Pairing : Shigaraki x Reader
You were mindlessly staring at your empty fridge. You needed to do something about it tomorrow. You walked to your bedroom and stared at the ceiling. It had been more than a year since the incident. Since Tomura Shigaraki, a man that wasn't really your friend or even someone you knew killed two people in front of you. Since that day, you never saw him again. But you heard about him. Apparently, he wasn't just a homeless young man society wronged. He was a sadist. You heard from some people you treated that attacking and killing people was his nature. And you couldn't deny it. You saw it. You could still remember his mischievous smile. It had haunted every single one of your nights. You had been having nightmares ever since. Curiously, never once had you dreamed about him killing you. It was like he could never. But you knew it was possible. You just couldn't imagine him doing this to you.
You sighed as you went to lie down on your bed. You stopped your side job soon after the incident. People sometimes came by but you never opened the door. You stopped because it was too dangerous. You could have died that day. Instead, you had to clean up two people's ashes.
You suddenly heard a knock on your front door. You hadn't in a month. You sat up and looked through the peephole. You didn't recognize them. It was a young girl and a man. It felt like you had seen them somewhere but definitely not here. You rolled your eyes, ready to ignore them when you heard :
"Are you sure Tomura said it was here ?"
You froze. You haven't heard of him in a year. Never saw anyone who personally knew him. Until now, it seemed. You opened the door.
"Who are you ?" you asked.
"Tomura said you were his friend."
It didn't answer your question but you still let them in.
"Do you have cake ?" the man asked.
He looked nice but you frowned. How did he know you used to make cake ?
"He said you were a doctor who didn't ask questions," the young girl said.
She was smiling at you and it scared you a little. But you couldn't hide your bitterness.
"If Tomura was still around, he'd know I'm not a doctor anymore and I'm gonna ask one question."
The girl's smile grew wider. For a moment, you hesitated. You knew he was trouble. You knew you were better off without him. But just because he wasn't around didn't mean you weren't bounded to him. He was all you could think about.
"We can take you to him," the young girl said.
You froze, surprised. You had thought about seeing him again for so long.
She nodded like it was nothing. She had no idea how important it was to you. You looked at the young girl's shoulder. It was a deep cut but it wasn't too bad. She wasn't a bad kid, you thought. You wondered what led her to be on that side. Once you fixed her shoulder, she made you follow her into a small alley. The kind you wouldn't go willingly if it wasn't for him. You were getting into the villains' side. She opened a back door.
"You're back," you heard once you got in.
The voice took your breath away. His voice. It had been a year since you heard it and it was a little bit different from what you remembered but the way you felt was the same. He looked up and his eyes finally met yours. None of you spoke for a moment. You just took a look at his face. He looked tired. His hair seemed longer.
He hummed, still staring at you. You guessed he didn't suddenly become talkative since the last time you met.
"Why are you here ?" he asked you.
His face didn't show any emotion. He wasn't curious about you, he wasn't happy to see you. Maybe you were the only one.
"I thought I'd say you need a friend, so I'd be here for you, but you already have friends. Then I figured I'd say you need a doctor, but Himiko said you already have one. So I have no other reason to be here other than you."
He turned around. He couldn't look at you. Not when he tried his best to forget about you.
"I won't," he heard you say.
He clenched his fists. He was always angry. At the world, at the system, and now at you too.
He hated you for being so naive. He couldn't stop his anger from overflowing when he turned towards you. You jumped from how sudden his movements were and that made him even angrier. He walked to you and put his fingers around your neck. Four out of five.
"I'm one finger away to kill you."
He stared at you. The look you had on your face was different from the last time. Still, you remained different from him, innocent. You were still scared.
"I know you won't kill me."
"But you're still scared."
You didn't answer and he let you go. You didn't stop looking at him like you were scared he would disappear. He couldn't help thinking he didn't deserve this.
"That's why you have no reason to be here," he said.
You slowly raised your arm and touched his cheek. He didn't flinch like the last time. He didn't move at all. It had been a while since anybody touched him so... affectionately. He couldn't even tell when was the last time it happened. He closed his eyes. It felt warm, different from anything he had felt before.
It was something he could never have. All he had known was hate and destruction, and that was all he had been set to know.
"Can't I be here just because I want to be with you ?" you asked.
He opened his eyes and met yours, who seemed to be begging to accept you.
"And then what ? Are you gonna be a villain too ?"
You frowned. You didn't think this far. You had all the time in the world and you didn't think about what would happen next.
"What about your studies ? And your family ?"
"And your friends ?" he added. "Your life ?"
The two of you were from two different worlds. You wouldn't be able to be in those two worlds, you would have to choose. You had to leave everything and everybody you knew behind. Forever.
"What if I drop it all ?" you asked.
Your voice was smaller than usual. He smiled. It was different from the one you saw that day. He looked innocent. For the first time, it looked like the two of you were part of the same world. You could see in his eyes that he too, wondered how it would have been if you had met under different circumstances. If you didn't open the door that day.
His smile disappeared and his eyes grew cold.
"That's why you need to go home, Y/N."
Your vision got blurry. You didn't want to cry in front of him. You had been waiting to see him. Wondering how he was, where he was. He was doing well, as well as a villain could do. He had people around him, people like him, people who could understand him.
"If I do," you said. "Will you come to visit from time to time ?"
He didn't move. He didn't answer. You sighed. You never thought you would see him again, so even if it was one last time, you were happy to see he was ok. You turned around to leave the room.
"Maybe I will," you heard him say.
You smiled as you walked away. It wasn't totally over yet.