The Mad Scarf

full time spreadsheet and data vomiter

[theconcealedweapon]

[themadscarf]

Sometime Ren's theme gets stuck in my head but because my brain is broken it just turns into the LotR main theme after the first pause

[hi-intrepid-heroes]

the bad kids + text posts: adaine abernant edition

[themadscarf]

2023 was the third worst year for gaming for me and i think 2024 I'm going to be a gamer again.

[ahsoka-in-a-hood]

Jedi as serial scammers though. Every mission includes a sidequest to sabacc table for extra cash. Padawans on their first outing be like ‘but I thought the senate was funding this mission’ yes little one but they will ride our arses for every cent so let’s go fleece some rich asshole. He won’t even notice. You know how cops were invented to protect private property? Well jedi are here to protect your everything except your private property. *force tricks an atm into printing free money* that, my very young padawan, is something we call a victimless crime.

[mid-nighttiger]

[Image ID: Screenshot of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi from The Phantom Menace. A speech bubble has been edited onto it to appear as if Qui-Gon is saying the original post. /End ID]

[memewhore]

[punkrorschach]

the “i am from russia” was a warning

[hobohobgoblim]

I asked a taxi driver in Bucharest to take the quickest route to the airport. 10 minutes later we're doing 120kph the wrong way done the street car tracks when another taxi tried to pass us and dude just floors it. Never spoke a word, smoked 9 cigarettes over the 30 minute ride, never took off his sunglasses and blasting opera all the way. I look at it as paying 15€ plús tip to lose all fear of death.

[nowhen-but-now]

Having lived in Bucharest I can tell you he would have done that even with out you asking

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

okay so

be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can

know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make

call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)

to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else

stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long

have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle

let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history

ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-

be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)

go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step

use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that

just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh

[christs-cock-deactivated2023110]

yes

[themadscarf]

Doctor Who | The Lonely God

This is the story about the Doctor, about the lonely god... He has seen so much, maybe too much. He has lost so much, maybe too much. Does the universe owe h...

Just out here getting emotional over a youtube video from SEVEN YEARS AGO

[themadscarf]

I have found the hardest part of DMing is how everyone’s face falls during encounters, even if they hit.

I gotta get over “furrowed face = concentrating” instead of “furrowed face = tired”

[ampervadasz]

[kaworin]

[surfdog2000]

what th

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO find this again for THREE YEARS but once Free! came out I couldn’t google ANIME SWIMMING CLIP ANYMORE

[tierradelatrasero]

This is such a god damn amazing piece of animation

[justatechnowizard]

[chazzfox]

Oh myfdb c

[crownquill]

I have a cryptic need to reblog this as much as possible

[kwermaid28]

Are we gonna ignore the sounds this man is making

[marumicore]

The transition at the end is SENDING ME

[ampervadasz]

[drtanner]

Pure genius on display here, lads.

[macspaguer]

[childishagate84]

Automatic melon farms before hoppers were invented

[jnacho]

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

mother fucker unlimited

[beep-beepster]

this is some ed edd eddy shit

[karhs]

the eyepatch. the washing machine. the shovel. this is incredible.

[inthefallofasparrow]

King of Wands

[nanobotics]

Fun fact you can be banned from the Warner Bros official Hogwarts Legacy discord chat, for discussing having a Jewish character.

Source Second source: I joined the server and checked that this was real.

[badideainaglass]

The funniest sword fight scene in the history of cinema. 

[seanfmcguire]

BEST. SWORD FIGHT. EVER.

[musicalhell]

Let’s be honest, this is how I would sword fight.

[rozunderpressure]

@warmageragnar Lewis Vs Otranto, a realistic version.

[redscullyrevival]

#what on earth is this?

The Court Jester starring Danny Kaye, Basil Rathbone, and the amazing Glynis Johns, and Angela Lansbury and it is all around a fun time.

[spotweld]

All kidding aside, watch Basil Rathbone’s foot work. He knows fencing, and sets up the form even though he’s still playing up the stage blows for Danny Kaye to flail at for comedic effect.

[theimpossiblescheme]

Okay, but I need to talk about this because it’s even funnier if you know the context... Basil Rathbone was one of the greatest swordsmen in Hollywood history.  Which is why he almost never won any of his onscreen fights–he was good enough that he knew how to effectively make the other guy look even better.  That’s why the swordfight in The Adventures of Robin Hood looks so awesome even though Errol Flynn is nowhere near Rathbone’s level.

But this fight, right here?  Was one of the only fights where he needed a stunt double.  Because while he was able to keep Danny Kaye from being seriously injured, Rathbone himself nearly got skewered a few times by Kaye’s flailing around.  So in a bizarre way, this is probably the closest to an even match Rathbone had in his career… just not for the reasons you’d expect.

[hamelin-born]

“Don’t you know, there are some things that can beat smartness and foresight? Awkwardness and stupidity can. The best swordsman in the world doesn’t need to fear the second best swordsman in the world; no, the person for him to be afraid of is some ignorant antagonist who has never had a sword in his hand before; he doesn’t do the thing he ought to.”

-Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court (1889)

The origin of a saying I’ve seen quoted in various works of fiction - “The best swordsman does not fear the second best, he fears the worst since there’s no telling what that idiot is going to do.”

[themadscarf]

Every single fairy tale with animal to human transformation, and they're the human age equivalent of that animal, but they don't understand a single human language at all. Just the random cooing noises humans make at them in the wild.