the kinky queer archive

minors dni, 20. they/them. mal.

[thekinkyqueerarchive]

im 20. they/them - you can call me Honey or Mal <3

in light of all the surprise tumblr bannings of primarily queer trans folk and deleting of their content - im making a lil archive of all the queer and trans educational stuff i see in addition to kink safety and education. feel free to submit or send or tag me to a post. dms and asks are very open to queer/ trans / kink education tags get educated queers - queer history, current events or just general important info about being queer queer readings - similar to get educated queers but exerpts, quotes and summaries of books articles and papers trans education general sex ed kink safety kink education kink etiquette advice - not nessacarily kinky, but i think its good telephone book - boost for blogs thatve been 'mysteriously' deleted for no reason

i'll also put the original creators in the tags so itll be searchable in case their stuff gets deleted

[leaky-prinxess]

psa: omo safety, dolls, and not smelling like pee all the time

note: i'm not a medical professional, this isn't medical advice, i'm literally just some lady

people often bring up overhydration when talking about omo safety. and they should! overhydration can be fatal. if you're doing any sort of heightened liquid intake, such as in rapid desperation, make sure you research how much water the human body can safely process in a given amount of time.

but i wanna talk about bladder health and incontinence. i'm a 33-yr-old trans woman. you know what increases incontinence? hitting your 30s. you know what else increases incontinence? feminizing hormone therapy. you know what else increases incontinence? holding your piss for hours at a time.

our urethral sphincters are muscles. when we hold in our pee, we're putting those muscles under stress. in a different world in which we're not piss freaks, we'd be doing minimal holding and voiding our bladders completely whenever they sent the signal to our brain that they're under load. but this is not a different world.

when we do holds (especially holds that result in involuntary release) we are damaging and weakening these muscles. as much fun as omo is, you've gotta practice it in moderation. unlike some muscles, your urethral sphincters don't heal on their own. if you're not taking steps to strengthen and retrain those muscles (or if you're doing holds too often!), they're just gonna get weaker and weaker and you're gonna have increased incontinence problems going forward.

as mentioned above, i'm a living trifecta of heightened incontinence risks, so i want to emphasize the importance of pelvic floor exercises to anyone who's engaging in omo play, especially the girlies. here's a queer-focused article on how to get started with kegels (excuse their use of "folx"). (sidenote: practicing diaphragmatic breathing helps with kegels and voice training.)

k that's it! i felt like this was important to talk about bc it's stuff i didn't know when i was first getting into omo. go forth and hold responsibly.

[cyprozombiegirl]

tumblr staff doesn’t want you to know this, but a great way to treat small amounts of granulation tissue to prevent it from becoming hypergranulation inside the canal of your neovagina is to make a hypersaline solution (more in tense version of regular saline) and soak a tampon in it, and then insert that tampon into your vaginal canal

[cyprozombiegirl]

now I’m sure if you are dealing with granulation tissue during early recovery from bottom surgery you’re probably thinking gosh fuck I’m a trans girl i’ve never had to put a tampon in in my life how do I do this…and I’d love to show you but

[cyprozombiegirl]

ITS THE POST THAT GOT ME BLURRED HIII

[weaponwifer]

I love when gender typology studies is generally critical on the concept of 'thirdness' while still embracing the non-universality of the western (again, I'm not making my own analysis, rather the analysis of more anthropological queers in regards to Indonesia (cf. Oetomo, Wierenga, Boelstroff, Blackwood, etc)) conception of gender.

(ps Nanda fuck you)

A further danger in employing third sex/gender theory is the potential to consider all third sex/genders throughout the world as a homogeneous category. As Towle and Morgan (2002: 484) assert, third sex/gender theory has a tendency to subsume ‘all non-Western, nonbinary identities, practices, terminologies, and histories’ making the concept ‘a junk drawer into which a great non-Western gender miscel- lany is carelessly dumped.’ As Halberstam (1998: 28) further notes, ‘“thirdness” tends to homogenize many different gender variations under the banner of “other”.’ In some cases, this results in isolating the West from everywhere else, reinforcing ethnocentric attitudes.

Gender Diversity in Indonesia: sexuality, Islam and queer selves; Graham Davies, Sharon; 2011

[depsidase]

[dandelionsresilience]

Just gonna drop these here as a starting point :)

How to identify, and then deal with, your emotions

Emotional regulation skills

Conflict resolution skills

Creating and enforcing boundaries

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy skills

Emotional intelligence ideals to aim for

Axes of self-care/wellbeing

Self-care self-evaluation (find out where you’re starting)

How to make a self-care checklist

How to start a self-care habit

Reparenting resources

Crash Course Psychology

KhanAcademy: Understanding the Self and Society (some units more relevant than others)

Emotional education activities for children and teens

Social-Emotional Learning activities for kids (information can be adapted for adults)

[theropegeek]

text and layout by me

models:  K, @tardiscunttreasures, @camdamage​, @ropebaby​, @jewelryandfire​

Nerve Injury Reference Card from frozenmeursault.com

[unpretty]

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

[unpretty]

psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate…

home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that

[unpretty]

homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead…

home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent

[unpretty]

business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock

home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.

[nevercure]

Fun fact a scientist who is very not spiritual or superstitious began seeing corner eye hallucinations and feeling intense fear and a presence in his lab around the same time that everyone else in the building was suddenly reporting it haunted.

Determined, he found that the “hauntings” stopped when the industrial air conditioning unit, that had just recently been installed, was turned off. We’ve found that measurable micro vibrations in a structure cause immense fear, and a feeling of a presence and corner eye hallucinations – just like when you watch a scary movie alone at night and you see things move in the corner of your eye or are afraid to go in the cellar because you’re convinced someone’s in there.

Why?

Because many members of our species built homes in and around cliffs and caves for tens of thousands of years. And it’s likely that these certain shaky vibrations give us intense fear and a need to move far away because that would have saved our lives if the cave were collapsing or unstable.

You’ll notice it’s always falling apart, dilapidated homes that are “haunted” - or very very old restored homes. These places might just be slightly structurally unsound. That’s all.

[rosetintmyworld84]

That’s infrasound, sounds that are below 20hz, or the limit of normal human hearing. Things that produce infrasound in nature include severe weather, earthquakes, volcanoes, tigers, alligators, rhinoceros; also known as things that can kill people. We developed an evolutionary sense of dread when our brains perceive sounds we cannot hear. The vibrations from infrasound can also vibrate the eye causing visual hallucinations. 

You know what also causes infrasound? A LOT of machines, especially large industrial ones. There’s a reason haunted house stories started popping up in post industrialization. That scientist was Vic Tandy and he wrote about it in a the paper Ghosts in the Machines

“Vic Tandy, experimental officer and part-time lecturer in the school of international studies and law at Coventry University, along with Dr. Tony Lawrence of the University’s psychology department, wrote in 1998 a paper called “Ghosts in the Machine” for the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research. Their research suggested that an infrasonic signal of 19 Hz might be responsible for some ghost sightings. Tandy was working late one night alone in a supposedly haunted laboratory at Warwick, when he felt very anxious and could detect a grey blob out of the corner of his eye. When Tandy turned to face the grey blob, there was nothing.The following day, Tandy was working on his fencing foil, with the handle held in a vice. Although there was nothing touching it, the blade started to vibrate wildly. Further investigation led Tandy to discover that the extractor fan in the lab was emitting a frequency of 18.98 Hz, very close to the resonant frequency of the eye given as 18 Hz by NASA. This, Tandy conjectured, was why he had seen a ghostly figure—it was, he believed, an optical illusion caused by his eyeballs resonating. The room was exactly half a wavelength in length, and the desk was in the centre, thus causing a standing wave which caused the vibration of the foil.“

[rabbitindisguise]

Okay I didn’t need my eyes to have a resonation frequency but thanks for that, science

[behaviornerdwithahat]

In case anyone finds it helpful because mobility aids are horrifically expensive and inaccessible…

And for those people who have access to mobility devices but might benefit from a second chair they can abuse without risking expensive damage…

Erik Kondo has made a website, Open Source Innovations, that details plans for DIY wheelchairs. These wheelchairs can be made from common materials like wood, plastic, and pvc. They are lightweight and can be custom fit to the user allowing from the same degree of movement you would get from a custom chair. And they are durable and easily repairable. (he has been stress testing his latest design by dropping it down stairs, dropping it out of a car, launching it across a driveway, and throwing it off a deck). Its 12lbs and I think he said its was in the $200 ish range for parts.

He also is working on cheap, open source, accessible designs for beach chairs, off road chairs, motorized attachments (think smart drive), and so on. Plus he skateboards in his wheelchair. Cool dude, helpful info, pass it on.

[moodr1ng]

honest.. it needs to be better known that you can get phalloplasty without a vaginectomy (= keeping the vagina), you can get phalloplasty with or without 'burying' your t-dick (aka its either in the phallus or remains outside of it/accessible), you can get phalloplasty with or without creating testicles, you can get phalloplasty with or without urethral lengthening, and there are multiple options for graft sites outside of arm or thigh grafts.

i knew pretty much none of this before i happened upon the blog of someone who had phalloplasty without vaginectomy. this is all stuff a surgeon would explain to you - but you may never consult a surgeon if you, like i did, think the only option available for phalloplasty is forearm graft phalloplasty with testicles, vaginectomy, clitoral burial and urethral lengthening, and that doesnt work for you.

phalloplasty in general is misrepresented terribly all over the place and many, many people say "i dont want bottom surgery because phalloplasty cant give me (x) result" and the one thing holding them back will be something thats entirely possible. meanwhile the main thing you hear about phalloplasty in the community is "the technology isnt there yet" "it doesnt look good/natural" "its not functional" etc etc, and while that may be true for many people, i suspect the lack of information about what a post-op phallus can actually look, feel and function like and the options you have regarding the surgery play a big role in the really bad reputation it gets and makes a lot of people completely give up on a surgery theyd really want because theyve been fed outdated and incomplete ideas about it.

[moodr1ng]

adding to this for a concrete example: i had phalloplasty stage 1 two weeks ago. this means the phallus was created, but i did not yet get glansplasty (creating the glans), scrotoplasty (creating the testicles), burial (including the clitoral tissue into the new phallus), or vaginectomy (which i dont plan to get at all).

what this means concretely is at this time i have a phallus above my natal genitalia, which is completely untouched. nothing else has changed down there. if i wanted to, it could remain that way. i could get a type of erectile implant that does not require scrotoplasty (if i wanted to) and literally just be done, and i would have a penis which can be used in penetrative sex while not modifying ANY of my natal genitalia.

thats not the plan for me (i will be getting various more surgeries and an implant which requires scrotoplasty) but its possible. and i just really want more people to know that its possible, because thats the ideal for many people who have no idea its doable.

additionally: i understand if there are still reasons phalloplasty is not right for you (if you would necessarily want to be able to have spontaneous erections, to produce semen, or to have a penis that is exactly 100% identical to a cis mans, i understand that phalloplasty cant do that for you and you may not want it for those reasons or others) but i ask you to stop adding comments/tags about this on this post. there is a myriad of posts about the limitations of phalloplasty. there are so few about the possibilities of phalloplasty that the tags on this post are FILLED with people going "wait what? i can actually get the surgery i want?". this is a post trying to bring some positive information about phallo to people who need it. complaints about the limitations of phallo are legitimate but this is not the post for them. additionally, im currently getting phalloplasty and i see all your comments and tags in my notes, and i dont need more negativity about the procedures im currently undergoing while im recovering. please also refrain from broad unnuanced statements about how "almost no surgeons agree to do that". yes, you may not easily find a surgeon who will do the type of surgery you want, but its far from true that barely any surgeons will. this is highly dependent on where you live and what options are available to you. the first surgeon i saw immediately agreed to do phalloplasty without vaginectomy with no reservations. consider that replying to this post with discouraging sweeping statements is also not very helpful. thank you.

[transsexual-experiences]

reading progressive sex ed caricatures with accurate and detailed and realistic diagrams of sexual organs + shows their variation, but all i can think about is how there is no discussion of what srs is besides the fact that it exists

[transsexual-experiences]

how may people know the before and afters of vaginoplasty? phalloplasty? meta? how it works at all?

[transsexual-experiences]

this one has been passed around recently from the mayo clinic and that actually makes me so happy because how many of transfeminine people are aware of what their options even look like?

there’s a diagram for phallo and meta from springer link(i believe) and. honestly i’d never seen these before and i dont think i’ve ever seen any diagrams. i know vaguely because of reading papers or listening to people talk about their experience but i’ve never seen it, yk? it makes me more confident in my choice to get meta when i’m older

[yooleebird]

There’s a website called Transbucket that has a whole archive of before and after photos, surgery costs, surgeon names and locations, and general feedback on complications, sensation, everything. It’s been around for at least a decade, and there are photos of some folks five or eight years down the line. It’s organized by procedure, and it’s very comprehensive. It’s NSFW of course but it’s an amazing resource!!!

Are you considering or have had transition care? | Transbucket.com

[catboybiologist]

Demystify transition! Break irrational medical fear!

[crybabybat]

I will never understand how cis people widely continue to see HRT as a huge decision that needs years of consideration and should only be used as a last resort for minors if they’re on the edge of suicide, and other things of this nature.

Like your body already has those hormones. It’s already doing that. It’s okay. They’re just hormones, you can play around and see what you like, what feels right. It’s literally fine. Changes to our bodies and voices and genitals and things are already an inherent part of being human.

It’s the weight that’s put on the decision to go on HRT that manufactures the major concerns of regret. If you decide it’s not for you and you’re upset because your body has been altered in a way that doesn’t feel good to you, that’s the same as getting a tattoo you don’t love, or breaking a bone, or being injured in some other way, or aging, or even getting a bad haircut. It is not automatically more horrific because it has to do with the perceived presentation of your gender. Hope this helps 👍🏼

[theropegeek-deactivated20170722]

[theygender]

Having a vagina honestly sucks bc it's like you have to do fucking alchemy just to prevent yourself from getting sick. You've got an intricate ecosystem of microorganisms down there that you're dependent on for your own well-being and they can be set off by the tiniest fucking thing

Keeping your pubes too short can cause yeast infections, but letting them get too long can also cause yeast infections. Washing the area with specialized soap can help prevent yeast infections, but it can also cause them. Your periods can cause yeast infections, and so can the medicine you take to stop your periods. Having sex can cause yeast infections, especially if the person you're having sex with is diabetic (???). Being diabetic can cause yeast infections. Wearing the wrong clothes or eating the wrong things can cause yeast infections. Not getting enough fucking sleep can cause yeast infections. The list is neverending

Luckily, yeast infections are fairly easy to treat with OTC medicine that you can find at any Walmart. BUT! Even if all of your symptoms indicate that you have a yeast infection, you have to take a test first to confirm that it's a yeast infection (they do not sell the tests at Walmart) bc you might actually have the opposite of a yeast infection (bacterial vaginosis) which has the exact same symptoms as a yeast infection but is caused by an imbalance of different microorganisms. And if you use yeast infection medicine to treat a bacterial infection it will light your pussy on fire. So if you have a bacterial infection, you must instead visit your local witch doctor (gynecologist) and get prescribed special potions (antibiotics) to treat it

Antibiotics can also cause yeast infections

[spamandemotions]

Reboot for afab health tips

[theygender]

Not all afab people have vaginas actually, and trans women & transfems who undergo bottom surgery are just as capable of getting vaginal yeast infections as people who were born with their vaginas. I appreciate the urge to use inclusive language, but this post is not exclusive to afab people! In cases like these, naming the specific body part (ie. "vagina health tips") is more precise and inclusive

[tuulikki]

For those who only have the time to skim this: the “just as capable” line links to an article that isn’t about comparing rates, but is actually documenting (for the first time on the medical record!) that it does indeed happen.

If you’ve had bottom surgery and have a yeast infection, the article suggests that miconazole capsules/tablets are preferable to creams, though either would do in a pinch.

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

[betafite]

Especially on (US) election Day remember the Palestinian cause. Both candidates participate in a genocide against Palestinians, either win is a loss. You can't celebrate or mourn the results without remembering over 43,000 innocents have been killed thus far as a result of the genocide. A vote for either candidate is a vote for the deaths of Palestinians. Neither one is a moral choice, there is no lesser of two evils. There are two fascists on the ballot and either way we are inherently complicit in this genocide as USAmericans.

Compiling links for fundraisers.

Clicks for Palestine

Crips for ESims

Individual Fundraisers

Mohammed Nasseer's Family $1,245/$10k, 80 donations

Hashem's Family $7,200/$60k, 410 donations

Shaima's Family €4,253/€50k, 288 donations

Ghazal Naseer £2,868/£25k, 165 donations

Shawwa Family, $6,361/$25k, 362 donations

Mahmoud's Family $23,467/$60k, 569 donations

Heba's family $2,561/$30k CAD, 129 donations

Mahmoud Jehad and Family, $8,270/$25k, 583 donations

Hazem Shawish's Family €18,434/€50k, 1.1k donations

Ahlam Ramadan's Family €4,430/€20k, 267 donations

Hossam Saleh Mohammed El Bardawil $23,914/$30k CAD, 837 donations

Doaa and Omar $4,250/$40k, 162 donations

Muhammad Al-Sir's Family, €2,367/€50k, 117 donations

Ibrahim's Family €9,715/€20k, 511 donations

Mohammed Ayesh's Family £20,359/£60k, 1k donations

Master Lists

El-Shab-Hussain's Direct Contacts

Google Doc of Vetted Fundraisers

Do your part, recognize our complicitness as USAmericans in this genocide. I will be adding more to this post as time goes on. FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸🕊️

[anarchopuppy]

I’ve already reblogged a link to this entire article by @crimethinc, but I wanted to highlight the excellent ‘resources’ section on its own as we approach the election. For an anarchist take on the current climate, a list of upcoming actions, and a dope-ass poster to print and distribute, please do check out the full article as well

Trump’s term is ending as it began, with a likelihood of street conflict. The following guides offer a great deal of information about how to participate in effective protests while protecting yourself and your community.

Getting Connected

How to Form an Affinity Group

Find a Local Mutual Aid Network

Where to Find Your Local Medic Collective—This is not comprehensive, but offers a good starting point.

Security Culture

What Is Security Culture?

Bounty Hunters and Child Predators: Inside the FBI Entrapment Strategy

When the Police Knock on Your Door—Your rights and options: a legal guide

If the FBI Approaches You to Become an Informant—An FAQ

You can find a lot of important information about general security in protest situations here.

Digital Communications and Security

Your Phone Is a Cop—An OpSec/InfoSec primer for the dystopian present.

Communications Equipment for Rebels

Burner Phone Best Practices—A user’s guide

Doxcare—Prevention and aftercare for those targeted by doxxing and political harassment

This thread spells out how to protect your privacy via proper phone safety at demonstrations—before, during, and after the protest.

Dressing for Success and Security

Fashion Tips for the Brave

The Femme’s Guide to Riot Fashion—This season’s hottest looks for the discerning femme.

Staying Safe in the Streets

Blocs, Black and Otherwise

Safety Gear

A Demonstrator’s Guide to Helmets

A Demonstrator’s Guide to Gas Masks and Goggles—Everything you need to know to protect your eyes and lungs from gas and projectiles.

You can read some more tips about protest gear from protesters in Hong Kong here.

Strategy, Planning, and Tactics

A Step-by-Step Guide to Direct Action—What It Is, What It’s Good for, How It Works

Tools and Tactics in the Portland Protests—This text offers an overview of a wide range of options from leaf blowers and umbrellas to shields and lasers.

Creative Direct Action Visuals—Making banners and more.

Blockade Tactics—courtesy of the Ruckus Society

Tips about Blockading—from Beautiful Trouble

Lock Boxes—How to blockade with

Jail Support

Jail Support

Jail Support form from Rosehip Collective—Fill this out in advance of any event at which you might be arrested and leave it with your attorney or a support contact.

NLG National Support Hotlines and Other Resources

When Things Go Badly

Making the Best of Mass Arrests

How to Survive a Felony Trial—Keeping your head up through the worst of it

I Was a J20 Street Medic and Defendant—How we survived the first J20 trial and what we learned along the way.

Basic First Aid in the Streets

First Aid for Protestors

Eye safety at protests—You can read more on how to do an eye flush here

How to Protect Yourself from Audio Attacks—LRAD, sirens, etc.

COVID-19 Safety at Protests

You can obtain more graphics on this subject here.

For Experienced Medics

Protocols for Common Injuries from Police Weapons—For street medics and medical professionals treating demonstrators.

A Demonstrator’s Guide to Responding to Gunshot Wounds—It can also be useful to read these accounts from people who have experienced gunfire at demonstrations.

These four zines from the Rosehip Medic Collective include a range of useful information.

This collection of resources that appeared shortly before Trump took office includes more topical material, addressing non-violence, solidarity, white supremacy, colonialism, patriarchy, capitalism, and more.

[transsexual-experiences]

we should hype up bottom surgery more i think. both twitter transphobes and chronically online trans people really like to be disgusted at phalloplasty, vaginoplasty, ext. and i really think we should treat them as cool and sexy and neutral like top surgery scars or whatever

[failure-to-adult]

As of tomorrow I will be 49 weeks post bottom surgery. And lemme tell you...it's pretty great.

There was a level of constant dysphoria from having a dick that I didn't even know I had until it was gone.

Vaginoplasty is pretty amazing. I'm very, VERY happy about having gotten it.

Some things to keep in mind:

The first year can be rough at times, because it takes approximately 48-52 weeks to fully heal, but the further you get into that year, the easier it gets.

Healing time also depends on if you get the surgery with or without cavity. Be realistic going in and make sure to read all the literature your clinic sends you.

I say this because a lot of the negative shit around bottom surgery hinges on people NOT knowing about the healing time and using the shock value of not-yet-healed surgical wounds. Bottom surgery is FUCKING AMAZING, but yeah, it can be gross and painful at first.

I had my surgery done at GRS Montreal. The staff there are AMAZING. They were kind, patient, and helpful.

Here's some bottom surgery facts:

Yeah, it'll be gross at first. The first 90 days is when all the surface-level healing happens. As with any major surgery, healing is gross. It gets a lot less gross once the surgical wounds heal, the swelling goes down, and the packed gauze in your clitoris comes out (it's there to maintain the shape while healing).

There is scarring, but it fades. Rub silicon gel into it 3-4 times a day for several months once the wounds close. After a year the scarring is minimal, and it will keep fading. I don't even notice it anymore.

Everything WORKS. Stuff feels good. Orgasms are AMAZING.

It has absolutely made me feel more confident as a woman. It is INCREDIBLY gender affirming.

Dilation is a pain in the ass for the first 4-5 months. Not because it hurts, but because you have to do it so often. After that it becomes more like "here is an hour a day that I set aside for me time". At the end of the first year you will only have to do it once or twice a week, at which point it definitely becomes more like just setting aside a bit of time to get in touch with your womanhood, just to relax.

Dilation doesn't hurt (though it can be uncomfortable in the first month or so while the swelling comes down). Your new vagina is a part of your body and your body takes care of it. It is honestly pretty neat!

Bottom surgery is legitimately AMAZING. It has been practiced for almost 100 years. It is established medical practice. Do not let transphobes dissuade you from it!

[transsexual-experiences]

reading progressive sex ed caricatures with accurate and detailed and realistic diagrams of sexual organs + shows their variation, but all i can think about is how there is no discussion of what srs is besides the fact that it exists

[transsexual-experiences]

how may people know the before and afters of vaginoplasty? phalloplasty? meta? how it works at all?

[transsexual-experiences]

this one has been passed around recently from the mayo clinic and that actually makes me so happy because how many of transfeminine people are aware of what their options even look like?

there’s a diagram for phallo and meta from springer link(i believe) and. honestly i’d never seen these before and i dont think i’ve ever seen any diagrams. i know vaguely because of reading papers or listening to people talk about their experience but i’ve never seen it, yk? it makes me more confident in my choice to get meta when i’m older

[yooleebird]

There’s a website called Transbucket that has a whole archive of before and after photos, surgery costs, surgeon names and locations, and general feedback on complications, sensation, everything. It’s been around for at least a decade, and there are photos of some folks five or eight years down the line. It’s organized by procedure, and it’s very comprehensive. It’s NSFW of course but it’s an amazing resource!!!

Are you considering or have had transition care? | Transbucket.com