tales of a sardonic

"this beauty doesn't need a beast" 'if you can’t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit' "i so totally want to follow a blog which is about the girls depressing love life.. her forever aloneness and her musings of day to day life" - said no one ever.

[memesandlaughs]

[macrolit]

Literary history that happened on 21 April

[that-tattooed-daddy-deactivated]

Let me take you lingerie shopping and fuck you in the changing rooms.

[missnaughtyangel-deactivated201]

Uhhhh fuck yes please

[misspussymonster]

🥺

Ok mamas 💕

[amygdalae]

Uh. bro what's with the diagonal red lines on your face. wait a minute. Oh shit are you anime blushing cuz you're in love w me bro????? Its ok dude u can tell me

[mysexualthoughtsandconfessions]

Can we talk about how fun it is to tease someone without letting them know you're doing it on purpose. Just little acts that seem innocent but sooo aren't and you just get more intense with every sign that they're getting turned on?

For example: playfully rubbing knees when you're sitting next to them and pretending like you don't notice, going to whisper into their ear about something funny and softly giggling into it with hot air as you watch them squirm, when going to hug them, standing up on your tippy toes (even if they're the same height as you) so you can reach behind their head with your body pressed close into theirs and lightly tug on some of their locks while stroking their scalp, finding a freckle/scar/etc somewhere on their body and telling them how pretty it looks while you trace your finger along the skin there, cradling their face in your hand and moving it down so your thumb can stroke their cheek while the rest of your fingers graze along their neck, or wearing stuff that isn't revealing but is up close (for example, a shirt that looks normal from the front but when leaning towards them, they can see right down your tits)

It's honestly just so hot seeing someone get worked up and having to suppress it cause they don't realize you're doing it intentionally

[mysexualthoughtsandconfessions]

Can we talk about how hot guys are with:

Big tummies

Absolutely no fat or muscle and are just skin and bones

Glasses

Stretch marks (i just wanna lick em, dont mind me)

Eyebags (fuck this gets me)

Curves

Long hair

No hair

Thigh gaps that make it hard for them to try to squeeze around you when ur down there 😈

Thick thighs you can drown in and ride easily

Scars (especially big ones that stand out)

Big foreheads (bonus points if it has those creases when they raise their eyebrows 🥵)

Man tiddies

Visible rib cages (dragging my tongue up these would be so tasty)

Bushy eyebrows

Big fingers (👁👁)

Square knees

And literally everything else that isn't sexualized nearly enough

Just ✨men✨

[mysexualthoughtsandconfessions]

My type: guys that are super confident and badass outside of the bedroom but become total softies when you're alone with them. Like, I can just press my body up against them between their legs and grip the back of their head to the side while I start sucking on their neck and they just can't help but respond so cutely. Whispering "fuck" while they shift around; hearing their breathing get heavier as I drag my tongue up their skin. Adorable

[mysexualthoughtsandconfessions]

Thinking about if someone was making out with me and had me pinned down with my arms above my head. They're nibbling on the skin behind my jaw while they grind into me and I'm so turned on that I accidentally cum from the stimulation. Hearing my moan and feeling my body react, they look up to ask "Omg...did you just cum? Just from that!?"

I'm looking away out of total embarrassment so that they can't see the tears forming in my eyes but they just grab my chin and force me to look at them. Whispering softly "Did you?..."

Still thinking they're going to make fun of me for it, I just respond with "yeah..." but notice the way their expression shifts. There's a gleam of light suddenly in their eyes and they're smirking down at me with a crazed look.

"That's so fucking hot, holy shit. Let's see how many more times I can"

[mysexualthoughtsandconfessions]

Anyone else do that thing when finally being able to stand up after being 0verst1mulated where you just stand there staring at the ground like 👁👁 for a minute, not sure if you should try walking yet or not?

[miszbehave-deactivated20191228]

rub her clit and tell her to hold fucking still

[nympho-barbie-deactivated201905]

YES YES YES YES YES

[nefesnefesex]

[bumpintheroad]

it’s me, i’m girls

[jonismitchell-deactivated202410]

if the police won’t use force against fascists actively threatening the democratic process then they never need to use violence against peacefully protesting citizens. this was always true, but jesus christ it really has been highlighted by the contrast.

[crtter]

Three different guys in the same shelf. I repeat. We have three different guys in the same shelf and one of them has his CHEEK MEAT hanging out like it’s nothing

[crtter]

Scandalous. How do they keep getting away with this

[crtter]

Will the madness ever stop...

[jumpingjacktrash]

my country is having a stupid meltdown, post bears

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Have the cutest bears I could find.

Hope things get better over there soon.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[rainbowkarolina]

all these hearts 💖💓💗💞💞💕💖💖💞💗💓💖💕💞💗💓💖 💞💗💕💖💞💞💗💗💓💓💕💕 💗💖💞💓💖💓💗💞💞💕💖💞💗💓💖💕💞💗💓💖 💞💗💕💖💞💞💗💞💓💓💕💕💖💓💗💞💞💕💖💖💞💗💓💖💕💞💗💓💖 💞💗💕💖💞💞💗💗 for everyone in a red state that voted blue