My feet are always cold now.
And I wonder if you miss sleeping next to me.
My cold feet tangled in yours for warmth.
I think my bones knew, that last night.
It doesn’t matter why, now.
Something in my body said “hold her.”
And I did. I held you for hours.
Trying to memorize the way your chest and belly rose and fell as you breathed yourself into a deep sleep.
I often wonder if you woke up that morning and knew it would be the last time.
Did I look beautiful the last time you watched me, peaceful and quiet?
I didn’t feel beautiful in those last months.
Maybe now I’d believe it.
I can’t count on my hands how many times a day I want to send you a stupid meme.
Or tell you about this new job I hate.
I packed all the memories into a box,
I hate that you gave it all to me.
So that huge box with every piece of our life...
It haunts my one bedroom apartment.
-Divorce Chronicles Part 1
“You won’t talk to me, but I have to let this out.”