to monitor at. 💁🏻‍♀️

We’re maybe looking at a transfer around middle of February.

I hope something happens fast and successful. I’d hate to have to repeat all those tests, especially the sonohysterogram. 😖

[theirbuninmyoven]

Another new cycle

They trashed the last cycle because Mercedes’ FSH wasn’t 15 or less. She’s close.. but no reason for us to continue. My period was late anyway.. and now it’s early..

Eh. I wanted a break so I could visit family. . . But since my period is early now.. Jesus 🤦🏻‍♀️ I can still visit family. We can either locate a fertility clinic down south or wait out another cycle. We literally bought our 🎫 tickets last night!!! Ugh. 😑

If I stay on BC for only two weeks, we’ll have to find a fertility clinic on literally the last day in AR. And possibly transfer right when we get back. I’m hoping BC is at least 2.5-3 weeks. It would just be so much simpler. . . maybe. Idk 😐

[theirbuninmyoven]

New cycle

Period finally showed up 11/6. Yesterday, I went in for blood work and ultrasound. (Dang, I’ll never get used to those painful probes). Measuring well; they told me to start BC. No calendar yet for possible transfer date. They’re still monitoring Momma Mercedes for her retrieval.

[theirbuninmyoven]

No period; no BC

Uhh. 🙄 minor oops. But now that I’m thinking of it. Period should be coming. I’m starting to feel cruddy. My period said it was due the 30th.. but I know I ovulated early so the prediction calendar bumped itself up to the 27th. No period yet. Let’s get this show on the road. JJ says he may be able to come this time to transfer. Yay! 🤞🏼

Omg. 😲 Did Tumblr finally add pretty font? Jesus...

[theirbuninmyoven]

Cycling again

Today, I started BC again in hopes of transferring in 5 weeks. Mercedes has been doing testing these last few weeks to see how well she’s growing follicles... eggs.. The RE office is aiming for a fresh cycle this time.. a fresh/frozen .. not all the way frozen. Truthfully, I’m uncertain how that all works. I just supply my uterus when needed. ;)🤞🏼

[theirbuninmyoven]

I’m not pregnant 🤰

Negative the 13th. Negative the 15th. Since stopping meds, I feel like my hormones have shut down too. Finally. I’m literally not even in the mood. I’m back to my old self. 😏

M was contemplating a fresh cycle but now is doing a half fresh cycle; not really sure. I started one cycle on the 21st. It was literally only 2 days with 2-3 days of spotting. But the most extreme case of cramping I’ve ever had. Next cycle is projected Oct. 30 where I’ll start meds again. If it’s the same as last, another transfer is aimed from November 20-21; same week as Thanksgiving. Well, at least the babies will definitely be well fed. Yes, another DET.

[theirbuninmyoven]

September 1 and so forth

Transfer was at 8:30 am. Do I count that as a full day? I’d say so. We are 8dpt and I haven’t gotten a line on a POAS yet. But... for a 3day FET, HCG levels aren’t detected until 11dpt. I’ll test again on Tuesday.

Smells have hit me since day 1. JJ and I got into a screaming match over the nasty 🤢 trash can. Lol. They increased my vaginal suppositories to three a day and I feel like I’m gonna itch my vagina off!!!!!!!

Food aversions. No cravings. Mood swings. . 🤔

[theirbuninmyoven]

Fuck yeah.

I got an 8.4 on Tuesday. I made my IM cry.. with excitement. Leaving Friday night for the transfer on Saturday. Coming back Sunday evening. After driving all day, my family wants me to stop on the Massachusetts border and attend the annual family gathering. :/ I may though. It would cut my trip time down. I’ll be without my angel for a whole weekend! :(