it's like derry, maine.

welcome to the loser’s club, asshole!17 // Emma

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

might fuck around and think until i get sad

[wtfmulder]

the world’s general intolerance for Mulder is either a devastating plot point or comedy gold

[artfoli]

The Birth of Venus (1483-85), by Sandro Botticelli (1445-1510) // The Birth of Venus (1879), by William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905)

[penny-anna]

proposed new sub genre: ‘high fantasy but they’re allowed to say fuck’. needs a snappier name.

[maxipaddy]

When you were in school and someone said hey my friend thinks you’re hot

[actualnymph]

[turians]

Here's a video of them in action!

[frogitivity]

hi could i ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Microwave for 40 minutes 😔

[evie-infinity-deactivated202308]

why were you microwaving a lemon???

[frogitivity]

I read boiling lemons helps cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn’t own any pots

[muchos-michis-chikis]

Did you burn an orange too? How???

[frogitivity]

Microwave for 40 minutes 😔

[sagethesailor]

[seleides-deactivated20240602]

reunited ♥️

[steamed-greens]

In Bed, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, 1893

[bunniope]

get that intellectual shit outta here this is DONALD AND DOG (2019)

[between-moses]

Donald and Dog, me, 2019

[blackness-by-your-side]

please

[marqweabyss]

💀💀💀💀

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i think about this every day

[catchymemes]

[64-bitsims]

[hyrude]

why is this being presented as comical advice. i think it’s nice

[charlesoberonn]

The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

[charlesoberonn]

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

[aphony-cree]

But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand 

Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*

Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*

This is a Greek comedy I could get behind 

[obaewankenope]

What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn't drown. Then they'd have a sack that's invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.

Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield

[adspexi]

thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys

and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over. 

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[oldtumblhurgoyf]

[rymonaflowers]

Your computer single handedly caused global warming in a matter of seconds

[gengarite]

he disconnected immediately afterwards

[foxy-sierra]

DEMOLISHED.

[ipromiseyouiwilldosomething]

[penguinlove1001]

me, in a store: *presses button on a kids toy*

toy: *makes very loud noise*

me: briskly walks away with a surprised face pretending like I didn’t just do that

[ironwoman359]

I am so glad this experience is universal

[glyphsmash]

*eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry* *eats a berry*

[tchaikovskaya]