The Little Idiot That Could

[thelittleidiotthatcould]

Finally got covid. Been struggling through it for a week now and it’s not really going anywhere. Trying to come to terms with the fact that I’ll be spending the third anniversary of Mel’s death in isolation.

Grateful for friends near and far who have sent me things and checked in while I’ve been sick.

[thelittleidiotthatcould]

Sometimes I just fucking miss her. When things were good. 💔💔💔

[xiaq]

Ok so I have these two friends. One straight cis guy, and one lesbian. They look pretty similar, have the same hair style, and tend to shop at the same places for clothes. So the running friend-group joke is that they’re twins. And they’re always like “I don’t see it.”

This weekend, completely unplanned, they showed up to a wedding looking like this.

I think they see it now.

[thelittleidiotthatcould]

So.

I entered a relationship very shortly after my wife died. (Hi, I haven’t been on tumblr in years and I don’t remember if I shared this. My wife died. Nearly 3 years ago. By suicide.)

And I lost some people with her death. Some that I needed to lose and others just…fell away. People don’t know how to handle suicide. I get it. But it was all traumatic as fuck. And my dear friend became my main community and my support and my love and somehow she became the tourniquet that kept me from bleeding out, so to speak, and then covid happened and my communities just got smaller and smaller and smaller but she was there and and and…

We broke up last week and the pain of both losses is all hitting me at once. I didn’t have to be *fully* alone when my wife died because I had this friend and person who had seen me through the traumas leading up to her death. Someone who was there. And now I’m just…here…in my little house…in this city where I don’t have many people anymore…avoiding going home to “family” because fuck if I’m gonna have to be around THAT in addition to all these feelings.

I spent my birthday texting a suicide hotline. A fucking useless one at that because, bless their hearts, how can a hotline expect to fill the role of connection when you actually don’t want connection at all? When you can’t even answer the phone if it’s someone you know calling. I’m safe and all that. But fuck. There’s my real life update for anyone who wants it. I don’t know how the human race evolved to live such long lives. I think 30-40 years is plenty.

[sweetoothgirl]

Ice Cream Sandwiches 🍦

(Recipes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

[thelittleidiotthatcould]

So…I haven’t been on here really in over 5 years. But hi. And maybe I’m back. Maybe.

[thelittleidiotthatcould]

So like...Judith told me to post this.  So here.  It’s a take on a song my choir is working on right now and I love it because Georgia, mountain music, and reasons.  It’s called Dear Appalachia by Timothy Michael Powell. <3<3 Also: hey, Tumblr.  It’s been a while!

[pr1nceshawn]

Things About America That Some Non-Americans Find Weird.

[bearlyholdingittogether]

THIS IS ALL REALLY TRUE

[estaraswanberg]

I’d actually say ‘that many non-Americans find weird’ ^^

[thatfloatingcat]

I’M GLAD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED ALL THE FLAGS.

Honestly I was in Baltimore in the summer and in one place there was like…. 7 flags at once intersection. I just…. what?

[somecunttookmyurl]

THE BREAD THING OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU JUST EATING CAKE ALL THE TIME I remember an American friend coming to visit and being like “your bread is… so good. It’s amazing” and me being all “dude, it’s just BREAD” before I went over there like ah yes I understand now. You do not have bread. You have brioche.

[thelittleidiotthatcould]

Jewish and Muslim Americans: im worried trump will become the next Hitler

Survivors of US internment camps and German Holocaust camps: this man speaks of doing evil that the world tries to avoid doing again please dont vote for him

half the GOP and some thrid party ppl: we really dropped the ball and let someone very non qualified into our party

LBGT Americans: this man will take away everything we worked for the past 50+ years

some asshole thinking they clever: haha you guys are just fear mongering all parties are bad :)

[wlw]

It must be nice to be racist and unaffected by trumps election

[mjwatson]

can you imagine wanting guns so badly that you don’t care if you take away women, lgbt+ and poc rights in the process

[waitingforthatday-deactivated20]

[reenuka-deactivated20181217]

EVERY WOMAN.

[redvelvetvevo]

this is real it’s happening and it’s terrifying

[kaleidoscope112-deactivated2017]

[miltonsong]

Easy.  Backlash.

[quietstorm-thundathighs]

reactionary politics i.e shit we was supposed to learn from not continue to repeat

[pro-uterus-agenda]

remember this election the next time someone tells you that “rape accusations ruin men’s lives!!!!!”

[iamsnortythevampyr]

[weavemama]

[zuzu-and-friends-deactivated202]

i dont trust anyone who thinks trumps presidency wont be disastrous.

[rasec-wizzlbang-blog]

people opposing hillary: she’s crooked people opposing trump: he makes me fear for my life

[drowsyfantasy-deactivated201812]

Isn’t that also the usual dichotomy of it, though? 

men going on a first date: what if she’s lying on her profile page?  women going on a first date: what if he’s going to kill me?