Joseph Thomas

Joseph Thomas is a funeral director, embalmer, and humor writer living in Savannah, Tennessee with his wife and kids and pets. He has a BA in English from Freed-Hardeman University and also studied writing at Second City. He is here to help and will stay and will stay until the wind changes.

[thejoethomas]

MOOCH! Please let this last.

[thejoethomas]

Saw a guy at the zoo wearing a Titleist hat, American flag socks, and this shirt. I'm thinking we would not be friends.

[thejoethomas]

No one who's ever seen Bachelor in Paradise can be surprised by this.

[thejoethomas]

Goodbye @bibbymoynihan. The time in the tent and the time watching you on SNL were both amazing.

[thejoethomas]

I wish I could watch James Naismith read this and try to figure out what the crap it's talking about.

[thejoethomas]

Got accepted to the @medium partner program today!

[thejoethomas]

I got my shirts.

[thejoethomas]

One of my favorite sights in earth: sad Spurs.

[thejoethomas]

The view from our seats and the view from the entrance to our seats.

[thejoethomas]

I ended racism today.

[thejoethomas]

RAP SNACKS! #rapsnacks

[thejoethomas]

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Dishes vibe.

[thejoethomas]

#nationalsiblingday

[thejoethomas]

In which my work appeared on the @huffingtonpost.

[thejoethomas]

Well this doesn't happen everyday.

[thejoethomas]

It's Wilson's birthday. He's eight years old, shoots more basketball than kid MJ in Space Jam, and is developing a weird/absurdist/wonderful sense of humor. Please pray.

[thejoethomas]

This is how you spin a 49% approval rating after only 12 days in office.