The Lipgloss Bitch

crackhead meangirl energy

[writing-prompt-s]

You wake up in the middle of the night to your phone pinging like crazy. After you check it, you see several messages, some from numbers you don't recognize, telling you to wake up.

[thelipglossbitch]

[thelipglossbitch]

oh it’s...it’s a writing prompt

[writing-prompt-s]

You wake up in the middle of the night to your phone pinging like crazy. After you check it, you see several messages, some from numbers you don't recognize, telling you to wake up.

[thelipglossbitch]

[thelipglossbitch]

I just had a dream where I met Obama and I was like, “Hi! I’m a really respect what you did for the country!” and he laughed and was like “oh yeah? what did I do?” and I couldn’t think of anything so I just replied “a better job than trump”

[thelipglossbitch]

me: *driving to taco bell in a pink sparkly Barbie jeep at 3 am* I put the BAD in BADASS, babey <3

[thelipglossbitch]

me: *has been on the internet for 17 hours straight*

me: wow I should rly go outside

me: oh wait.

me: I cant.

me: ...oh well! :) *happily opens insta again*

[thelipglossbitch]

me: pls..im begging you...I need affection or. I. DIE.

someone: hey

me: *calling the girls* omg you will not believe how clingy this guy is. wow. blocked. cannot believe men nowadays.

[missvoltairine-blog]

do you ever just get a vibe that someone has a crush on you and then you’re not sure if they actually do or if you’re just really really self-absorbed

[thelipglossbitch]

omg my dad just used the word “orgasmic” to describe krispy kreme donuts literally shoot me

[thelipglossbitch]

bruh my Instagram captions are like random asf like half the time they’re like some beautiful but cringey deep quote by an artist like “if I love you was a promise, would you break it if you’re honest...” and then the other half it’s like: “I haz c h e e z e b o r g e r”

[thelipglossbitch]

me: *logs onto any social media*

social media: EXCUSE ME MA'AM DO YOU HAVVA MINUTE TO TALK ABOWT AR LAWD AND SAVIOR C O R O N A V I R U S

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

hope donald trump dies soon :) think that would cheer a lot of folks up

[thelipglossbitch]

that sad, sad moment when you realize that your seventh grade health lesson understood you better than your parents ever did

[berniesrevolution]

A general strike? On April 20th, 2020? To make an aid plan that would be permanent? To make healthcare a right? That’d be crazy to have happen on April 20th. Absolutely crazy for a general strike on April 20th. Nothing is going to happen on April 20th, 2020 in the form of a general strike. Nope, not on April 20th, 2020. 

This can’t happen. Nope. Nothing. Will. Happen. On. April 20th 2020.

[chaoskirin2]

oh man i just noticed the bootlickers in the notes

You don’t need someone to bag your groceries. Bag them yourself. “but then i’ve just proven that we don’t need baggers lololol” The reason baggers exist isn’t because we can’t do it ourselves, it’s because having someone to ring up your shit and bag it makes things a hell of a lot more convenient. Clerks and baggers are AMAZING at saving time, and you want that convenience. You don’t want to spend the extra time doing it. You’ve just realized that the commodity of having a bagger saves you so much time. so fucking pay them a living wave to do it.

Oh but what about deliveries of life-saving equipment and medical supplies? Because that’s where people always go when talking about strikes and protests. PEOPLE WILL DIE!!!!111one Yeah. People who are striking don’t want to hurt people. No one is ever really hurt by a strike. This is the same argument used when people block roads to protest. “But what about the emergency vehicles!!!” they cry, while watching a video of a crowd of protesters parting for an ambulance. The truth is, vital services will still function, because the people who strike have more compassion in their small toe than you have in your entire body.

You remember that Scrubs episode where the nurses went on strike? But they couldn’t actually walk out because of their patients. So they slowed down all their administrative work that didn’t involve helping sick and injured people. That’s it.

People are so worried about ME ME ME ME when workers go on strike. Because either you got yours so you think no one else has a right (because for some reason you think rights are a pie, and if someone gets more rights, somehow you get less? Yeah, about that. The US just pissed $1.5 trillion away into the stock market, so there’s more than enough pie for you AND the bagger you just yelled at to hurry up), or you were cheated and abused your whole life and now you’re 70 and destitute and you think everyone else should be as miserable as you are. Fuck you.

Strike. Fight for your rights. Store clerks, delivery personnel, and stock clerks work ten times harder than any CEO, and I’ll gladly be inconvenienced if it means you get higher fucking pay.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I cannot overemphasize the power of a general strike 

these fuckers really chose 4/20. they did that. much respect

[pleasefireme]

Please fire me. I work at McDonald’s and last week I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to an old man they we do not sell hot dogs (McDogs as he claimed it) then he threatened to report me for “withholding products from him”!

[sinbadism]

hes from an alternate timeline

[cuttlefishlovr]

the McDogs man actually proves the multiverse theory

[thelipglossbitch]

I just impulsively baked 42 cookies, researched a man in connection to several crimes in florida, and deep cleaned my entire room. crazy shit happens when you’re quanatined, apparently.

[typhlonectes]

[fadedputa-deactivated20151203]

If i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly id have 0 dollars bitch what u thought lmao