I have nothing to say because I know this is th wrong choice but I support you no matter what. You are smart enough to know what you need right now but that doesn’t mean I think you can see what this will be like bigger picture and that’s something I will accept with time. With time, I will grow stronger and smarter, like I always do. I will heal and fill my cup so much with the love that my heart is full of, eager to give to you any chance it got. But for you, with time, you will reflect in the moments between silence, and you will remember how I pushed the hair out your face when you cried, the ways I held your pieces when you ached, and you will look for that tenderness in others (but you will not find it). You will find something or someone along the way that echos like a familiar chord, but that note will only rattle the ribs from inside your empty chest, and you will just be reminded of the hum of crystal your cup reverberates. Your only choir.
You will hear the organ bellow in your church of empty pews because with time, you will have pushed us all away. The stain glass windows will pour the light in, but you will long for the warmth of the sun, the love of a woman you refuse to let yourself feel. Your sermon will fall upon deaf ears and soon enough your church will shut its doors for good - by the grace of whatever god you shout to when you are in your hurt. You will stumble out on the muddy grounds, blinded by tears and rain, all the way to the graveyard of lovers your fear put to rest… you will pump your fists and your face will splinter, but as you look up you will see me on the otherside of that hill - my warmth and love spread far and wide, washing over the world in ways you only wish you could allow yourself to enjoy.
